Why Men Come Back Months Later & What To Do When He Comes Back After No Contact

Why do men come back months later
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  • Why do men leave and come back?
  • What’s in the male mind after no contact?

You’ll get the answers to these and many more…

Sooner or later in their lives, girls will chase after guys and eventually realize, not in all cases though, that all the chasing is what drove him further away.

Then at other times, a girl will stop giving her guy the time of day, only to discover that somewhere down the line, he comes crawling back, for whatever reasons, and wants to be friends again, or even restart the relationship!

Women become devastated when men don’t fight for them because they love to feel wanted.

So when a guy breaks up with them, they react and want to chase after him.

Some women, when their guy dumps them and then comes back to them, they believe he is fighting for them.

But men don’t want yo-yo-type women; ones that run back to them every time they are dumped either.

You might not believe it, but your value very often decreases in a man’s eyes; and to them, you just come across as desperate.

Men are driven by competition

When it comes to love, men are very much driven by competition.

So if you have decided to apply the no contact rule with your boyfriend when he dumped you, you are actually causing him to have to compete to win your love again.

He won’t like it that instead of running back to him, you are now hard to get; you are ignoring him, and you are starting to work on yourself now to turn yourself into the best kind of person you can be in all aspects.

Without even maybe knowing it, you are making yourself much more attractive to your ex-boyfriend who will want to start chasing you again.

And when he sees other guys noticing you, he is going to be truly driven by competition to get you back!

He will be really upset if you are ignoring him and even more so when he notices that you have “disappeared” from his notifications without any explanation.

If you did want him back, you stand a very good chance now

You are fully aware that since you applied the no-contact rule, your boyfriend has started reaching out to you again.

But since trying to come back, you have been showing him signs that you are not interested any longer in taking him back. 

He has even been acting back in anger and jealousy. He has been texting you, asking you questions to get you to answer him back.

He has become sarcastic with you, trying to evoke pity from you. 

And when you continue ignoring him, he gets kinda panicky, and sends messages like “Why aren’t you texting me back? Hello!”

Naturally, he wants you to react.

He is playing on your emotions to try and trick you into responding to him.

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Remember though, that even with your no-contact rule which is aimed at getting your ex back, he still might not reach out to you

But don’t panic.

There are some men who are more composed than other men, and others are really stubborn.

If he doesn’t reach out to you during or after your no-contact rule, it doesn’t mean that he is no longer thinking of you.

He is probably wondering what you are doing.

He might even be feeling a little bit lonely now; he didn’t expect you to be so unavailable; he thought you would come running back.

Show him you have got your own life

Remember that while you are busy ignoring him, you should still continue to work on yourself in this time.

Still continue to post all the wonderful things you are doing with your new life.

Show the fun times you are having, you; are the happy, contented, carefree woman.

That will make him become even more frustrated with you and realize that you aren’t pandering to him anymore.

It is going to hit him that you might not actually care for him anymore.

He will begin to believe that you have truly moved on and he will even have doubts that maybe dumping you wasn’t the best thing he should have done.

He’s going to do some chasing now

By this time, he might be freaking out.

He starts reaching out again, pretending nothing is wrong and saying stuff like “I know you are ignoring me but…”

He might even lash out at you and say some cruel things to you.

Remember to stay calm and continue your self-improvement plan.

As you continue ignoring him, he might even vanish for a while from your phone with messages and even from your social circle of friends.

He has decided that because you are ignoring him, he’s going to disappear for a while to make you feel uneasy.

That will surely make you contact him!

But you continue to ignore him, continuing to develop yourself regarding, health, wealth, and relationships.

It’s all part of your self-development.

If you go on a date, take a great pic of yourself with your new date, not a big flashy pic, just a tasteful photo that will drive your ex ‘bf’ mad to think that you are simply moving on.

He will take action when he sees there is no other choice

When your ex sees that he has no other choice but to win you back; he has come up against a wall; all his desperate texts to you have meant nothing to you, he will be forced to take action.

It might start out with small things, but don’t get sucked in too quickly just yet.

You have been ignoring him all this time and one little gesture on his part with you giving in will give him great satisfaction that you do actually care for him after all.

He will realize that he does still actually have you in the palm of his hand.

His idea of action has been to send you gifts, and do little things to show you he means business.

But you are not going to settle for that yet.

No, what you are looking for now is actual words that say, “I want you back.”

Not just once do you want to hear those words either.

No, you will need a few of these positive confessions that really will say it all.

You want to hear “I miss you,” or “I’ve been thinking a lot about you.”

That type of thing.

Make sure you get a few of these to show you that he really means it and he’s remaining consistent.

No good if he says it once and then disappears for a while.

Why Did He Come Back? – 10 Possible Reasons

Girl missing Ex boyfriend

Now the competition is on…

As we said at the beginning, men do love competition; they want to win the prize, not lose it.

If you have been successful in sticking to your no contact rule successfully and you have been working on yourself, your ex will be intrigued by you again; but might believe he has lost you.

 Some other guy must surely have got his prize!

Your ex will be amazed at your new self-confidence, showing you have more control.

You have started bringing positivity into your own life now and because of this, things are starting to fall into place.

You will also be able to understand why he might be coming back to you from the 10 reasons we are going to give you.

It will be up to you to decide whether you are going to take him back or not.

Let’s look at them:

1) He’s not sure it was the right choice to dump you

Lots of us are in relationships that we know are unhealthy.

When we are little we have our parents as role models.

