101 Texas Jokes to Keep You Laughing

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Written By John Simon

John Simon is renowned for his witty and humorous content creation.

Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Someone told him to “get a long little doggie”! Everything’s bigger in Texas, and that includes the humor.

From the Panhandle to the Gulf Coast, the Lone Star State is not just a place—it’s a state of mind, brimming with larger-than-life characters and a unique cultural flair that makes it ripe for some good-natured jesting.

Whether you’re a true Texan or just someone who appreciates a hearty chuckle about cowboy hats and cattle ranching, these jokes are sure to hit the mark.

In this roundup, we’ve lassoed together 101 Texas jokes that capture the spirit of this great state.

From the quirky ways of life in its small towns to the bustling streets of its big cities, Texas provides a vast landscape of comedic material.

These jokes traverse the range from classic cowboy quips to playful pokes at Texas pride.

So, saddle up for a ride through a collection of humor as wide and welcoming as the Texas sky itself.

89 Funny Jokes About Texas

1) Why don’t Texas cowboys ever cry? Because they have Texas-sized tear ducts.

2) How do you know if someone is from Texas? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.

3) What’s a Texas ghost’s favorite snack? BOOrritos from San Antonio.

4) Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Someone told him to get a long little doggie!

5) How does a Texan keep their house cool? They open the windows and let the wind of change blow in.

6) Why don’t secrets last in Texas? Because they’re as big as the state itself!

7) What’s the most popular dance in Texas? The “Steer” dance.

8) Why did the Texan talk to his cattle? Because it was a ‘moo’-ving experience.

9) What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

10) Why was the Texas map upset? It had too many ‘Plano’ spots.

11) How do you make holy water in Texas? You boil the hell out of it in Houston heat.

12) Why are there no secrets in Texas? Because the prairies have big ears.

13) What do you call an outlaw who steals gift cards in Dallas? A mall rat.

14) How do Texas frogs say goodbye? “See y’all later, alligator.”

15) What’s a Texan’s favorite type of car? A “cattle”-lac.

16) Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? To get a “longhorn”.

17) Why don’t Texas cows use cell phones? Because they fear the call of the wild.

18) How do Texans play poker? With a full “house” of representatives.

19) What’s a Texan’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline, y’all.

20) Why did the Texan sit on the clock? To be on “Lone Star Time”.

21) What do you call a Texan who loves small towns? A “Village” person.

22) Why did the armadillo cross the road? To show he had the guts.

23) How do you know if a cowboy is friendly? He gives you a big “howdy”.

24) What’s a cowboy’s favorite pizza? BBQ brisket on thin “crust”.

25) Why did the Texan buy a boat? To “Gulf” around.

26) Why don’t Texas chickens play sports? They’re afraid of the “fowl” ball.

27) What do you call an artistic Texan? A “draw”-ling cowboy.

28) Why did the Texan write a book? To say something “novel”.

29) What do Texans eat for breakfast? “Amarillo” eggs.

30) Why did the cowboy go to art school? To learn how to “drawl”.

31) How do Texans decorate their homes? With “Austin-tatious” style.

32) Why did the cowboy ride his horse to town? Because it was too tired to walk.

33) What do Texans use to wash their cars? “Houston” water.

34) Why did the cowboy bring a duck to the rodeo? He wanted to see a “duck-umentary”.

35) What’s a Texan’s favorite type of music? “Range”-rock.

36) Why did the cowboy buy a chameleon? He wanted a “range” animal.

37) What’s a Texas cow’s favorite movie? The “Graze” Escape.

38) Why are Texas trees so wise? They’re full of “forest”-sight.

39) How do you write a book about Texas? With a “Lone Star”-t.

40) Why did the Texan become a chef? He liked to “steak” his claim.

41) Why did the Texan refuse to play chess? He didn’t want to lose his “horse”.

42) What’s a Texan’s favorite insect? The “beaumont”-le.

43) Why do Texans make good judges? They have great “Southern” justice.

44) Why did the cowboy become a gardener? To grow “range”-roses.

45) How do Texans stay cool? By standing in the “Amarillo” of the room.

46) Why did the cowboy go to space? To see the “star”-studded sky.

47) Why do Texans love puzzles? They’re always “lone-star”-ting them.

48) What’s a cowboy’s favorite subject? “Ranch”-algebra.

49) Why did the Texan refuse to play baseball? He didn’t want to “mess with” Texas.

50) Why are Texas jokes the best? Because they’re as big as the state!

