Why Men Come Back Months Later & What To Do When He Comes Back After No Contact

Why do men come back months later

  • Why do men leave and come back?
  • What’s in the male mind after no contact?

You’ll get the answers to these and many more…

Sooner or later in their lives, girls will chase after guys and eventually realize, not in all cases though, that all the chasing is what drove him further away.

Then at other times, a girl will stop giving her guy the time of day, only to discover that somewhere down the line, he comes crawling back, for whatever reasons, and wants to be friends again, or even restart the relationship!

Women become devastated when men don’t fight for them because they love to feel wanted.

So when a guy breaks up with them, they react and want to chase after him.

Some women, when their guy dumps them and then comes back to them, they believe he is fighting for them.

But men don’t want yo-yo-type women, ones that run back to them every time they are dumped either.

You might not believe it, but your value often decreases in a man’s eyes; to them, you just come across as desperate.

What Will I Learn?

Men are driven by competition

When it comes to love, men are very much driven by competition.

So if you have decided to apply the no-contact rule with your boyfriend when he dumped you, you are causing him to have to compete to win your love again.

He won’t like it that instead of running back to him, you are now hard to get; you are ignoring him, and you are starting to work on yourself to turn yourself into the best kind of person you can be in all aspects.

Without even knowing it, you are making yourself much more attractive to your ex-boyfriend who will want to start chasing you again.

And when he sees other guys noticing you, he will be truly driven by competition to get you back!

He will be really upset if you ignore him and even more so when he notices that you have “disappeared” from his notifications without any explanation.

If you did want him back, you stand a very good chance now

Since you applied the no-contact rule, you are aware that your boyfriend has started reaching out to you again.

But since trying to come back, you have shown him signs that you are no longer interested in taking him back. 

He has even been acting back in anger and jealousy. He has been texting you, asking you questions to get you to answer him back.

He has become sarcastic with you, trying to evoke pity from you. 

And when you ignore him, he gets kinda panicky and sends messages like, “Why aren’t you texting me back? Hello!”

Naturally, he wants you to react.

He is playing on your emotions to try and trick you into responding to him.

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Remember, though, that even with your no-contact rule, which is aimed at getting your ex back, he still might not reach out to you

But don’t panic.

Some men are more composed than other men, and others are stubborn.

If he doesn’t reach out to you during or after your no-contact rule, it doesn’t mean he is no longer thinking of you.

He is probably wondering what you are doing.

He might even feel slightly lonely now; he didn’t expect you to be so unavailable; he thought you would come running back.

Show him you have got your own life

Remember that while you are busy ignoring him, you should continue to work on yourself in this time.

Continue to post all the wonderful things you are doing with your new life.

Show the fun times you are having, you; are the happy, contented, carefree woman.

That will make him even more frustrated with you and realize that you aren’t pandering to him anymore.

It will hit him that you might not care for him anymore.

He will begin to believe that you have truly moved on, and he will even have doubts that maybe dumping you wasn’t the best thing he should have done.

He’s going to do some chasing now

By this time, he might be freaking out.

He starts reaching out again, pretending nothing is wrong and saying, “I know you are ignoring me, but…”

He might even lash out at you and say cruel things.

Remember to stay calm and continue your self-improvement plan.

As you continue ignoring him, he might even vanish for a while from your phone with messages and even from your social circle of friends.

He has decided that because you ignore him, he will disappear for a while to make you feel uneasy.

That will surely make you contact him!

But you continue to ignore him, continuing to develop yourself regarding health, wealth, and relationships.

It’s all part of your self-development.

If you go on a date, take a great pic of yourself with your new date, not a big flashy pic, just a tasteful photo that will drive your ex ‘bf’ mad to think that you are simply moving on.

He will take action when he sees there is no other choice

When your ex sees that he has no choice but to win you back; he has come up against a wall; all his desperate texts to you have meant nothing to you, he will be forced to take action.

It might start with small things, but don’t get sucked in too quickly.

You have been ignoring him all this time, and one little gesture on his part with you giving in will give him great satisfaction that you do care for him after all.

He will realize that he still has you in the palm of his hand.

His idea of action has been to send you gifts and do little things to show you he means business.

But you are not going to settle for that yet.

No, what you are looking for, for now, is actual words that say, “I want you back.”

Not just once do you want to hear those words, either.

No, you will need a few positive confessions that will say it all.

You want to hear, “I miss you,” or “I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”

That type of thing.

Make sure you get a few of these to show that he means it and remains consistent.

No good if he says it once and then disappears for a while.

Why Did He Come Back? – 10 Possible Reasons

Girl missing Ex boyfriend

Now the competition is on…

As we said at the beginning, men love competition; they want to win the prize, not lose it.

If you have been successfully sticking to your no-contact rule and working on yourself, your ex will be intrigued by you again; but might believe he has lost you.

 Some other guy must surely have gotten his prize!

Your ex will be amazed at your new self-confidence, showing you have more control.

You have started bringing positivity into your own life now, and things are starting to fall into place.

You will also understand why he might come back to you from the ten reasons we will give you.

It will be up to you to decide whether you are going to take him back or not.

Let’s look at them:

1) He’s not sure it was the right choice to dump you

Lots of us are in relationships that we know are unhealthy.

When we are little, we have our parents as role models.

