Last updated on September 13th, 2019 at 09:55 pm

Love vs Infatuation – can you actually tell the difference?

Well, as a popular saying goes “all we need is love”.

So wouldn’t it be nice to know the kind of love we are dishing out or the one we are the recipient of?

Yes, it would!

This brings us to the case of love vs infatuation.

Love and infatuation may look similar but when checked critically, we can succinctly say both phenomena differ.

The both can be a strong emotional feeling you have towards someone, but their nature is what makes them distinct.

What is Infatuation?


The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines infatuation as a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love or interest for someone or something.

We can simply say, infatuation is that superficial feeling we experience when carried away by our emotions towards someone.

Infatuation is mostly experienced when a relationship is just blossoming and the sexual pull is very intense.

Infatuation occurs mainly due to attractiveness, toxic sexual desire with the person, accompanied by anxiety, jealousy, and lust.

One key important factor to remember when experiencing Infatuation is that rather than use your heart, your brain controls you.

What is Love?

what is true love

On the other end of the spectrum, love is a feeling of strong affection and it happens without intention or expectation.

True love is selfless and gentle.

It grows with time and may continue for a lifetime.

With true love, the feeling is mutual and there is a connection which gives you a safe and healthy haven that is good enough to raise offspring.

This gives rise to the question, “am I really in love with someone or experiencing infatuation”?

To answer this question, simply check the type of feelings you have for your partner.

If all you think about your partner is sexual attraction, then that is infatuation.

But if you think about your partner and get the feeling of comfort, then that is true love.

For most people, true love comes when they least expected it, I know this because it happened to me.

I had sworn to shut down my feelings for anyone after a bad breakup, then I had this female friend after some months; mind you, I had other female friends; but she became special due to her patience, faithfulness, respect, and loyalty to me and all these features made me develop that feeling for her and in no time, we were in love.

Infatuation would have been me attracted to her physical beauty and my desire to fulfill my lust which may be fostered by emotions which in turn is not real but may look intense at that moment.

So, if you are still finding it hard to differentiate between love and infatuation, some notable differences which are highlighted below should help you decide which you have been experiencing.

21 Ways to Tell Between True Love and Infatuation

So let’s get right into it and demystify both.

Are you ready?

If so, let’s get started…

1) Love is a gradual process, but infatuation happens suddenly

true love

Love as said earlier takes time to blossom and during the process of taking your time to figure out your emotions, some distinct features such as trust and hope sets in.

And sometimes physical features and characters or traits in your partner may differ, but you will eventually find a way of understanding them without losing your standards.

While Infatuation, on the other hand, is sudden, and everything about the whole chemistry is for the present moment.

This breeds anxiety and jealousy if you don’t get a quick response from them or see them with people of the opposite gender.

2) Love is deep, infatuation is superficial

lovely couples

I don’t think this needs any further lecture when you are in love with someone.

It becomes hard to break and it’s a true sign.

There will definitely be times you will need to work on your differences, but due to the strong bond between you two, you will be ready to work it out.

In a nutshell, true love cannot be switched off like an electric outlet.

While with infatuation the feelings and emotions can quickly turn off.

It could be due to the things they said or did that killed the vibe in you.

And when that happens, you need no soothsayer to tell you it’s infatuation you are experiencing.

3) Love grows stronger with time but infatuation is ephemeral.

Love may not necessarily have to be forever before you can decide if it is real or not, this is due to the fact that people change, but if you are ready to grow together with time, you will discover that love is on the increase.

While Infatuation at the initial stage may sweep you off your feet and look like something that will last forever, allow me to tell you, it is just for a while.

The feeling gradually recedes with time due to the fact that you were only attracted to the person and once that attraction begins to decline, the feelings decline also and before you the feeling is gone.

 4) Infatuation is mainly physical, love is more than that.

Many a time we can’t explain why we fall in love with a particular person.

Love may involve some level of physical attractiveness but it may not necessarily be the main reason for the feeling.

The feeling may be due to emotional compatibility that exists between both parties that gives rise to the bonding.

In the real sense of it, infatuation starts with physical engagement and attraction and may fail to go beyond it, as the drive may fade off once they wear a new look or look different.

5) Love grows with distance but Infatuation fades out with it.

With true love, distance is not a barrier, as it makes the feeling stronger and strengthened.

While infatuation fades out with distance.

Once you are distant from the person you are infatuated with, it can make that feeling weak and die off; simply because the feeling is not from your heart but from your brain and once you do not see the person, you begin to forget them.

6) Love is genuine, infatuation has an alternative motive.

With true love, everything you feel or do for the person is for a genuine reason and without any other motive.

Unlike infatuation where the reason for doing something is to gain one’s benefit or the other.

7) Love is real while infatuation is fantasy.

With true love, the whole feeling will be real without an iota of doubts whatsoever.

You will be ready to work on your differences and sort things out.

Also falling in love with someone may not be based on physical features such as height, beauty or color, it is a thing of the heart.

With true love, everything is natural.

While infatuation, on the other hand, is all about fantasy and imagination, because it is based on physical appearance and looks.

8) Love is considerate, infatuation is self-centered.

Love or Infatuation

True love considers the needs of the other person before superimposing your wishes and needs on them.

True love makes you consider the need of the other person as just as important as yours.

While infatuation makes everything seem about you.

You become less considerate and selfish and if your wishes are not attended to, it can make you lose interest and wear off the emotions you think you have.

9) Love is obligated, infatuation gives excuses.

With true love, you feel obligated to that person and you are ready to put in efforts to make things work out for both of you in case there are issues.

Trust me there will always be issues and only true love will make you stay committed to iron things out.

Infatuation, on the other hand, can make you easily switch feelings when there is a slight issue and gradually lose interest.

