23 Signs He Regrets Breaking Up With You and Hurting You

Signs he regrets breaking up with you

I get the following questions or permutations of these questions almost every day;

  • Will my boyfriend regret losing me?
  • When does a man realize he lost you?
  • Does he regret hurting me?
  • Will my husband regret breaking up with me?

So, as usual, I’ve decided to create a comprehensive article about it instead of staying up all night answering these questions.

So let’s get started…

Things happened, and your partner broke up with you.

That’s life.

There are certain things in life you have no control over. 

By the way, months have passed since he broke up with you, and you’ve moved on (or are on the verge of doing so), and all of a sudden…

…you begin to notice some strange behaviors from him.

You ask yourself; Could it be that this man regrets breaking up with me? If so, how do I know?

That’s what this article is all about…

The following are 23 possible signs that your ex regrets breaking up with you.

Also Check Out: What Do Boys Like In Girls?

What Will I Learn?

23 Signs Your Guy Regrets Losing You

Look out for the following signs;

1) He keeps to himself and is sober after the breakup

If you’ve been into each other, your ex would miss you and regret breaking up with you if he took the decision too quickly.

On the flip side, he may regret losing you and still thinks it’s more of your fault that you’re no longer together.

Your ex may still remember what he misses about you and withdraw from making social contact.

The emotional effect of being sober after losing someone special is normal. But an intense energy-draining emotional response also follows.

It is worth noting that a loss of emotional control might even be worse.

More often than not, a breakup with a loved one will be stressful, and the complex biochemical reactions in the brain can affect your ex’s well-being.

Did You Know?
According to Fisher 2004 and Frascella 2010 studies, the same areas of the brain associated with drug cravings are highly active in a person who has just broken up with a romantic partner.

2) You may notice signs that he’d been crying in private

Guys are tough emotionally, right?

But we cry too.

Your ex may show signs that he’d been grieving over the end of your relationship.

Signs may include;

  • Changes in the voice
  • Discoloration of the eyes and a bit of bulge.

The body leaves these signs on your ex so that he can fix his well-being.

This might not be a common sign to spot because crying is socially believed to be a weakness (not in all cultures though).

And guys are not supposed to show weakness in public (at least not all guys). But you can see a lot from his facial expressions and body language.

3) Your husband may look bewildered when he suddenly makes contact with you

When your ex contacts you unexpectedly, he may have a mystifying expression on his face.

Expect a surprised look on his face followed by withdrawal and body language that depicts disappointment.

You may not be able to quickly detect the mixed feelings that your ex will express when you are close to each other again.

But you’ll likely notice the awkward confusion he experiences about what to do on seeing you, especially if you were recently separated.

Within split seconds, he may have thought about running to hug you or something and then is cut out at the moment.

Or he gets entrapped in thoughts about the past pleasures you shared and the withdrawal he has to maintain now that you both are not together anymore.

He may simply shake it off, but you can tell he is hurt inside for breaking up with you.

Sometimes the moment of regret comes to him weeks later when he realizes he made a huge mistake in letting you go.

4) He may be seen playing miss-you songs all the time with his headphones on

Music has a huge impact on our lives.

When experiencing emotions of hurt or regrets, your ex may seek some genre of music that is soothing and calm.

Music like “Let Her Go” and songs that show that he misses a special person in his life – you, would be his anthem.

You’ll notice a different attitude to music consumption even if he’s a music person.

5) He’ll Try to Do all the things he should have done

Watch out for this sign because it consists of many signs.

After he must have realized he’d made a mistake in breaking up with you…

…If he wants you back, he’ll start doing all sorts of things a regular boyfriend would do.

His reactionary play to get you back as soon as possible before you slip into another guy’s arms could be epic.

He may do things like;

  • Protect you from going out with other guys
  • He’d try to hold your hands and become aggressively attracted to you
  • He’ll try to impress you both in public and in private like he never did before
  • He’ll give you more time and attention
  • Send gifts for you

The number of possible gestures a guy can make after breaking up with you and trying to get back is endless.

