Have you been married a few years and noticed lately that your wife doesn’t seem so into you anymore?
Maybe even after a short life of marital bliss, you might be wondering “Why does my wife seem to no longer love me?”
Right now, she might be looking enviously at her free and easy single friends.
If you are worried that you are 100% sure your wife no longer cares for you, and you want to save your marriage before she hits the divorce courts, you better look at a few ways why this could be the case.
There might still be time to remedy it before the inevitable happens.
We are going to give you 17 ways that you can fix your marriage and turn things around to get your wife and you back on track.
It will require work on your part, but if you are willing, you can do it.
If you want a step-by-step, hands-on approach on how to make your wife start loving you and save your marriage in the process, there are very few courses out there that’ll help you do so.
1) Start to laugh more with her in good and bad times
Laugh more during the times that she usually sees you scowling, stressed, and frustrated.
Yes, life can be challenging at many times in our lives.
But if you scowl your way through life, it can make things seem ten times worse.
Maybe your wife has also become an angry, frustrated, and irritating person to have around, but you can’t go down that emotional path; not if you don’t want to end things.
Try and smile, relax and be more light-hearted about stuff before confronting the stuff together.
You be the one to lead the way to a better way of thinking for both of you; it can make a huge difference.
See how your children will enjoy the atmosphere more!
2) Are you mature enough for her to trust, look up to, and respect?
Your wife might be a highly successful and intelligent woman, who would function very well independently.
Still, she needs to respect her husband as well, to feel she can rely on him when things get tough.
Imagine if you have stopped being that man; not someone she can look up to anymore.
Perhaps, to her, you have become like one of the children that she has to ‘take care of’.
If you have stopped behaving like a mature man that she can’t rely on to work through stuff with, you can’t expect her to still show you respect – rather, you can be sure it will gradually fade away from her and the children.
This maturity also needs to be carried over into the workplace and all relationships so that people can look up to you and respect you as a consistent, reliable guy.
3) Getting back into the dominant, masculine role in your marriage
Most women want a guy who is more dominant and masculine than they are – the guy who wears the pants in the marriage.
Some women like men whom they can dominate and control, but it is not likely to be a happy marriage.
Women want a man to take a dynamic lead toward keeping the sexual aspect as well as respect towards each other in the marriage.
She only had sex with her husband once every few years!
These are the women who wear pants at home.
To make your wife feel feminine around you, you have to feel, think, behave, and take a masculine active role around her.
If a man is more feminine around his wife, i.e. emotionally sensitive, a bit girly at times, and afraid of things that women are normally afraid of, he is inviting his wife to take on the more masculine role and energy.
A man taking the dominant masculine role does not mean he bosses his wife around and treats her like a sexual slave.
Your role is to be a strong leader in the home, to assist with all the challenges that come your way.
Generally, all a woman really wants to see is a man who is not lazy, does not take her for granted, and doesn’t expect her to take on the role of the man, or pander to all his selfish desires.
4) You need to make her feel sexy in your eyes
We’ve all seen and know of couples who are still deeply in love with each other after many, many years together.
But it’s only possible when a man knows how to treat a woman and is able to deepen her love, attraction, and respect for him over time.
If he just takes her for granted, she will gradually lose her attraction to him.
If he naturally flirts with her, complimenting her on her looks, she will be more sexually confident around him, happy and content that she can still make her husband desire her even though she has aged over time.
As she respects him, she feels turned on by him and wants to give him her best.
5) Get over your insecurities
If you are not emotionally strong and you have become weak in this area in your woman’s eyes, leaving it up to her to be emotionally strong, you can be sure your relationship will disintegrate.
Women love confidence, determination to succeed, and strong self-esteem in a man.
They are turned off by a defeatist with insecurities, not a fighter.
Remember back in the day, a woman would put up with a man because of the shame of being divorced?
But today, strong, independent women of today, will begin to hate a husband who does not meet their expectations of what a strong independent man is in a marriage; a strong partner.
She won’t stand anymore for a man who puts her down and doesn’t encourage and build her up.
She will soon fall out of love with such a man and be out of there in no time.
If you want her to stick with you these days, you have to rise to the challenge.
Women push their husbands to become emotionally stronger all the time so they can take care of the family and propel it forwards successfully.
There are no rewards for the emotionally weak man.
6) Get her to feel excited with you about new and mutual life goals
Once a couple has achieved their life goals of getting married, having a couple of children, buying a house, and putting their kids through school and college, they might be wondering, ‘what now?’
Your wife might be thinking that she’s given everything to raising the kids and can’t bear the thought of spending the rest of her life with you…
…you are not the same person you once were, and you don’t even talk anymore!
But now, you will have to sit down with your wife and chat about stuff that includes her before it is too late.
Something that can excite you both and make you happy again as you go into the later years.
Both of you must be excited about your plans, and they should be carried through, otherwise, boredom, loneliness, and fighting can resume.
You can’t continue in an unhappy marriage because there isn’t much more to aim for anymore.
You will need to steer the ship and guide the way for a happy life for both of you.
7) Get her to fall for you all over again because you are sexy, clean, well-groomed, and choose a healthy lifestyle
You might find when you put the above tips into action that your wife has been waiting for you to do it for a long time.
But which woman doesn’t love a well-groomed, fresh-smelling guy who takes care of his looks and body?
OK, you might be saying, she hates a lot more about me than my grooming.
It might not be possible for you to just wave a magic wand over each thing she hates, and solve it overnight.
It might take a couple of months for a human to develop a new habit.
Grooming is one of those things that you can start changing immediately, and it’s something that she will hugely appreciate.
8) Start helping her around the house
Remember, chores don’t have to be divided down the middle to be equal.