51) How do you make a Texan omelette? With “egg-spansion” room.

52) Why did the cowboy bring a map to the bar? To find the best “route” beer.

53) What’s a Texan’s favorite kind of dog? A “Collie”-station.

54) Why did the cowboy wear a tutu? He was in a “rodeo” ballet.

55) What’s a Texan’s favorite kind of doughnut? A “Round Rock” doughnut.

56) Why don’t Texans get lost? They have a “sixth sense” of direction.

57) What do Texans do when they’re cold? They put on a “Frisco” jacket.

58) Why did the cowboy go to the doctor? He had a “rodeo” injury.

59) How do Texans write love letters? With “deep in the heart” felt words.

60) What’s a Texan’s favorite board game? “Alamo”-nopoly.

61) Why did the cowboy buy a Tesla? He wanted an “electric horse”.

62) What do you call a sleepy Texan? A “yawn” star.

63) Why did the cowboy refuse to shave? He wanted a “brush” face.

64) What’s a cowboy’s favorite snack? “Trail” mix.

65) Why did the Texan go to the moon? To find a new “frontier”.

66) How do Texans celebrate birthdays? With a big “Lone Star” party.

67) Why did the cowboy become a poet? He had a way with “words”.

68) What do Texans call a ghost town? A “spook”-ane place.

69) Why did the cowboy get a cat? For “com-paw-nionship”.

70) What’s a Texan’s favorite fruit? A “peach” of Texas.

71) Why did the Texan go to the beach? To “surf” the Gulf.

72) How do Texans say goodbye? “See y’all soon!”

73) Why did the cowboy buy a boat? To “row”-deo on the river.

74) What do Texans do when they’re happy? They do a “Lone Star” dance.

75) Why did the cowboy become a baker? He loved “bread”-ing horses.

76) What’s a Texan’s favorite flower? A “bluebonnet”.

77) Why did the Texan join the choir? He had a “deep” voice.

78) What’s a cowboy’s favorite weather? “Sunny” with a chance of rodeo.

79) How do Texans relax? With a “longhorn” book.

80) Why did the cowboy go to the museum? To see the “art” of Texas.

81) What do Texans do for fun? They have a “barbeque” bash.

82) Why did the cowboy buy an electric guitar? To play “Texas” blues.

83) What’s a Texan’s favorite candy? “Alamo”-nd joy.

84) Why did the cowboy go to the gym? To get “rodeo” fit.

85) How do Texans celebrate Thanksgiving? With a “turkey” two-step.

86) Why did the Texan refuse to use GPS? He trusted his “instincts”.

87) What do Texans drink in the morning? “Houston” blend coffee.

88) Why did the cowboy join the band? To play the “drums”.

89) What’s a Texan’s favorite type of cake? “Texas” sheet cake.

90) Why did the cowboy become a fisherman? He loved the “Gulf”.

91) How do Texans stay cool in summer? With “fan”-tastic air.

92) Why did the cowboy go to the dance? For a “two-step” challenge.

93) What’s a Texan’s favorite musical? “Dallas” the musical.

94) Why did the cowboy become a carpenter? He was good with “wood”.

95) How do Texans travel? In “style” and comfort.

96) Why did the cowboy go to the opera? For the “drama”.

97) What’s a Texan’s favorite drink? “Sweet” tea.

98) Why did the cowboy go to the library? For “book”-keeping.

99) How do Texans say hello? “Howdy, partner!”

100) Why did the cowboy go to the rodeo? For the “bull”-riding.

101) What’s a Texan’s favorite type of chocolate? A “Lone Star” bar.

Conclusion

We’ve just had a grand ol’ time exploring the quirky and humorous side of Texas through 101 jokes that are as unique and vibrant as the state itself.

From cowboy quips to playful puns about the Lone Star lifestyle, this collection is a testament to the fun-loving spirit that defines Texas.

Whether you’re a proud Texan or simply someone who appreciates a good laugh, we hope these jokes brought a smile to your face and a chuckle to your day.

Texas is more than a place on the map; it’s a state of heart, where humor and warmth go hand in hand.

So, the next time you’re sharing stories or jokes with friends, remember to throw in a Texas twist!

And if you’ve got a Texas joke of your own, we’d love to hear it. Share your best ones in the comments, and let’s keep the Texas spirit alive and laughing.

Remember, in Texas, we don’t just tell jokes; we tell stories that bring us together.

So, keep laughing, keep sharing, and as we say in Texas, “Y’all come back now, ya hear?”