This can be seen in a quick or gradual change in behavior.

Also Read: 21 Signs Your Ex Will Come Back After Break Up

6) He Sends You Streams of Texts

He may text a series of messages to your phone or PM/DM you on social media. His texts can come in various forms.

  • I miss you texts
  • Interrogator texts
  • Begging: He may say, “please pick up my calls.” “Can we have lunch at Just Eat Restaurants,? Let’s talk please.”
  • Clear regrets texts
  • Nice guy SMSes
  • Apologies
  • Check-ups: Keep him in your mind.
  • Dating status like; “I’m not seeing anyone yet”

His texting can give you all the clues you need to know if he regrets leaving you and what he wants from you.

More often than not, he’ll miss you but you cannot be assured of his motive when he only texts you.

7) A phone call out of the blue

Guy making a phone call

A call means he’s still thinking about you.

You’ll be able to tell from the conversation that he regrets breaking up with you and can tell from his tone over the phone that he’s remorseful.

So the phone call may be a positive sign or a neutral sign.

It’s also likely that he’ll call after a long while when he’s tried seeing other girls, and things didn’t work out well.

This could be an obvious sign when he has a significant life-changing experience that could have been different from you in his life.

A possible change in his life could be;

  • He’s got a new girlfriend
  • He’s relocating…
  • He’s going on a vacation with someone else
  • Dates didn’t end as expected

When we reflect on the past, we may have some regrets, especially after experiencing or doing things that are not easy to undo.

So this is precisely what’s happening to your ex-boyfriend

8) Wanting to be friends with you

Perhaps a reaction from your ask might be gestures suggesting that he would have wished to turn back the hands of time.

Sometimes when your ex thinks about the changes he’s experienced, he’ll realize that he made a mistake.

The next impulse might be to ask you to just be friends with him again.

9) He changes his social media behavior

When your ex regrets that he broke up with you, his social media behavior may easily show that he’s stalking you.

Don’t be surprised if he unusually becomes the first to react to your updates with hearts and ‘cares’ emoticons.

This sign is not very obvious but be on the lookout, he may be drafting texts to send to you.

Do you know how Facebook Messenger tells you that ‘X’ is typing?

If you try to monitor your ex’s messenger, chances are he’d be crafting message drafts that he’ll never send.

10) He’ll try to get back into your life as if nothing had happened

One of the clearest signs that your ex regrets breaking up with you is he’ll try to sneak back into your life.

Your ex may try to get you back while avoiding talks about the root cause of the breakup.

This may not be the best for the future of your relationship, but it may be a sign that he wants you back and regrets leaving you.

What may follow is he’ll lower his expectations.

His compromise may make him look too needy, and this may not be attractive to you whether he was the one who messed up or not.

But compromising in some positive ways may be a sign that he’ll be better when you make up.

If your ex shows this sign, you can bet he would like to have you back.

Chances are that you’re still in love and can still work out how to fix your relationship with him.

11) He Compliments you at a whole new level

Sometimes it takes a guy to lose you for him to realize that you’re so precious to him.

They say, “You don’t value what you have until you lose it.”

He’ll regret the past and then show up with the “moment of truth” compliments.

Once you notice these compliments, watch out for his true intentions.  Your ex will feel regret if he believes you’re worth chasing after or being friends with again.

So, if he regrets breaking up with you, he will take the compliments to another level – that’s for sure.

12) Your ex may have a remorseful expression and may hardly make eye contact

In other words, he feels guilty for hurting you.

He may not express it in words, but his actions and facial expressions will tell you that he’s deeply sorry for breaking up with you.

How do you know it’s an expression of remorse?

The common body language you’d observe is one of a sad person.

The unhappy body language would be present even if he tried to hide it. Your ex may avoid eye contact with you when he regrets hurting you.

He may also resent you, but it’s common if he’s ashamed that he could not make it with you.

13) Your ex Admits his past mistakes that led to the Breakup

If your ex admits his mistakes, it shows that he cherishes his relationship with you.