Just helping each other with the necessary chores goes a long way, and if you are excellent at prepping dinner, do it.
Do the chores for each other that each is good at; working as a team – it will bring harmony into the marriage.
9) She says you don’t even know about your kids
Studies have found that men do interact with their kids for about 3 hours a day, but you might not be one of those.
Maybe your wife has said to you; you know nothing about what is going on in the kids’ lives.
It is time for you to start taking an interest in their lives and involving yourself with their activities – see how their faces will shine with joy!
10) Your family is driving her nuts
Maybe she knows only too well that you love your mom more than her.
Sometimes, your parent’s well-meaning behavior is seen as meddling and undermining of their parenting skills.
But you need to talk over this with her, reassuring her.
11) Do you nag her for sex all the time?
Your wife, between the kids’ activities, drama at work, emails, and LIFE, might be too tired or disinterested in sex at the end of the day, compared to you.
Even though research shows that regular and active sex is vital for a happy marriage, a man needs to make it a happy and romantic time.
Being complementary and loving to your wife is a way to build up a healthy sex life – like sending her sexy texts that keep her smiling and happy.
What about helping her put the kids to bed and charming her with romantic foreplay before you hit the sheets?
12) The credit card is maxed and no one will say why and for what
Financial transparency is important in a marriage, and it makes sense that the two of you talk about purchases together and what you are going to spend your money on.
Financial honesty is a top priority because if you are both suspicious about where the money is going, it can cause hate and massive arguments, and dissatisfaction.
13) Do you appreciate her?
Often a tired wife will say “he never appreciates me”.
And thing is, if you are not communicating well, you might not even know how your wife enjoys being appreciated.
Sometimes a passionate kiss in the morning or that surprise basket of flowers says a lot, it shows you appreciate her efforts.
Remember the compliments too, because it works both ways.
Sprinkle some compliments around and usually, they come back to you.
14) You don’t seem to know the basic skills that she needs
Your wife expects you to see to the basic needs in the household, and jump in to help without being told.
Many wives complain that they have to bring their husbands’ attention to just the basic things and then sometimes even show them how to fix stuff.
Go on a course to learn how to fix things, or get the experts in, but get up from the couch and start to help out.
15) You disappear when the going gets tough
Whether you are a workaholic, or you have a hobby that takes a lot of your time, you seem to disappear when your wife or kids need you most; you quickly make a disappearing act when something needs attention.
Many wives are alone and lonely in their marriage more than they were when they were single.
You go out, doing the things that are important to you, leaving your wife stuck at home to manage the household solo.
16) Do you snore away at night not concerned whether she gets quality sleep or not, as long as you do
Men do snore more than women because they have larger oropharynxes’.
This is a space behind the tongue.
Women often lose a lot of sleep because of men snoring.
There are good ways to help to snore with things like humidifiers or nasal strips etc.
But to show no sympathy or consideration towards your wife – can you understand why she might be resenting you?
17) Do you give her the silent treatment when you are irritated and mad?
Do you think that it is a good way to diffuse the situation?
That it will bring about a temporary truce?
It is impossible to resolve issues when someone will not talk and sits sulking for the rest of the day.
This tactic does incredible damage to a relationship and shows you have red flags flying in your communication skills.
Maybe what you need is a professional therapist to help sort out your silent treatment ways – you will find it worth your while.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What are the reasons a wife will hate her husband?
Some of the reasons why a wife might begin to despise her husband are that he allows her to wear the pants in the marriage.
This means she is no longer feminine to him and she starts to hate his cowardly ways.
He might have even become annoying and insecure about her lack of affection for him, but it just makes her even more out of touch with him.
When should you walk away from your marriage?
Many people just long to walk away when they feel there is no point in saving the marriage; that it is beyond repair.
If you want to save your marriage, however, we have provided you with tips as to what you can do, besides maybe speaking to a professional therapist.
If you really feel that you would be a better version of yourself without your husband or wife, then go. But remember, marriage is worth fighting for as well.
How can you move forward if you feel like you hate your husband?
Look inwards to yourself; something a lot of people overlook.
You could also decide to accept him and his flaws.
You could confront him and effectively communicate with him, planning a way forward.
Go and see a marriage counselor.
Both of you make an effort to love each other again.
What are good things that make a great husband?
He communicates all the time with you, never taking communication lightly.
He thoroughly enjoys spending time with you and being around you.
He makes you feel happy and content.
He supports his wife.
He loves showing you what he knows in kind and supportive ways.
He is loyal.
He acknowledges his mistakes and will apologize.
He cares for you, always showing a protective spirit.
Wives can become hardened by their husbands and their actions.
Your wife might eventually come to you and say she needs time apart.
She lets you know that she has feelings of hate for you and she doesn’t believe you will change.
With determination, you can fix your marriage for the sake of your marriage and your children, even if you believe it might not work.
A husband needs to step up his game, get involved with the kids, and give his wife space where she can just be herself.
If you don’t want your marriage to end, there is an important time now to do some hard work.
There aren’t any quick fixes here or easy answers.
Up till now, you haven’t bothered to change or to contribute toward making the marriage work.
But if you are willing to take the first step; you’ve made a good start.
What you need now is a complete overhaul, patience, and time to work on your part.
Trying to make her change will only make her dig in her heels more and she will resent you more.
To truly win her back, your best bet now is to make yourself the man with whom she will enjoy living with again, loving, and sharing times again.
It’s not going to happen overnight.
You can change yourself for the better.
If you accomplish it, you will certainly be a healthier person and a happier one.
And in the entire process, you might restore your marriage, and restore your wife back to you.
It’s worth the shot – can we drink to that?
“It is not what he has, or even what he does which expresses the worth of a man, but what he is” – Henri Frederic Amiel