Last updated on July 22nd, 2020 at 12:07 pm

Your ex broke your heart, it was all her fault that you guys separated but you still love her.

You want her back and you’re thinking about what to do to get her back.

No matter the circumstances, make no mistake, getting your ex back is not easy.

But I’ll do my best to help you make the right decision.

In this article, I’m going to show you 15 things many guys I’ve talked to have done.

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She Broke My Heart but I Still Love Her (15 Things to Do If You Want Her Back)

1) Control of your emotions

No matter how hurt you are, don’t let your emotions get the better of you.

How you respond to your ex might make or break your chances of getting her back with her. Being emotionally independent will influence many aspects of your communication.

It will help you engage more intelligently and objectively with your ex.

You don’t want to show your frustration by acting as if your whole life depends on her.

2) Be firm about what you want

Maintain your values when you decide to get your ex back.

You were hurt by the heartbreak but don’t let your dignity be taken away from you.

Be clear about what you want going forward to avoid another heartbreak again.

Positive expectations will boost your confidence.

You need high self-esteem to attract your lady back to you after you had separated for some time, even if it’s for a few days.

3) Be Masculine – Be the real man

Be masculine with your interaction and I don’t mean you should be violent.

Show more of control of the situation than being passive.

Being the alpha male is attractive to ladies and you’d have a better chance at winning your ex her back.

If you work on taking a more masculine tone and posture, you’ll have a higher chance of sparking attraction that was probably missing when she disrespected you and broke your heart.

4) Meet other people and have fun in a good way

Find a way to have fun immediately the good times with her seemed to be destined for the past.

It could be difficult to do because you’re deeply in love with her but you don’t want to sulk and act like a baby.

Having some fun instead of expressing that emotion to your ex will make her see you as more emotionally independent and make her jealous too.

Be open-minded and you may find someone better or make her want you back the more.

5) Lead your ex on: Attract her rather than beg her to come back

Do what you can to make her want you again. You should consider yourself mostly but you already have an idea of what she likes too that will lead her back to you.

Some things you could do;

  • Work on your charming looks
  • Be more active: Don’t allow so many dull moments in your life
  • Be more assertive: as (Ellis, 1992), suggests that women generally prefer dominant men but not “dominating towards her personality.”

Well, showing dominance should be done with caution. Some people suggest that this implies being neutral and assertive.

6) Ask her to come back and let her know you’ve forgiven her and won’t like the mistake to happen again

So, in case your ex truly loves you but she did something that led to you breaking up with her…

…You may want her back if you find out that she regrets her actions and is willing to change for good.

Something like infidelity can be heartbreaking and hard to forgive.

But it’s possible to recover and reconsider the circumstances leading to the heartbreak and still make your relationship work again.

You’ve decided to forgive your ex who cheated and later asked you to forgive her but how should you go about it?

Don’t regret the brief moment that you broke up with her, instead put the past behind you and move on.

But make it clear that you felt bad about what she did that broke your heart. And reassure her that you know you love each other and set the tone of bringing back trust.

7) Be Proactive about Fixing the Root Cause of Issues prior to the heartbreak

No relationships are perfect and it’s not all roses because one basic thing may be missing in other people’s lives.

These imperfections can be disappointing and might even lead to infidelity.

Think about it for a second.

Your ex would not intentionally break your heart if things were perfect.

Expert Note

Clinical psychologist and founder of Thrive Psychology Group, Charlynn Ruan pointed out that women cheat because they want to end “a “relationship that makes them feel trapped in some way.”

Think broad and wide about it. Also, think about the following;

  • Was your sex life great?
  • Is there a possible social or medical explanation of why your ex is unfaithful to you?

You may love your ex so much and need each other but the same problems could crop up again leading to even worse feelings.

By and large, your chance of getting her back could be close to zero if you don’t address the issues you faced before you two parted ways.

8) Make her feel indebted to you

Once you decide to let your ex back, make her feel thankful that you’re giving her some attention especially if she’s presently making contact with you.

Have a mindset that your ex should be happier because you accepted her back into your life.

9) Maintain Self-Confidence: Refuse to change negatively by the heartbreak

When you are heartbroken, the tendency is for you to feel down and out.

But maintaining great self-confidence is going to be very important for you.

Instead of putting too much effort to please your ex, be confident around her and others.

According to a 1999 Journal of Research in Personality, women prefer men that are highly assertive and confident.