It means he is mature enough to take responsibility instead of blaming you for everything.

Your ex would show a respectable leadership trait by admitting he didn’t live up to expectations.

And it doesn’t matter whether he’s moved on or not; confessing that he should have done better is a sign that he has the least regrets.

14) He’ll ask friends about you or ask mutual friends to send a message across to you

If your mutual friends tell you that your ex is asking after you, it’s a good sign that he’s beginning to miss you.

Checking up on you might be a gesture to show that he cares, but it could also be a sign that he feels guilty and want you back.

When your ex tries to check up on you, it’s likely because he misses you or feels indebted to do so.

If he’s reaching out after a long time, it means that you’ve been on his mind.

If you were not on his mind, he would not have sent those messages.

Your ex reaching out in this way means that he regret ending things with you quickly.

This is one of the clearest signs that he is hurt after the breakup.

15) Unexpected behavior like getting drunk and doing something crazy

It is common for your ex to take to drinking when he feels heartbroken after feeling the vacuum created when he let you go.

The rational instinct should be to think through ways to deal with regrets.

Yet, it’s common to sit alone, drink, and cry.

In fact, According to Gao H. and other studies published in the journal of general psychology, mental performance is significantly impaired during regrets.

So this may explain why your ex may not be making the wisest of decisions after you part ways, especially if he regrets doing so.

16) He’ll be willing to talk

After a breakup, tensions are going to be high, but after he’s thought things through and regrets how he handled the conflict, he’d make moves to talk.

You may notice that he’ll be found in places where you could meet and have a chat.

He may stalk or send a message asking to have a moment with you.

Talking things through is a sign of maturity as well and shows that he’s willing to address the issues in your relationship.

More often than not, when your ex wants to talk, it means he’s willing to fix things up.

Having a proper closure is also a good reason he may be looking to have words with you.

If you open your door to him at the right time, he may talk about his regrets and hopes for the future with you.

Perhaps he’d like to have you back or wish you were cool as friends and not as enemies.

17) He’ll be curious to know what you’re up to

When you’ve broken up, and he regrets it, he may want to know your next and every move.

Within a short time, anything can happen.

So your ex may want to know if;

  • You’re seeing someone else already
  • If you have hopes that you can be together again
  • If you feel the loss the same way that he does
  • You truly care about him: He may want to know if you cried or sobbed
  • You are willing to change and accept him back

There may be many other reasons why your ex might be interested in your next move.

But he’d most likely regret breaking up with you if he can’t get over paying attention to what you’re doing.

18) He may be willing to meet up at any given opportunity

When your ex feels remorse for breaking up with you, he’ll readily agree to meet up with you.

He may see the opportunity to meet with you as a means to settle your lingering differences.

It’s normal for your ex to feel that he has to make up for how he treated you when he turned his back on you.

19) He may avoid making contact with you because of guilt

It could be normal for your ex to feel indebted to you and try to make it up to you.

However, a level of guilt could make your ex shy away from talking to you.

Like in the case of a classic withdrawal, your ex-partner may feel so bad that he’ll never want to meet with you again.

But give it time.

Time heals everything, and no matter the guilt, with time, it’ll go away.

Even if he avoids getting in touch with you for a long ass time, his guilty conscience would still haunt him.

When your ex remembers things he missed with you in his life, he’ll regret losing you and feel sorry for what he did.

20) His mood may change, and he could be quick to angry because of the breakup

We tend to transfer aggression when feeling negative emotions.

Your ex may redirect certain bad energies to people around you to the point where it’ll become glaringly obvious that he regrets not having you in his life.

For example, your ex might be aggressive to your friends because he regrets losing you.

A classic behavior might be to pretend that all is well, but if you take a closer look, you will notice his dull, tiresome, melancholy, and regretful mood.

A mood change/swing is common when someone regrets the past or a recent situation.

Your ex’s regrets about the past would be much different from when he only regrets that you’re not together.

