Around 35-45% of no-contact rules fail because the texts or phoning after the 30 days have passed hold nothing that will entice him to want to get back with you.
Maybe at this stage, he could even believe that you are still pining over him, and this is the last thing you want to get across to him after reaching out to him after the no-contact rule.
You want to show him that you have moved on, are focusing on other things, and that life is going very well for you.
4) He sees you have moved on without moving on
After a breakup, many women can display a very needy persona.
It’s the exact opposite of what made your boyfriend get attracted to you the first time.
But if you decided that you would move on and display yourself as truly happy, successful, and carefree, that way, you might well attract your ex back.
So did you move on?
Or have your 30 days just been all silent and no action to improve yourself?
In other words, if your boyfriend reaches out to you, and you meet up again, what will he find?
Will he find the same old-same-old that he dumped a month previously?
Get the pic?
5) Show him the positive side
This is one of the most important things for you to remember moving forward; positivity.
You don’t want to undo all the hard work you have put in over the last month.
No going back to the emotional, jealous, clingy version of yourself if that was you when he dumped you.
Now you have to show a powerful, confident person moving forward.
You must convey to your ex that you are changed and that your life is all together and simply amazing!
When he sees you oozing optimism and happiness, he will wonder what made him leave you in the first place!
Imagine something like this – if it’s the truth, of course!
“Hey there – you well? I’m off to Costa Rica next September, and I remembered you were there a few years back. I thought I could pick your brain a bit. Is that cool with you?”
This type of text is great because it doesn’t show that you miss your ex or anything like that.
All you are doing is reaching out because you need some information from him.
And that’s it.
Remember not to send your message at weird times of the day either – make it late afternoon or early evening.
Remember only to text him once, not on and on or demand an answer.
6) Keeping your self-control
If you’ve been playing your cards right and your ex does respond to your text message or call, then well done!
But don’t get too excited yet – don’t beg for a date with him or continue chatting. Instead, now is the time to play it cool.
If he texts you back, don’t answer back immediately.
And if it is a bit later in the evening, text him the next day if you like.
The message here is that you aren’t desperate to talk to him, despite how you feel inside.
And be direct and friendly with your texting because you don’t want to ask him feeler questions, finding out stuff so that he can see you still have the hots for him.
Remember to shine; if he asks you questions, let him know how well things have been going for you.
This way, you will pique his interest.
You need to show him at this time that you don’t care about his love life.
Another big thing to remember is not to bring up your past relationship with him.
Keep the conversation light, fun, and happy.
7) Hopefully, you will get a short meeting.
Once you’ve established this contact with your ex, if all goes well, a meeting might follow.
Maybe a short and quick coffee date is the best way to meet him.
Maybe try something like,“So can I buy you some coffee, and then you tell me more all about Costa Rica?” “I’d appreciate it, and it’ll be super quick; promise.”
Or maybe you prefer your first meeting to be with some mutual friends.
You could say something like,“Hey! I’m hosting a party this Sunday afternoon… Alex and Jay will be there. Wanna come? Then you can tell me more about Costa Rica.”
This will break the tension between you and your ex.
8) Meeting your ex
Okay, this is going to be an important day.
Remember to make it a great time without bringing up things from the past.
You’re not going to start a fight with your ex.
All you do is focus on being happy and positive and ensuring that your ex is having fun with you.
Talk about amazing things, like the trip you are planning, how you’re hitting the gym, how you are studying, or how well your work is going.
Your ex must realize how he is missing out on this amazing catch.
Naturally, you don’t want him to think you are trying to make him jealous because he might think you are trying too hard and run away again.
During your first meeting with your ex, you will want to subtly flirt with him without pushing any aggression.
You just want to have fun and build attraction with your ex again.
Some flirty tips:
Hug him for a few seconds longer than you normally would – make sure it’s meaningful and genuine.
Make solid eye contact with your ex at all times; no shifty-looking away.
