Why Can’t I Get a Girlfriend? What’s Wrong With Guys Who Have Never Had a Girlfriend

Never had a girlfriend

There are studies that suggest that guys who battle to get girlfriends and just don’t seem to know how to go about getting ones don’t try enough.

What these studies further suggest is that these guys just give up before they’ve given it a chance.

There certainly are differences in what men and women want in relationships.

Men don’t like to be rejected; in fact, they can really become affected by rejection.

So if they ask a girl out and she says no, it will take its toll on their egos and it might be months before they get around to asking girls out again.

You might be a guy who falls in the above category.

You would love a girlfriend.

But you can’t seem to get one, and not only that, you have been rejected by girls in the past as well.

You are girlfriend-less.

Maybe you are just doing things wrong in that you don’t really know how to treat women or know what women want…

…maybe you will discover that if you just change some things, things can change for you.

We have some fantastic brushing-up skills that you will find very interesting and true that you can work on.

That will make all the difference to your getting a girlfriend in the near future.

Let’s take a look briefly at 21 reasons why you might be battling to get a girlfriend but which you can start to change today!

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What Will I Learn?

I Have Never Had a Girlfriend – What’s Wrong With Me

lonely guy

1) Maybe you are someone who has more female friends than you do male friends but none are your girlfriend

You are the usual typical nice guy, just like a nice big brother to all your female friends. 

But you are probably not into any of them.

And the reason is that you actually lack the expertise and finesse of planning a date with the one you really like.

And if you do take them out, it’s not really like a date; you take them to your manly events like truck monster trucks or soccer, etc.

2) You are awkward on the date because you have no experience

Men who have expertise with going on dates have finesse.

They know how to hold good conversations and keep them going.

A new guy who battles to get girls won’t be so smooth, not likely.

He might not know how to converse smoothly and he might even be nervous or embarrassed to touch on girl topics.

He won’t know how to flirt either.

3) You don’t have the right communication skills

Not a whole lot of people can communicate well.

Guys who have never had a girlfriend kind of lack the ability to know how a woman feels.

They appear a bit shy and can’t keep the conversation flowing and easy – in the end, there are moments of awkwardness.

It can be pretty frustrating for a girl who is on a date with you to battle through the awkwardness.

You have to acknowledge girls and their feelings and their way of thinking to get good two-way conversations going.

4) You don’t understand a woman’s needs

Whatever you discuss when you are together, whether she brings up her emotional, sexual, physical, or mental needs…

…if you are a guy who has never had a girlfriend, you won’t understand these things and you won’t be able to answer back or remotely have a serious conversation with her about these types of things. 

And it’s because you might never have thought it important, but it is!

5) You lack the knowledge of knowing what are the right things to do for a girl

If you are for instance on a first date with a girl, you might not even realize that she would probably be expecting lovely romantic wine with her meal, with flowers on the table and soft music.

But you, not understanding or realizing this, might just offer her a beer, or a takeaway, etc.

If you don’t regularly date girls, it might never have occurred to you even to think about things like that.

6) You don’t see the hints

You might be a bit clueless here.

A girl might be looking for some compliments and you are missing the opportunity to see it.

She might have applied delightful perfume for you to notice, or dressed up with her hair looking like a dream, and you don’t even compliment her and tell her how amazing she looks.

A girl needs to realize that she shouldn’t feel rejected by you if you miss out on these types of things because you might not have realized how important it is to a woman.

It’s just that she might not go on another date with you; she might even think you are not into her at all.

7) Your place is typical of a bachelor

You have never even considered that a gorgeous girl might come and visit your place.

If you look around you might see that what you have at your place is fit only for you, no nightstands next to the bed, no big snuggly couch to snuggle on, no comfy recliner; just a few chairs dotted around.

If there is nowhere to cuddle but your bed, you are obviously not used to having a girlfriend or even woman friends come around.

Nothing intimate and charming to attract a girl to your place.

8) You are either too romantic or not romantic enough

A man with little or no experience at all with girls can become frustrating to a girl because he can become too romantic and smother her.

However, in saying that, a girl doesn’t like to go unacknowledged or unnoticed either, so it will mean learning to get this art right.

9) You do the wrong things on the first date and talk too much about your stuff

You are on your first date and you order fish with plenty of garlic and then lean over and expect a kiss.

That might show you are a newbie.

Or maybe you are already mentioning sex on your first date?

Unfortunately, these show you up as inexperienced in dating and keeping a girl.

Talking only about your things without turning the conversation into an enjoyable two-way conversation where you ask her interesting questions about her life too can be downright annoying and nerve-wracking for a girl.

Maybe the girl you are with will point this out to you even.

So before she does that, enjoy these great tips about how to carry off the first date.

10) You might be super-intelligent, but don’t be too nerdy on your first date

There is nothing quite like intelligence to be super sexy.

Maybe your vocabulary is so advanced that your girlfriend might be sorry she didn’t bring her dictionary along!