You don’t want to do EVERYTHING she asks.

If you let her be in charge and sort of control you, ask you to do chores, errands, or any random things for her, don’t be surprised if she dumps you again.

Perhaps she broke your heart because she did not respect you enough.

You won’t be doing any better getting her back if you don’t command more respect going forward.

10) Plan ahead of events that you’re both interested in and take advantage of it

You want to put some thoughts into getting your ex back rather than taking it casually.

It will be different this time but you’d have some advantage because you know her.

You know her interest and where you’d likely meet and things she likes.

Plan and prepare for the meeting: Take time to think about the place, the occasion, the time, and how much time you’re gonna have to spend.

It will be easier to recover from heartbreak and get your ex back when you share more things in common.

Creating the chance for you to meet casually will reignite the passion that existed between you.

Use this time to undo the negative impression that she might have had from the period before the breakup.

Also Check Out: 21 Signs He Will Come Back After Break Up

11) Open up for moments of connection but allow friendship to grow steadily

Be open about the connection that you intend to recreate with her. But it is advisable not to force it.

You can seize the opportunity of the breakup to create a higher level of friendship.

In the case that you want her back and have been separated for some time, allow your friendship to grow naturally.

Let your likeness for each other grow organically without being too selfish about your demands in the relationship.

Effectively, you don’t want to be the one to initiate every step involved in your relationship and coming together with your ex.

Emotional needs should be mutually catered for but it needs to balance especially from the beginning and expect less emotional investments from her end.

12) Be honest about your willingness to accept her back at the right time if asked about it

Your ex or her friends and family may reach out to you and ask about your plans.

They may be aware of the whole story from one side or may not know exactly what the issues are but they care about you all the same.

If you’re asked about what you want with your separated partner, be honest about what you’ve decided to do and keep it 100 with them.

Also Read: 21 Differences Between True Love And Infatuation

13) Rationalize the reasons why you want her back

Convince yourself that you’re making the right choice to return to your ex again.

In other words, BE SURE that she’s the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You don’t want to have a situation where you’d make up only for you to fight again right after getting back with her.

So, I think it’s not out of place to have a kind of debate with yourself about the pros and cons of deciding to continue a relationship with your ex.

Related: 17 Reasons Your Ex Is Ignoring You Completely

14) Show some empathy and allow her to make her own decision about reconciling with you

You’re not only going to be the only one hurt and pained about the whole thing.

So, you should consider how your ex might have felt about the way you reacted to the whole situation.

Accepting your fault will not invalidate your right to get even with the wrong that your ex did.

But no matter how heartbreaking it was, your reaction might not have been one hundred percent perfect.

You need empathy to forgive your ex and put the past behind you faster.

Expert Note

Relationship expert and chief clinical officer, Robert Weiss Ph.D., attributes one of the reasons women cheat to a psychological state of depression.

This may well be because of a brain-related problem too.

You’ll easily forgive a lover that has broken your heart if you empathize with her.

But if you’re less empathetic you’ll hardly let go of the hard feelings that come with heartbreak.

15) Take actions in a way that will increase her respect for you

You were heartbroken but you were not broken.

So you have to keep the situation under control and act in ways that will attract respect to you.

Respect is important in your relationships and it’s even more important that you meet your ex’s expectation of you as the man.

Your ability to play your role well enough can make your ex wish you’re back together.

You can command so much respect by your actions.

Talking in a more positive and livelier tone than passive tones can make you have a better chance of getting your ex back.

The idea is to be more persuasive than merely being suggestive.

Instead of always asking for the opinions, come up with the initiative and allow her to decide on whether to give in or not and be confident that she’ll do what you ask.

But do it smartly.

Create a balance between serving and being served.

There is no honor in always demanding respect but never serve.

You don’t want to come off as being too bossy or too demanding.

Also Check Out: 23 Signs He Regrets Breaking Up With You

Conclusion

Your ex will say yes to you again because she thinks you’re the real deal and she made a mistake by hurting your feelings.

No one could love her the way you do.

She believes that both of you can change for the better and be good enough for each other.

Your ex understands that you love her because of who she is and expects you to have put the past behind you.

She may struggle to earn your trust back but she should be expecting you to change in some ways too.

Your job will be to fill in the missing gap before you reach the breaking point.

You’ll need to provide emotional balance, be more physical, and take your position of the provider.

So get out there and get her back!

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