Last updated on July 22nd, 2020 at 12:06 pm

  • Why is my ex ignoring me?
  • Why would my ex refuse to talk to me again after breakup?

Deep within your heart, you wouldn’t mind getting back in touch with your ex or try to work things out.

But sadly, for reason(s) best known to your ex, he MAY not want to get in contact with you just yet or anytime soon.

So what do you do?

Should you stop contacting him?

Well, let’s start by helping you see some specific reasons why your ex won’t talk to you anymore.

Armed with this knowledge, you can decide wisely on how to proceed.

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17 Reasons Your Ex Has Refused to Talk to You

So without further ado, let’s get right into it…

1) Your Ex doesn’t want to hurt you – Guilt

Your ex may have the feeling that you’d still be disappointed at the way the breakup happened.

So, guilt may also set in with your ex feeling that contacting you will hurt you.

It’s common for a dumper who is very emotional to feel guilty especially when he has a strong feeling that his decision to dump you was wrong.

The chances of talking to you will plummet even more if he was the guilty party and doesn’t intend to come back.

2) Your Boyfriend thinks there’s nothing to talk about

As you can imagine, your ex won’t find it easy to deal with the aftermath of a breakup and some emotions would be playing out.

It is not too strange for your ex to feel there is nothing to talk about after what you’ve done.

While you may need to have some kind of closure after the breakup, your ex might just hang on to the decision never to talk to you ever again.

Also, your ex may think there may be no value from the conversation with you.

Think about it, like you, your ex will place his personal interests above yours.

So, at that moment when you’re trying to make contact, he might have set other personal priorities.

The fact that your ex is trying to cut off or have been denied of a once cherished relationship would have created a bad sentiment about seeing you or hearing you out.

But, if you can make him see what is in it for him in the conversation, then he MIGHT be willing to give you a chance.

3) You or your ex had/have serious communication issues

I’m pretty sure you would not feel comfortable talking to someone if he or she is not great at having or keeping a conversation going.

When it comes to having a conversation, it’s an art that most people are not skilled at.

According to Debbie, lack of eye contact and poor listening skills are signs of a bad communicator.

If you didn’t have respectable conversations with your ex in the past, you may need to do extra work to get him to talk to you.

If you expect a different reaction from your ex, you need to work out ways that he can listen to you or try to use some other means of communication like texting.

4) Your ex loved you deeply and didn’t expect things to go as bad as it did

It can be disappointing and heartbreaking to have the sad feelings that come with a breakup.

And when your ex thinks about the fact that he loved you by giving you everything, he might be so upset about the idea of ever talking to you again.

That your ex refused to talk to you, maybe:

  • A sign that he was so much into you and is trying to get you out of his mind for good.
  • He’s is making a statement to let you know he’s pissed.

Overall, your boyfriend may feel betrayed and let down and you may want to earn his trust back before he can talk to you again.

Possibly, he may be shocked by the breakup and don’t feel the need to talk to you at all.

5) Your Boyfriend may still have resentment towards you

All the emotions that follow a breakup can lead to your ex having resentments towards you.

Depending on how bad it was, some ex-partners may even like it when you feel the guilt and still carry a heavy heart as a result of them not talking to you.

The one common reason why you want to seek a [closure] final word with your ex is to free your mind from the feelings of guilt and to ensure that there are no hard feelings between the both of you.

Sometimes you just want to be friends and still feel good that he’s okay too.

This gesture may be important for you to show your care and also show that you’re not selfish or bad.

6) You Ex May Have Found Love…again

Don’t take it for granted that your partner may be in a new relationship and think it’s not right to talk to you again.

People have varying ideas of what infidelity means and this may fall under the gray line of infidelity to some people.

If your ex has this belief and you need to settle any issues with him, you’d better stopped trying after officially ending the relationship and agreeing not to contact him again.

7) Your ex doesn’t want to be tempted to have feelings for you again

Your ex may not want to talk with you to avoid the possibility of one thing leading to another and then possibly having physical contact with you.

If you’re irresistible and persuasive then your ex wouldn’t want to face the temptation of falling for you.

If you’re very attractive and persuasive your ex may still like those qualities in you but he might be considering moving on or have moved on already.

A commonsense step you’d expect your ex to do in this case is to get a new lover even before considering giving you the final kick.