That’s awesome for you, but if you want to understand how to be a gentleman and enjoy a casual, friendly, happy outing with your date, save all the high-tech stuff for the office or for a formal outing another time.

Now it’s time to be in touch with your surroundings and your babe and forget about trying to impress with your super-intelligence.

Remember, it is important for a girl how you make her feel.

11) You haven’t thought about your future relationship-orientated goals yet 

People and even girls might have asked you, “What are you looking for in a relationship?”

And instead of saying something about long-term relationships or settling down, or starting a family, you say something like, “Oh…I don’t really know”.

You are already sending out red flags to a girl.

A girl would assume that you are more into building your career or taking care of your parents.

Maybe if you have never had a girlfriend, you aren’t even aware of the concept of a ‘serious relationship.’

12) You are too eager to get into a committed relationship – maybe not eager enough

Guys who have never had a girlfriend might make the mistake of already in the early stages of a new relationship – wanting a full-on commitment straight away!

You might have experienced this already, and wondered why your relationship didn’t work out.

Maybe you have even been hesitant to commit because you never understood serious relationships before.

The thought of commitment scares you too much or excites you too much.

A girl will be aware of these red-flag commitment issues.

13) Don’t forget to tease a girl

Teasing a girl creates sexual tension between you and the girl you like.

Start to tease girls regularly because the more you tease women, the more you rock in their eyes – you are not all tensed up.

It shows them that you are not scared of risking confrontation and that they can count on you to stick to your beliefs, that you’re a protector and not a pushover kinda guy.

You will get opportunities to tease naturally when you stick to your opinions.

You don’t want to be a pushover, agreeing with women in a fake way all the time just to please them.

14) Focus on what she is saying

That’s important; it’s not all about what you are saying.

Listen to what she is saying and make her the main subject in your conversation.

That will provide you plenty of opportunities to tease her and you will never be out of topics for interesting conversation.

Girls like guys who listen to them. “Why did you choose this table? No, clearly you chose it because you saw me sitting here!”

Get the pic?

Now that you are having a good time chatting and teasing, a good time to get her number would be now.  

15) Did you get a date?

Now that you have her number, you can ask her out on a date.

Remember you won’t probably achieve anything with just one text.

You need to build her curiosity and excitement about meeting up with her first – and then you could see whether she is keen or not.

If she is a coffee addict and loves going out to drink it, for instance, you could let her know you saw this new boutique coffee shop and you thought the two of you could go and check it out together.

16) Texting is also important

Being a guy who has never had a girlfriend, texting is also important.

It also has its own set of etiquette and rules.

Check out these good rules to remember when texting a girl:

  • Send the text and then forget it – don’t overthink all the stuff you put in it, etc. After you text her, just go about your day and don’t double text if she takes a long time to reply.
  • Keep your texting positive – if it doesn’t make you smile, don’t send it.
    So that means being playful because texting is for flirting and setting up dates. No boring long conversations if you want to keep a girl interested. She wants a lover, not a boring friend!
  • End the conversation, always, when you see it has reached its peak. Rather leave her on the edge of her seat guessing and waiting, rather than where both of you are trying to end the conversation and to stifle the yawns!

Here is some more interesting information for you: how to text a girl without her losing interest here.]

17) Where to take a girl on your first date

If you have never had a girlfriend, it is best to choose a place that is nice, informal, and relaxed.

A nice place will be where it has activities that you can get close to her.

Perhaps avoid a dinner date for the first date because they can be awkward, very formal, and also expensive.

Zoos are great because there is plenty to do and talk about.

Other good places could be ten-pin bowling or hookah bars if you like that type of thing.

The cinema is OK for a second date, but also not so much for your first date because you can’t really talk to each other and it would be awkward.

Oh, and on this day, don’t forget to compliment her.

You just have to show your appreciation with an honest compliment like “Wow…you look amazing”.

18) Show your girl that you are no pushover, you are a high-value male, a true gentleman, treating a lady like a lady

Showing your girl you are no pushover and being respectful of others is very appealing to women.

Remember wherever you are, help her to sit down, open doors for her, and kind of overdo it in a chivalrous way, not all serious and nervous.

Show her you care about others and her, of course, by tipping waiters and bar staff.

Because if you want respect you have to earn it, right?

19) Avoid some topics on your first date

If you are a guy who hasn’t had a girlfriend before, and you are going on your first date, we would like to offer some suggestions about topics of conversation that you should think about avoiding.

It’s not that these topics are off-limits forever, but they can be pretty boring and annoying on a first date; even cause arguments.

Here is some fabulous helpful advice for you.

20) Are you waiting for the perfect girl?

Not going to happen.

The truth of the matter is that she doesn’t exist – there is no ‘perfect’ woman.

If you are waiting for your favorite film star look-alike to come stumbling into your life, you will end up dying old and alone.

Remember that each and every person has good qualities, so you should focus on those.