If they fought all the time, we are likely to follow suit in our own relationships.

Some guys run away from conflict and when the going gets tough in a relationship, they want to get out.

Sometimes a guy has unrealistic or unhealthy expectations about how a relationship should be.

He might believe that couples should never argue.

When he finds out it is not so, he opts out.

After the dust has settled after dumping you, he realizes, in his confusion, that he wants you back in his life and he creeps back to you.

2) He has seen that the grass wasn’t actually greener on the other side

They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but when you cross over, you realize it was just an optical illusion.

Maybe he tried dating other girls and found out that you weren’t such a bad catch after all – and he tries to come back to reclaim you.

3) He is testing your limits

He might not be deliberately doing this but some guys have been known to kind of break up with their girlfriends before going on some exciting festival or concert.

Then when it’s over they come back to their girlfriends because they know they will take them back and they will just continue.

On the other hand, if he knows that you are willing to accept his bad behavior, then he knows in all likelihood you will take him back again.

4) He is feeling guilty about what he did and wants reassurance

Maybe you made him feel as if he really did a terrible thing by dumping you.

Now he feels guilty and wants reassurance from you that you and he can still be friends and you will be fine.

He didn’t mean to break your heart.

But this isn’t really a good reason to come back at all, especially if he is not in love with you anymore.

5) The sex was good

Most guys won’t pass up with sex when it comes their way; they will be willing to keep that avenue open if they can.

So bear in mind that he might not be missing you so much as he wants to come back to you so that he can still get his sex.

6) He is lonelier and you are doing better than him

Sometimes when you become single again, it is possible that some of your shared friends fall away.

And when you start working on yourself, your life, jobs, family, and other friends, your ex is going to figure that you are moving on and try and come back to you so he can tap into your social world and gain some of what he has lost.

He imagined you would break into pieces and go downhill.

But you bounced back and he is the one acting as if you dumped him now!

You have to seriously think if he didn’t care about you and then dumped you, why should the new you accept him back now?

Unless he dumped you through your own fault, that is.

7) His new bae has dumped him and he wants to use you as his backup plan

If your guy was a cheater, then you will understand that he might want to use you again; to go out with until he finds other fish in the sea.

But he won’t come back, using those words to you, naturally.

No, he will rather say something like, “I have missed you like crazy!”don’t fall for it!

8) You are doing well for yourself now, and he is broke

Some guys want rich girls to boost their egos, and if you had a “poor” job before, he might have thought you were just after him for his bucks.

But the wheel turns and if he loses his job ever, you can expect that this type of guy won’t hesitate to ask to come back to you now that you are the one earning and he is out in the cold. 

Yes, you do get male gold diggers and they are becoming increasingly common today.

9) He’s too lazy to start off with somebody else

He has started going out with friends again, to meet other women.

But he knows it takes a lot of time and effort.

He wishes he didn’t have to go through all that again; even needing to change his routine before he can start cruising again.

And to conquer you back will require much less effort!

10) Friends and family keep on saying what a great couple you were

Many men value highly the opinion of their friends and family; even colleagues from work.

He has been listening to them saying what a pity the two of you broke up because you were such a fab couple.

Now he’s beginning to think it was wrong of him to leave you.

Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)

Do guys ever go back to their ex-girlfriends after a break-up?

The answer to that is yes. A lot of guys, though, jump right back into a new relationship after a breakup – but not necessarily for a serious relationship.

We have given you 10 reasons above why a guy does come back to you.

Sometimes it is that a guy truly is regretful and realizes he made a mistake – then he is going to try very hard to make it up to you.

Do lots of couples get back together again after a breakup – what are the percentages?

A survey was conducted by Thompsons on people in relationships, and the results showed that just 15% of people did win their ex back.

Another 14% did get back together but broke up again. 70% never reconnected again.

Is it healthy for a relationship to break up in order to save it?

No, and yes. By breaking up mutually, a couple can see if they really miss each other and are meant to be together.

But if the relationship breaks up because there is constant fighting with different ideals, it wouldn’t be helpful to break up and then get back together again.

In fact, the breakup might be a wonderful release.

Is there a way to know if your ex is still in love with you?

If you run into your ex and you find he engages with you enthusiastically; he wants to keep in touch with you again, and you do actually hear from him again.


Lots of guys these days believe they have their girls tightly wrapped around their fingers.

Now your guy has broken up with you, leaving you in literal agony.

But out of the blue one day, he messages you – he wants to come back into your life again, and for you, it feels amazing.

Then suddenly he’s gone again and a couple of days later, you get another text …..

Right, now the ball is in your court and it’s time for you to make the decision – to call the shots; as to whether you will take him back.

Have you read the 10 reasons a guy comes back to a girl after no contact?

Remember, he dumped you, whether it was his fault or your fault, so the decision will be yours.

Getting dumped in a relationship requires detoxing, and the best way to do it is to go cold turkey.

Start to work on yourself to become a new you, and take it from there.

Remember, that when a relationship ends, all the reasons are still there, unless you decide to make some big changes.

That means you have to make things different if you want to get your ex back.

By having a no-contact period, you give yourself clarity, new perspectives, and power.

Basically, if you want to get him back, you have to get over him first.

Maybe he doesn’t want to get back together with you even after the no contact period, but then you have already started your moving-on process.

Whatever your decision and the outcome because of it, it will always be in your favor, because what you put in, is what you will get out.

Remember that…

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”Marilyn Monroe