Don’t be nervous to touch your ex here and there in a playful, flirty way, like playfully hitting him when he makes a joke. Or try brushing up against him “accidentally.” Make sure it seems like an accident and he doesn’t see it as an obvious play for him.
Don’t forget the humor, making subtle, playful references to some things from your past. No hinting, though! All these flirty tips will remind him of the good old days of your relationship when it was at its best. Done properly; your ex will be panting for you again!
10) Making him a bit jealous
Here a bit of clever planning and strategy will be needed to instill a bit of jealousy in your ex.
It will mean coming up with a story that lets him see you as highly sought after; maybe something at work about a colleague who keeps on asking you out or someone who won’t leave you alone that you met at a bar …. Something like that.
But you need to let your ex know that you are not sure whether you are into him anymore, leaving him wondering what kind of a chance he has again!
You can’t just come out with these stories out of the blue.
They need to be easily woven into your coffee date with him so that he feels a sense of loss after you have left.
He will probably begin chasing you for a second date, or a phone call might come the next day!
No contact is still the best strategy if your ex has dumped you.
Maybe it was all your fault, and you would love to get him back.
Often, people fail to get their exes back because they can’t keep to the 30 days of no contact.
They cut it short by still texting, begging, and pleading for their ex to take them back.
They plead, “Can’t we start over again?”
If you and your ex get back together after a breakup without applying the no-contact rule, it might work, but it might be completely unsuccessful again.
Because changes needed might well not have been discussed or made.
There is a key to getting your ex back, and that is to build attraction back again naturally.
No one wants to be ignored or blocked and blanked.
But what do you do if your ex does contact you in the no-contact period?
That doesn’t mean that you act like a jerk and refuse to do anything with him.
No, it would help if you used your brain to decide whether to respond.
You need to understand that while the no-contact rule is useful, you need to consider the implications.
But be strong and positive because ignoring the one you love won’t be easy.
It will take real power and planning to achieve no contact, but in the end, you will feel better for doing it – because you will have done it for yourself and your future success.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is going to happen after 30 days of no contact?
Once the 30 days have passed and your ex hasn’t reached out to you, then we have provided you with helpful tips on what you could do afterward.
Remember that if you have not heard from him after 30 days, it does not mean your attempts have failed.
Every breakup is different, and there are no written rules that say that 30 days is the cap. Some people apply the no-contact rule for even around 3 months.
Is 30 days no-contact too long?
Actually, 30-days no-contact is probably the minimum amount of time that you should allow to pass before coming into contact with your ex again.
Remember, you are going to be working on yourself, to improve yourself in these 30 days. Your ex should see a fabulous you if you do get together at the end of the 30 days.
It depends on everyone’s situation, and sometimes an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend might even decide to extend the no–contact rule for even more weeks; even a couple of months.
Whichever one did the breaking up is going to realize that the breakup is a bit different from what they expected.
What is the main attraction I can show my ex when I see him?
In the article, we have shown you some options to try to win your ex back. Maybe you want to try the staggered approach to contact your ex again.
Or maybe you want to extend the no-contact rule to 45 days; maybe in this time, you no longer feel you want to contact your ex anymore; you are no longer interested in him.
But if you are still into him, and after 30 days, you can’t wait to see him and chat to him again, remember the main thing now is to make it all positive – so that he cannot resist asking you for a first or second date!
But if I don’t contact him, won’t he just move on?
Yes, it is very possible that he will, but that is if he doesn’t hear from you for weeks or months on end, it is possible he will move on, possibly find someone else, and move on. See what you think.
It is possible that he will lose his feelings for me during the no-contact rule?
Yes, it is also possible. He will miss you in the same way he missed you when you were in the relationship, and it could have been consistently if he was the one who dropped you.
The purpose of the no-contact rule is to remove yourself from the pain and heartbreak from what might have been a toxic relationship. It will enable you to heal and move on with your life.
This time is about you and letting your ex see that you are capable of moving on without him. If he wants you back again, he will have to work hard to get this new happy, confident, woman back in his life.