8) He may be Overprotective

The last thing your ex would like is to let you come in the way and spoil a new relationship in progress.

When in a new relationship, it’s commonsense to keep out communication with your ex.

It’s the same thing your ex is trying to do by cutting all communication with you.

However, there is a fine line between being protective and being overly protective.

The no contact barrier may be higher if your ex is tempted to check up on you or your talks may be intrusive into his new life.

9) Your ex may be waiting to watch out for signs that you’ve changed

You shouldn’t give up if you have the desire to get back with your ex.

What you should try to do is show that you’ve changed and are willing to invest in making your relationship healthier and better.

Your ex may be hoping that you’ve changed and would like for you to prove it before considering getting back together with you.

Once you’re able to show that you’ve changed, your chances of getting back together will sour.

And also, the recovery of your lost love and attraction will be faster.

10) Your ex may have lost interest in you or is trying to get over losing you

The first thing that happens when you have a devastating breakup is trying to process all that led to it.

The next step is trying to work out life after losing the interest and getting over your ex.

So when your ex might have given up any hope of getting back to you, the next step would be to forget about you.

Two things can happen when your ex forgets about you;

  • One, he may completely close his mind on any thoughts about you.
  • Second, he may not want you back and just perish the thoughts of meeting you forever.

Your ex might have decided to forget about you as a way to seek healing and recovery.

It would be more convenient to get back with your ex when he is trying to get over losing you than when he had already started going out with someone else.

If you’re willing to get back with him, you need to find a way to make your ex interested in you again.

And good timing is vital if you want to succeed.

Also Read: 23 Signs Your Boyfriend Regrets Losing You

11) Your ex wants to let it sink in for some time

Even if your ex will eventually talk to you, he may be hanging on to make you feel the heat of what you did.

In the meantime, your ex may hope that you’d see where you did wrong and feel remorse.

On the other hand, your ex may never want to come back but still hopes the breakup gets to you.

Not talking for a long time may be a way for him to make you feel really hurt about the whole situation.

Note
When you’re ignored, you feel bad but you’ll likely pay more attention to ways of making the relationship better going forward than if he had easily let you in into his life again.

Of course, as you process everything leading up to your separation or divorce, you should try to be empathetic and see things from his perspective.

Also, try to address the situation based on his personality trait.

No matter what you want in your next meeting with your ex, you should bear in mind how your ex may be feeling.

The meeting or conversation may be awkward and perhaps might be another reason why he may not want it in the first place.

You may also have the same awkward feeling too.

Nevertheless, you also have to work out how to bear the whole emotion that goes into breaking the emotional defense of your former lover.

Also Read: Should I Take Her Back After She Broke My Heart? 15 Things You Can Do

12) Your Ex may be ghosting on you or using the no contact rule

Ghosting and no contact rules are big concerns on the topic of a breakup.

Your ex may have decided to apply any of these strategies.

When people ‘turn ghosts’, it can be annoyingly worrisome but it’s sadly one of those things you have no control over when it does happen.

It is also possible that your ex has decided not to contact you while creating space for healing.

Understandably, the breakup has placed him in crossroads and he needs to be in a good frame of mind to think about what to do next.

So if your ex is not talking to you, it might be a clear message to maintain no contact for some time.

Reach out again after 20-30 days and see how things will play out.

13) Your ex may have no intention of forgiving you

Your ex may have decided not to forgive you and don’t want to hear you begging. Getting back to talking terms with you may not be acceptable to him at the moment and rightly so.

It’s normal for you not to be at peace with people and it’s the same for other people too.

It’s the reason why you want to make sure that your ex has forgiven you if you were in the wrong.

Even if it’s not your fault, you’ll definitely not going to be at peace with yourself if your ex is still bitterly angry with you.

You cannot afford to let your past relationship bother you too much, but you can still try to reach out and talk things out.

If after multiple attempts, you’re still not able to get through to him, my advice would be for you to move on with your life.

14) Your ex may have some negative feelings about the intent of reaching out

Your ex could have a bad feeling about the reason you’re trying to reach out.

Here are some facts;

After breakups, there may be a kind of competition between former partners; it could be about who is fairing better or who is happier.