Don’t focus on what the girl you choose can’t give you.

If you just incorporate this simple bit of advice into your life, you are going to greatly increase the number of women you find yourself compatible with.

21) Get rid of the bunch of insecurities in your life that you haven’t yet dealt with

Women want to spend time with guys for the nice things in a guy that they can see.

And the top things that a guy can offer women are kindness, intelligence, and time.

Sexual chemistry counts too of course; it’s usually that that attracts girls n guys in the first place.

And then if you can make a girl laugh, well that’s great!

Tell her she is pretty even when she looks like she weathered a storm.

But if you are a guy with a whole lot of insecurities; maybe about your micro-penis or that you are a huge oafish guy; you need to deal with those issues.

If you are honest and upfront about who you are, the right person for you won’t care.

Naturally, striving for self-improvement is worthwhile.

But for you, work out what you can actually change and make peace with what you can’t.

There is simply nothing more appealing than a person who’s comfortable with who they are – it’s very appealing – someone who is not pretending to be anything else other than themselves.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How should I date someone if I have never dated before?

The best way is through communication and patience. Dating is also a skill that like everything else, you learn over time.

Even experienced daters will learn something new.

If you are going to date someone who has never dated before, you will have to teach them the value of honesty, communication, friendship, and inclusion.

Can you tell if a guy you are going on a date with is inexperienced?

If you, as a woman, are experienced with men and have been on many dates, you are no doubt going to notice an inexperienced man.

Many times he will come across as anxious; maybe shy; even overwhelmed. He will display the same type of nervous signs that anybody might display when they are outside of their comfort zone.

Often he will battle with a conversation with a woman and it will be highly unlikely that he will know how to flirt.

I am a decent good-looking guy but why do girls show total disinterest in me?

If you are not able to capture a woman’s interest, there could be some inner issues that you have that show up in the way you behave and talk when you are around women.

Perhaps you don’t put yourself out there; you keep to yourself a lot. Maybe you have something about you that simply is not attractive to certain females.

There could be plenty of reasons why you are not being successful in getting a girl to be interested in you.

We have listed at least 21 of these, and then some. See if you fall into any of them.

They are not impossible things to remedy in your life and will probably make a huge difference in your next efforts to win a girl’s heart!

If you aren’t trying really hard to put yourself out there on the market, perhaps it’s time to make yourself more visible and obvious.

And is it OK and normal not to have a girlfriend?

Don’t be worried about it at all if you don’t have a girlfriend. It is more than OK and highly socially acceptable in this day and age, in 2021.

It’s only something to be concerned about if you are battling to get a girlfriend. You badly want one, and yet you continually are rejected.

Then there are possible reasons why this is so and certainly something you can address. But if you are happy with it, well, you are part of a growing number of people that prefer to stay single.

What is meant by a relationship virgin?

If you have heard this phrase before, it refers to young people who have reached the age of 20 and have not yet been in a serious relationship.

Why is it that people think there is something wrong with you if you are not in a relationship?

Well, there are many people that are in relationships that shouldn’t be in relationships.

Single people who choose to be single probably know this only too well; they choose to stay single until they meet someone that they know they want to be with, who fulfills them, and who is literally their other half.

There are millions of people in the world who believe that they can’t be complete people unless they are in a relationship; their ‘crutch’ is what keeps them going without considering their partner’s feelings.


Are you a guy who is reading this; you are someone who would dearly love a girlfriend and yet you seem to just meet with rejection all around.

You are becoming disillusioned because you feel you are losing your confidence with women; they are just not into you for some reason.

If you have managed the first date, you don’t remember ever having a second.

We hope you are excited after reading this article; reading about 21 possible reasons why you might be battling to get a girlfriend.

You might have discovered in this article the very reasons why you have not been successful in dating, and now you are excited to see try them out and see if it can start a whole new dating scene for you!

Remember that ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day.’

That means that if you are serious about getting a girlfriend, you will have to get your priorities right.

Your main concern now shouldn’t be about how desperate you might be to get a girl or need a girlfriend.

As soon as you stop putting other people on a pedestal and start putting yourself first…

…you stop letting people cross the line with you, and you stop worrying so much about what others think, the girl you long for will suddenly become naturally drawn to you.

You will have a vibe about you that is attractive to girls.

You will have an attitude that you don’t need a woman to make your life complete.

When you have that vibe about you, you will find you will take more risks.

You will be able to approach and talk to girls without feeling nervous because you have to try so hard – and then you won’t even have to worry about the consequences.

Soon you will understand that getting a girlfriend is not the most important thing in the world.

If a girl is interested in you and you date her, it will just be like an added bonus to the wonderful life that you have and love already!

Women are drawn to guys who believe in themselves and who know what they want; they live a life they are proud of and don’t let others dictate their decisions and actions.

All that is really required of you is to know who you are, what you want, and go after exactly what you want!

That’s the way you will get ahead in life and that’s the way a girlfriend will come to you!