The issue could be what you heard about them and that makes you kill what you have for them.

10) Love is not jealous, infatuation is.

Couple Showing Affection_by_the_riverside

When you sincerely love someone, it will be easy to trust them and once trust is evident, there is no room for jealousy.

True love does not suspect the other person or does it breed insecurity.

Infatuation makes you jealous and this is very evident in relationships ignited by infatuation.

One party begins to suspect and this can make the feelings dwindle and die off.

11) Love is mutual, infatuation is one-sided.

True love is a mutual feeling that occurs between two active people.

Unlike infatuation which is quite demanding and one-sided.

The other party is mostly passive due to the fact that they are not aware of the other person’s intention towards them.

12) Love overlooks flaws, infatuation thrives on perfection.

Another thing to check out for if you want to know if what you feel is true love or infatuation is your perspective of your partner’s flaws.

True love accepts and overlooks the flaws of the person and in special cases, if such flaws can be corrected, they suggest the solutions with affection and not superimposing it on their partner.

Sometimes it could be the flaws in them that may make you love them more.

While infatuation, on the other hand, is based on perfection and pretense.

The perfection issue may be from your end by trying to impress them.

It could also be that you always want them to be perfect and in so doing, you overdo it and when they let you know about it, you tend to become agitated and sad.

13) Love forgives, infatuation holds grudges.

There is a popular saying “the final form of love is forgiveness”.

One of the basic things to check out for is the ability to forgive easily when arguments and fights come up.

If you truly love someone you will be quick to forgive easily, whereas infatuation will make you hold grudges and complain every time an issue comes up.

14) Love is monogamous, Infatuation is not.

Couple Holding Hands

True love can only exist between two people, and anything other than that is not true love.

You cannot be in love with two people at the same time and any school of thought contrary to this opinion is wrong.

Infatuation, on the other hand, can occur between two or more persons at a time.

You cannot claim you love someone and have other people you are having feelings for.

Hence, it is safe to say that infatuation is having multiple feelings for more than one person at a particular time.

15) Love will not distract you, infatuation will.

True love will;

  • Make you keep track of your activities and even allow you to create time for yourself.
  • Allow you to cope with work.
  • Improve you and advise you on how to schedule your plans.
  • And may help out with some tasks if the need be.

Infatuation, on the other hand, is draining, it makes you spend almost your whole day with them and in the process, you might neglect your own duty and activity.

16) Love corrects, infatuation endures.

couple holding themselves

If you love someone, their welfare will become your concern even without their approval.

If they involve in what may turn out to be harmful to them, you will be ready to correct the person.

Unlike infatuation where everything you do is to please the person.

This leads to pretense when they do something that is bad, and instead for you to correct them, you act as if you are ok with it.

17) Love makes sacrifices, infatuation does not.

Another feature to watch out for in noting the difference between love and infatuation is sacrifice making.

When you are in love with someone, making sacrifices for them will be done without hesitation.

The sacrifices may be done out of pure intention without expecting them to do the same for you even if the tables were turned.

But if you are infatuated about a person, making sacrifices will be a very hard thing to do for them simply because you know the feeling is not strong enough.

18) Love does not give up, infatuation does.

When you love someone, you are ready to fight for the relationship to stay strong no matter how the circumstance may be.

You will always fight for love.


With infatuation, it will be very easy to end things simply because all you care for is your ego.

With true love, there is no ego.

19) Love cares, infatuation impresses.

True love looks for the welfare of the other partner.

When someone you claim to love is in a dire need, trying to impress them will not be your aim, rather your aim will be to solve the problem they find themselves at that particular point in time because you feel once a problem affects them you are indirectly affected.

Infatuation, on the other hand, is concerned about showing off when trying to help.

The main and primary reason behind caring is just to impress – the second reason is to just to help.

20) Love is not blind, infatuation is.

Another point to be corrected is the general saying “love is blind”.

Love is not blind, infatuation is.

When you claim you love someone, you do not ignore the bad in that person.

But rather try to correct and work things out with them.

It is a very dangerous thing to ignore the bad aspect of a person simply because you love them, it is a toxic act and may, in turn, come back to haunt you.

Infatuation, on the other hand, turns a blind eye on the person’s bad side even when family and friends keep pointing them out.

You are infatuated if all you see is perfection in a person.

21) Infatuation is destructive, love is not.

True love facilitates what is good for you; ranging from self-development, ambition and a room for improvement.

While infatuation on another hand has a negative effect which can make you forget about the reality of life.

In Conclusion…

It will be fair for me to say that it is not bad for two people to be infatuated with each other, inasmuch as they understand the type of relationship that exists between them.

We have seen many TV shows and movies and might have realized why many confuse love with infatuation.

What we see in most romantic movies is all infatuation – meeting someone and having an immediate strong connection.

Regrettable, they mostly call it love and it is a misleading view.

Most people now base their relationship on such a scripted scene.

It will not be shocking to say most of us have experienced infatuation at a stage of our lives especially when we were teens or in our early twenties.

Most times it requires some painful experience before we can decipher how true love feels like.

I personally discovered the difference between true love and infatuation not until the latter years of my life, yours may not be the case but once the grip of real love holds you, you will definitely know the difference.

By and large, true love grows and blossom with time and distance, but infatuation grows weak with time and may die a natural death once distance sets in.

So if you are not certain or sure of your feelings towards someone, it is best to take things slow and give it time.

If it is true love, it will grow with time.

But if it is infatuation, it’ll rapidly fade off.

Further Reading…

111 Newlywed Game Questions For Friends

50 Quotes About Relationships That’ll Spice Up Your Relationship

55 Fun Questions To Ask A Girl

How to Tell if a Girl Likes You