Most people who go through a break-up, whether an amicable one or a nasty one, will know that it can be a pretty intense emotional roller coaster ride.
It must have caused pain to you and shock at the abrupt separation.
Then you have to prepare for the questions about what went wrong and the sadness you experienced.
The healing process is not easy either; it has its own ups and downs.
And then, when you just start to feel like you are becoming balanced again, you get a text message from your ex – or your friends or his friends have let you know that he wants you back.
Now, what must you do?
Of course, no one can tell you what you have to do, but there are a few things you can take into consideration while you make up your mind about what to do.
Have you ever wondered why he might want you back after you broke up – what has happened to make him change his mind?
Often a breakup happens when someone is under heaps of stress and they kind of feel like they are drowning in all that’s going on.
They ended the relationship to find peace.
Then they realized that it wasn’t really the relationship that had caused such stress and problems.
He broke up with you, but now he is regretting his actions and wants you back.
Your ex could actually want you back for quite a few reasons, but won’t admit it.
If you are interested in getting back together with him again, you would both need to understand what went wrong in the relationship, what you both want into the future, and how you are going to work through stuff together.
And you, can you forgive your ex for his wrongdoings?
Because you need to know that without forgiving him, your relationship won’t reach its full potential.
If you harbor resentment it can only damage the relationship.
Perhaps your ex won’t admit he wants you back.
But you can see signs that something is up the ways he goes out of his way to talk to you and spend time with you.
He won’t ask you out again because he is testing the water.
Remember it’s easy to take someone back.
The hard part is holding on to the relationship and ensuring that you don’t end up like the last time.
If you do take him back, you need to be sure that he has made the right improvements that make him equipped to deal with problems when they arise.
Personal growth is vital for both of you. Both partners need to be active in keeping the ‘new’ relationship going.
Both of you need to help each other to reach their full potential to make the relationship fulfilling again.
If you want a step-by-step, hands-on approach on how to get him to commit to you and ‘worship’ you, there are very few courses out there that’ll help you do so.
But my favorite and the one many relationship experts recommend is Make Him Worship You by Michael Fiore.
Michael Fiore has helped thousands of ladies to get their men to commit to them. His techniques have worked wonders on even the most commitment-phobic, cold men.
So make sure to check it out. It might just be the best money you spent this year.
How to Tell if He Wants You Back? Signs He Wants to Get Back Together
He won’t admit it because he is afraid that you might not feel the same way he does anymore, and he might fear rejection.
But pay close attention to the way he behaves in your presence.
His body language will reveal his true feelings.
He might not want to tell you about his feelings, but you won’t miss his actions – they are reflections of what is going on in his mind.
Even though your ex might be avoiding telling you directly what’s going on in his mind, he won’t be able to hide his body language from you.
1) Getting back in touch
He is reaching out to you again because he misses you; it’s as simple as that.
This is a top sign your ex wants you back.
And if you like hearing from him again, he will become regular with it almost like you are back to square one; without you even noticing it.
By constantly being in touch with you, your ex is becoming a part of your life again which is his primary goal.
But is it yours?
2) He will be recalling the old times
If you still happen to be in touch with your ex, recalling old times with you is a sign that things are not quite over between you.
He will remind you of the happy memories.
He will try and make you laugh over the good times; awakening the feelings of love you had towards him during those times.
3) He’s still desperate for your attention
Maybe you have noticed how hard your ex tries to get your attention.
That’s an excellent sign he wants you back in his life.
Sometimes it seems as if he is even a bit desperate.
But that’s because he doesn’t want to admit to you that he still has strong feelings for you.
He will be desperate to somehow capture your attention.
4) He brings up ‘what if’ questions
He won’t admit he has feelings for you, but he wants you back if he is asking you ‘what if’ questions.
He wants to try and fix the problems of the past and try and make it right with you into the future.
He wants you to imagine him in your future again.
5) He reminds you of how you were once were each other’s right hand
He sends you texts reminding you that he is still there for you when you are battling with stuff.
He reminds you of the times you were there for each other through thick and thin, helping each other.
That is a sure sign you are on his mind.
If he had moved on, he wouldn’t be reminding you of how close you once were.
You might also feel the tug to reminisce with him, but be careful that you are on the forward path; not reversing.
6) You notice that you see him wherever you go
Suddenly your world got a bit smaller and you are noticing your ex in a lot of places that you frequent.