  • Your ex may think you just want to check if you’d moved on or still moody and heartbroken.
  • Your actions may be seen as manipulating.
  • You may be perceived to be monitoring him.
  • Don’t take it for granted that some people mock their ex after a breakup. Laughing at an ex-lover is the meanest and the worst thing to do. Shockingly, it happens and I’ve addressed a few of these cases. This can happen with emotionally immature people who find it easy to make sick jokes and are not sensitive enough.
  • It’s possible that your ex amplified some of your past wrongdoings and childlike attitude and concludes that you’ll have nothing good to say.

Considering the above scenarios, you have to make sure that you’re serious about making things right or getting in touch for good reasons.

Making your intentions known ahead of the meeting or asking for a chance to talk is a good starting point and can set the tone for your ex to change his mind.

15) You’ve repeatedly been unimpressive with previous opportunities to talk to your ex

Remember that everyone cares about his own personal interest and hardly gives a damn about others.

An average person cares much about his toothbrush at home than an earthquake happening in Japan or Russia.

If you have failed to communicate properly and spark some interest before, your ex may not be willing to listen to you anymore.

If your ex is friendly and wants to talk to you, don’t mess it up this time or you’ll never get another chance.

Some rules of chatting with your ex might come in handy.

Consider some of the points below;

  • Respect the new boundaries that your ex set.
  • Share interesting activities.
  • Show that you genuinely care.
  • Set your values and respect them.
  • Lend a helping hand if he asks: if you don’t offer any value either materially or morally, then there could be no good reason to be friends.

Maybe, how you try to initiate a conversation with your ex is not working.

You’re going to have to change your conversation starters or bring him in with your texts or voicemails.

If things develop, don’t take the attention you’ve gained for granted as the journey to attract your ex again would have just begun.

16) Your ex believes you ended the relationship on a very bad note and he wants to pay back in your own coin

Your ex will have more than enough excuse not to talk to you if he believes you dumped him in the most disrespectful manner.

He may also have a good excuse for avoiding you like a plague because he feels you treated him like trash and deserved to be ignored forever.

They say “one good turn deserves another” – and that’s exactly what he’s trying to accomplish here.

It could also be that when you dumped him, he felt so bitter, and now it’s his turn to act as if the bad-dumper doesn’t exist.

All of this goes to show that there is a right and wrong way to break up with someone you love. That’s why it’s very important to break up with your ex the right way.

Be that as it may, if you really want your ex to talk to you again, own up to your mistake, make sure you admit your wrongs and find a way to settle the differences you have.

By so doing, you’d have proved to him you’ve changed and are ready to get back to how things were before.

17) Your ex may be preoccupied with other things and wouldn’t want to tell you

If you had a breakup where you talked about why you wanted to end it, your lover may have decided to work on the issues you talked about without letting you know (that’s if he truly loves and deeply cares about you).

During a sort of self retreat and personal improvement, your ex may not want to talk about anything with you.

Did You Know?
Did you know that back in the day (especially in most parts of Asia and Africa), husbands used to send their wives back to their parents to learn some home management skills and manners, and then have her returned to him after he deemed it necessary?

It’s kinda weird if you look at it in a 21st-century line of thought.

Nevertheless, it was an act that showed that the man was not happy with his wife’s attitude/behavior and it could 9 out of 10 times lead to the husband sending his wife away indefinitely.

So what I’m trying to say is that even if you did tell your ex the reasons you wanted to split ways, he may not yet be ‘be done with you’ and is seeking some kind of a refuge someplace and don’t want to be bothered.

Letting you know what he’s up to is not what he’d like to talk about especially after he’d received what may seem like earth-shattering news.

So having a safe space away from your intrusion would be the wisest thing for him to do.

Related: How to Tell If Your Ex Will Come Back After Break Up

Conclusion

In this article, we’ve uncovered some various reasons why your ex won’t talk to you and I’m pretty sure that a couple of reasons above may be why he might be ignoring you

But bear in mind that it will be a matter of time for your ex to get over the breakup and talk to you again.

In a worst-case scenario, your ex might have vowed not to have anything to do with you, let alone talking to you.

If that’s the case, you have absolutely nothing to worry about because you’ll never get back with him no matter how hard you try.

In fact, you’ll be making matters worse – you can’t walk back into your someone’s life just like that.

But if you genuinely want to get back with your ex, follow the tips in this article and make sure you check out (name the guide).

Let me know if you have any questions in the comment section below.

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