More often than not, the regrets will be intense and last longer if he feels so much hurt…

…Or he’s so emotionally involved with you that he finds it hard to forgive himself for hurting you.

21) He’d try to improve in ways that will get your attention

Regrets are normal when a romantic relationship ends.

If your ex regrets his actions and inactions in breaking up with you, he will try to improve himself.

Although not all cases of self-improvement might end up in a renewed relationship, your ex will almost instinctively try to become better

…as he’ll likely have ideas about the reasons why things did not go smoothly.

Your ex may think he lost you because of the physical features he lacked or things he failed to provide.

As this New York Times article shows, it’s even recommended to deal with regrets by improving oneself.

A classic example is to engage in a bodybuild program if he feels insecure and thinks you’d admire a more athletic guy.

Another motivation might be to pay more attention to his career and earn more money.

So your ex may think it’s time to take a step to improve his life so that he will not be taken for granted again.

What is special about this behavior is that it can help him to finally improve external factors that make him attractive.

Your ex may develop the behavioral and emotional balance needed for a more successful relationship.

22) He may make unreal efforts to make you think he’s fine

Do you know when your ex makes questionable efforts to show that he’s happy without you?

That’s right, it happens frequently, and you could also easily spot this in his behavior on social media…

  • Your ex may be over playful in a way to make you notice him in public places like at a party.
  • Your ex could create a false impression of having your replacement already.
  • Fake smiles and laughter may be common as well.
  • It may look like he is showing off.

It will take a close observation to notice that he is pretending to be happy when he’s not.

If it’s artificial, you will know exactly what he’s trying to do.

The moments that follow the fake excitements can give away the true feelings of regret he is hiding deep within his heart.

Did you know?
A study published at The Independent suggests that “pretending to be better after a breakup will make you feel better.” 

23) He may show signs of jealousy after a breakup

If you’re doing fine after a breakup, your ex may show many possible signs of jealousy.

If he’s still single and you’ve moved on, chances are that he’d try one of these behaviors that are typical of a jealous person.

Anyway, it’s normal to feel some regrets mixed with a healthy dose of jealousy, especially if you would have loved to get your ex back but could not.

Scientists have found that when jealousy is induced in monogamous primates, it leads to a certain brain and hormonal activity.

The effects are similar to the “social distress” experienced by humans when separated from a romantic relationship;

  • He’ll tend to flaunt his success.
  • He may boast of his achievements as a way to make a statement that he’s cool too.
  • In case you meet him by chance, his body language will portray one of an insecure guy. He’d not look very comfortable and may unusually cross his legs in a sitting position or fold his arms.
  • He’ll likely spew negative things about you behind your back.
  • A jealous ex may stalk you and be in competition with you while he secretly regrets he did not make it with you.

You should be careful of a jealous ex.

Distress from jealousy can lead to unhealthy rivalry and even hatred.

Jealousy may not be the easiest to detect, but it’ll eventually manifest sooner or later.

Related: Ex Came Back After Rebound Failed – What Should I Do?


We have seen some signs that your ex may show when he regrets breaking up with you.

Some are obvious signs, while others are not so obvious.

Conversely, your ex may be emotionally invested in the same way as you. That’s why you also want to know how he’s feeling.

As a closing thought, make sure you observe your feelings and determine what signs to look out for.

Your ex would regret the breakup in unique ways as every relationship is unique.

Finally, if you also regret breaking up with him, make sure you look for ways to get him back before he gets over you.

Expert Recommendation

The Ex Factor GuideIf you want a step-by-step, hands-on approach to getting your ex back into your life, very few courses out there will help you do so.

But my favorite and the one many relationship experts recommend is The Ex Factor Guide by Brad Browning. Brad Browing has helped thousands get their exes back. So make sure to check it out.  It might just be the best money you spent this year.


Gao H, Zhang Y, Wang F, Xu Y, Hong YY, Jiang J. Regret causes ego-depletion, and finding benefits in regrettable events alleviates ego-depletion. J Gen Psychol. 2014;141(3):169-206. DOI:10.1080/00221309.2014.884053