It could be that he wants to know how you are moving forward; if you do the same things you used to.
Maybe he is at the same parties that you were invited to.
It could be very careful planning on his part because he still hasn’t gotten over you.
It might be, too, that he just wants to show off in front of you just how well he is doing without you.
7) He’s acting a lot like a wounded puppy
You have checked your ex’s social media pages – you have noticed that he is showing signs of moodiness and misery lately, looking like he needs some TLC.
It might be that he wants everyone to see that he is the “victim” in the breakup and looking for consolation.
But he could be specifically looking for your attention and he’s not sure how to show it to you.
8) He has hooked up with a new girlfriend very fast
You have seen him with a new woman on his arm.
It might have been hard for you to see that he looks so happy.
But don’t be fooled just yet.
There are a few reasons this might be.
He hasn’t stopped caring for you, but he has decided to throw himself into a new relationship to avoid the distress and fallout feeling when he thinks of you.
He wants to fill up the emotional void.
9) He’s drunk-dialing or texting you
Drinking makes you lose your normal inhibitions and can cause you to reveal some thoughts and feelings you wouldn’t normally reveal in sober hours.
If your ex is firing off some emotional and drunk calls or texts, you might want to think about what he is trying to say.
Alcohol does make people more emotional, so you will have to decide if your ex’s messages carry weight or not.
10) He’s mad at you
He is antagonistic towards you.
You notice that each time he talks to you; he wants to fight, unable to hold a normal conversation.
Or just out of the blue he becomes irritable and resentful with you.
If you notice this behavior in him, it could be a hint that he still holds unresolved feelings on his side.
Remember that whether you are still interested in him or not, you might have to still plod through what could be some tough exchanges to get to the other side.
Remember to take care of yourself, not allowing yourself to be sucked into endless back-and-forth conversations with him.
11) He wants to show off his fab new life to you
If a person is confident in their life, it wouldn’t be necessary to rub it in other people’s faces.
If your guy is splashing his social media with glamorous pics of him with beautiful women, visiting party after party, and showcasing his glamorous lifestyle, it could be that these actions spring from his pain.
He might be desperately showing you that he is not the “lost” one in the breakup.
12) His friends have become interested in your life suddenly
Friends of his; ones who didn’t particularly show much interest in your life before have suddenly become very curious about it.
They are interested in how you are doing and looking to see if you have moved on or showing interest in a new guy.
No doubt, your ex has sent his friends to find out stuff.
He wants to keep tabs on you – be careful what you say to mutual friends because personal stuff is sacred.
Only share if you are interested in getting back with your ex, otherwise don’t confide anything to them.
13) He has started checking in with you
You have noticed that he says “how are you doing?” quite a bit, probably trying to strike up a conversation with you.
It’s the conversation starter that can take a relationship quite a bit further, and deeper.
If your ex is doing this, it’s a good clue that he still thinks of you.
Sometimes this kind of reaching out is a need for comfort and shows you that your ex might not be doing so well without you – he can’t get over you yet.
14) He’s become a green-eyed monster now that you are happy
You might post a pic of you on social media with another guy – immediately you get a text wanting to find out who is the guy you are with!
Maybe you are at a party where your ex is and he suddenly comes from nowhere when you are chatting with another guy.
You will never know whether your happiness is his loss and he is acting and looking like the reject now, or whether it is true regret that he has lost out on your company.
But he might never admit to you that he is unhappy not to have you in his life anymore.
15) He’s on a self-improvement journey
Have you noticed that your ex has made some dramatic changes to his life?
Suddenly he is taking up the gym, or you see him at the juice bars sipping kale and beetroot juices – he’s counting his macronutrients.
Maybe he’s putting streaks in his hair and looking trendier.
Maybe the stuff he was talking to you about in the future that he wanted to do, he is doing them now and he wants you to notice.
Sometimes people make these superficial changes, and call it the “new me”, but they are just temporal “hurt’ actions.
Sometimes people take notice of things they might have caused wrong in a relationship and they are determined to turn things around for the good of their partner after a breakup.
If it’s your ex and he is working on stuff that you complained about while you were dating, then he’s still into you.
16) He’s not dating anyone at all even though it’s been some time since you broke up
Is it because he is hoping you two will get back together?
Nobody likes to be on their own and alone for too long, particularly guys.
When he chooses to stay single and avoid the dating scene, it could be that he is still missing you and hoping you two still stand a chance.