If they always fought, we will likely follow suit in our relationships.

Some guys run away from conflict, and they want to get out when the going gets tough in a relationship.

Sometimes a guy has unrealistic or unhealthy expectations about how a relationship should be.

He might believe that couples should never argue.

When he finds out it is not so, he opts out.

After the dust has settled after dumping you, he realizes, in his confusion, that he wants you back in his life and creeps back to you.

2) He saw that the grass wasn’t greener on the other side

They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but when you cross over, you realize it was just an optical illusion.

Maybe he tried dating other girls and found out that you weren’t such a bad catch after all – and he tries to come back to reclaim you.

3) He is testing your limits

He might not be deliberately doing this, but some guys have been known to kind of break up with their girlfriends before going on some exciting festival or concert.

Then when it’s over they return to their girlfriends because they know they will take them back, and they will just continue.

On the other hand, if he knows that you are willing to accept his bad behavior, then he knows in all likelihood, you will take him back again.

4) He is feeling guilty about what he did and wants reassurance

Maybe you made him feel like he did a terrible thing by dumping you.

Now he feels guilty and wants reassurance from you that you and he can still be friends and you will be fine.

He didn’t mean to break your heart.

But this isn’t a good reason to come back at all, especially if he is no longer in love with you.

5) The sex was good

Most guys won’t pass up sex when it comes their way; they will be willing to keep that avenue open if they can.

So bear in mind that he might not be missing you as much as he wants to come back to you to still get his sex.

6) He is lonelier, and you are doing better than him

When you become single again, some of your shared friends may fall away.

And when you start working on yourself, your life, jobs, family, and other friends, your ex will figure that you are moving on and try and come back to you so he can tap into your social world and gain some of what he has lost.

He imagined you would break into pieces and go downhill.

But you bounced back, and he is acting as if you dumped him now!

You have to seriously think if he didn’t care about you and then dumped you, why should the new you accept him back now?

Unless he dumped you through your fault, that is.

7) His new bae has dumped him, and he wants to use you as his backup plan

If your guy was a cheater, then you will understand that he might want to use you again; to go out with you until he finds other fish in the sea.

But he won’t come back, using those words to you, naturally.

No, he would rather say something like, “I have missed you like crazy!”don’t fall for it!

8) You are doing well for yourself now, and he is broke

Some guys want rich girls to boost their egos, and if you had a “poor” job before, he might have thought you were just after him for his bucks.

But the wheel turns, and if he ever loses his job, you can expect that this type of guy won’t hesitate to ask to come back to you now that you are earning and he is out in the cold. 

Yes, you get male gold diggers, which are becoming increasingly common today.

9) He’s too lazy to start with somebody else

He has started going out with friends again to meet other women.

But he knows it takes a lot of time and effort.

He wishes he didn’t have to go through all that again, even needing to change his routine before he can start cruising again.

And to conquer you back will require much less effort!

10) Friends and family keep on saying what a great couple you were

Many men highly value the opinion of their friends, family, and colleagues from work.

He has been listening to them saying what a pity the two of you broke up because you were such a fab couple.

Now he’s beginning to think he was wrong to leave you.

Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)

Do guys ever go back to their ex-girlfriends after a break-up?

The answer to that is yes. A lot of guys, though, jump right back into a new relationship after a breakup – but not necessarily for a serious relationship.

We have given you 10 reasons above why a guy does come back to you.

Sometimes it is that a guy truly is regretful and realizes he made a mistake – then he is going to try very hard to make it up to you.

Do lots of couples get back together again after a breakup – what are the percentages?

A survey was conducted by Thompsons on people in relationships, and the results showed that just 15% of people did win their ex back.

Another 14% did get back together but broke up again. 70% never reconnected again.

Is it healthy for a relationship to break up in order to save it?

No, and yes. By breaking up mutually, a couple can see if they really miss each other and are meant to be together.

But if the relationship breaks up because there is constant fighting with different ideals, it wouldn’t be helpful to break up and then get back together again.

In fact, the breakup might be a wonderful release.

Is there a way to know if your ex is still in love with you?

If you run into your ex and you find he engages with you enthusiastically; he wants to keep in touch with you again, and you do actually hear from him again.


Many guys believe they have their girls tightly wrapped around their fingers.

Now your guy has broken up with you, leaving you in literal agony.

But one day, he messages you out of the blue – he wants to come back into your life again, and for you, it feels amazing.

Then suddenly he’s gone again, and a couple of days later, you get another text …..

Right now, the ball is in your court, and it’s time for you to make the decision – to call the shots and whether you will take him back.

Have you read the ten reasons a guy returns to a girl after no contact?

Remember, he dumped you, whether it was his fault or your fault, so the decision will be yours.

Getting dumped in a relationship requires detoxing, and the best way to do it is to go cold turkey.

Start to work on yourself to become a new you, and take it from there.

Remember, that when a relationship ends, all the reasons are still there unless you decide to make some big changes.

That means you have to make things different if you want to get your ex back.

Having a no-contact period gives you clarity, new perspectives, and power.

You must get over him first if you want to get him back.

Maybe he doesn’t want to get back together with you even after the no-contact period, but you have already started your moving-on process.

Whatever your decision and the outcome it will always be in your favor because what you put in is what you will get out.

Remember that…

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”Marilyn Monroe