Sometimes it’s just plain hard to put yourself out there on the dating game again and maybe he doesn’t believe, right now, that anybody will compare to you.
17) He still keeps in contact with your family and friends
These bonds were probably very meaningful to him before your breakup.
Sometimes when a guy maintains communication with the family of his ex, it’s because he’s having a hard time letting go.
He might find comfort in talking to the people who love you and know you best and maybe he is hoping that they will fill him in with all the news about you.
18) He’s disappeared like he’s fallen off the map
Some men cope with overwhelming feelings by shutting themselves off from the rest of the world; holing themselves off somewhere far away.
Some start afresh somewhere where nobody knows them.
If the isolation days are rolling into weeks it might be that he didn’t want anybody to see how he was really struggling.
That could be a sign that he is mourning you and is battling to move forward from you.
19) He is doing things that you wanted to do
Remember that time that you told him you wanted to go hot air ballooning.
The next time you look; you hear he has gone flying high in a hot air balloon.
Or that time you wanted to travel to Egypt?
When you browse his social media pages, there he is, waving through the screen from alongside the pyramids!
It might be to make you sorry for what you are missing out on, you never know, but it could be because he wants you to see him doing the things the two of you were supposed to do together.
20) His body language still says he longs for you
That’s one part of the body that doesn’t lie.
When he is around you, you will easily be able to detect just from his body language whether he is still into you or not.
Check out his eye contact and whether he avoid you or not when in your space.
You will notice the “I want you back” messages!
21) He’s still protective of you
Is your ex still checking up on you and making sure you are OK even though you have broken up?
Even if it is via texting, it’s these little signs that show you that you are still a priority to him.
Even though women don’t need heroes in their lives anymore, the fact of the matter is that men still like to believe that they are the hero and have the protective instinct in them
22) He still acts awkward around you
Remember there is a fine line between being awkward because he knows he did you wrong and feeling guilty.
If he is guilty about the breakup he will probably avoid you and be embarrassed, sheepish, and even rude in your presence.
But if he is awkward in a sweeter, anxious way, polite way, it’s probably because he still likes you but won’t admit it to you – maybe he is nervous you will reject him in public.
23) He expresses happiness at your achievements and growth
He compliments you about stuff still or congratulates you on some achievement you might have made.
He might even tell you that he can see how much you have changed, saying it with much respect and admiration.
So if your ex is giving you positive compliments or showing his happiness about your successes, it’s a good sign that he is thinking positively about you.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Does my ex really want me back or isn’t he just being friendly?
The truth of the matter is, if your ex is being friendly to you, it won’t mean he wants you back necessarily.
It might only mean that he still has warm feelings for you, but is not interested in getting back together.
If you do want him back from believing that he still has feelings for you, you will have to feel sexual attraction, romantic love, and respect for each other to start a new relationship again. Check out these real case studies.
Are there signs to notice that your ex still loves you?
If you were to run into your ex and he enthusiastically chats with you for a long time, that’s a good sign.
Or he still texts you and finds out how you are.
Another sign he still has feelings for is if he is still in contact with other members of your family, even after you have separated.
How would I know that my ex is actually over me and moving on?
His communication with you is getting less and less.
His interactions with you are fewer and less fun.
He is no longer awkward with you and almost bored.
He has become serious with someone else.
You don’t get messages anymore.
As we said before, breakups aren’t easy.
Thinking about that person; that they might never be in your life again can really crush you, especially if you do still have feelings for them.
Sometimes if you did the breaking up, you might wonder if you made a big mistake.
And if you and your boyfriend broke up, all you can think about is whether he still has any feelings for you or not.
Because one minute you saw he had blocked you off Facebook, and then the following week he sent you drunken text messages telling you how much he still cares for you!
Well, we have given you 23 signs that he might just still have feelings for you, which means that if you still want him back, it is highly possible that you could get back together again as a team.
If you have read through the list and realized that, yes, your ex does still have feelings for you, don’t just jump back in all too quickly.
Remember, your relationship ended for a reason. You need to solve the problems first.
Otherwise, you’re just back to square one.
If you got the gist from the breakup that he really is gone and is not likely to come back, don’t take it too hurtfully.
It’s your time to check where you believe you were at fault, fix your side up to become the best person of who you were, and then take it from there.
Because if you are willing to make the necessary changes and really improve on yourself, then the world is your oyster and it’s got many exciting people and opportunities waiting for you with open arms!!