You were probably taking your girlfriend for granted
When you miss your ex a whole lot, it is easy to believe you miss them so much, it must mean you should try and get her or him back again, right?
After all, if you are missing them so badly, surely they must have been the one?
Often we take for granted the people we were in a relationship with; we get used to the relationship and we stop valuing them as we should.
But being in a relationship isn’t just a quick sprint to the end line; it’s a whole lot more.
In fact, it’s like a marathon, with ups and downs.
The longer the marathon is, that’s how long it takes to add your bit to make it work.
Some people get so used to a relationship they think it no longer requires effort anymore.
It’s got to be ongoing input if you want it to work.
But anyway, no matter what caused you and your ex to break up, if you are realizing that you miss her more than you can handle, then read on for some advice and tips.
Why do you miss your ex so much and it is affecting you so much since you broke up?
How would it be possible to get her back if you still love her?
First of all, it is normal to miss your ex after a breakup
So don’t work yourself up!
There are going to be feelings of loss that you will go through.
Remember it’s not only you who is suffering across the world!
When people get dumped by their ‘gf’ or ‘bf’, thousands become cut up and feel that things will never get back to normal again.
In fact, there are some people who literally go to pieces…
…they just can’t handle the harsh reality…
…that everything that they believed and dreamed of as a future together disappeared in the mist in just a few words, or literally overnight.
Some people will say that a breakup can be just as bad as a loved one dying – because they know the same kind of emptiness; that things will never be the same; and that can really play havoc on a person’s psyche.
Don’t stress; this feeling of extreme despair needn’t be permanent
It can be just temporary.
You are not likely going to feel like this forever.
You can and will be able to bounce back.
It is even possible that you could possibly win back the heart of the one you believe you still love; who now has brought you so much anguish.
If you search into your heart for the right ways to get over this.
And then prove to the special person that you want them back and that you can make them happy in the long run, then you have conquered a hurdle already!
Right now, if you want your ex back, you have to make her want you back too!
As mentioned above, we said that sometimes people can’t seem to recover from a breakup – some enter into some nasty depression because of it.
But you can’t afford to let yourself sink into depression if you have.
Because if you do, then you have just added another negative thing to cope with including dealing with the loss of your ex.
Allowing depression to enfold you prevents you from acting positively and winning her back.
You will be disabled to win her back and she, if she has found someone new, will run further away from you.
It might be sad but it’s true – nobody wants to be around someone who is always down and under, because they start to feel like that too!
Missing an ex-girlfriend terribly means you think about them all the time
Missing someone is still OK, but when you become depressed over it, it leads to more ‘bad’ things like…
Skipping college or work
Not being able to handle responsibilities and
Wanting to sleep for a good part of the day
It is possible, and highly advisable, if you want your ‘bae’ back, to snap out of this state of depression and to bounce back.
The best way to get going is to become as active as possible.
Force yourself to get out of bed and leave home and involve yourself in your activities.
Start working out a positive plan for yourself
When you work out a positive plan to accomplish something bigger for yourself, then it becomes easier to conquer the smaller goals along the way to the bigger goal waiting for you at the end – this pushes you to go the extra mile.
But first, you need the right mindset
The mind is a very powerful thing.
It is your mindset that can get you bouncing back to the one you love.
Or it can be losing her forever because you are unable to bounce back.
Instead, you will be allowing all the negative emotions to overwhelm you and impact your state of mind.
That will leave you easily defeated.
A defeated mind won’t allow you to turn things around and inspire yourself to press on to get the prize.
You need determination here because it is very important for you to get rid of all the negative emotions and thoughts.
You can do this. Start focusing on the things that you have going for you; the things that make you so special and unique.
Speak to yourself positively during the day, reprograming your mind towards the positive.
That means to stop feeling sorry for yourself
It is vital that you stop feeling sorry for yourself and telling your loved ones how sad and depressed you feel.
Perhaps you don’t want to hear this, but maybe it’s time to get back into the dating scene.
It can help you regain your self-confidence, proving to yourself that the positive you are an attractive person.
You might be saying, no, I can’t get into the dating scene again, how can I when I miss my ex so much?
I just couldn’t be with anyone else.
But listen to yourself – there is your mindset giving problems again, telling you that you won’t ever find someone like your bae again.
Right now, you are putting her on a pedestal, telling yourself over and over that you are not good enough.
You will certainly be conveying this message to your ex if you repeatedly call her back in this mood!
That’s a good way to push her away for good.
Rather, think back to how you first captivated her and attracted her to you; try and be that person that you were at the beginning of your relationship.
Some fabulous and very useful tips to bring positivity back into your life
Don’t act desperate with your ex and chase her relentlessly, putting her on that pedestal we were talking about.
Sure, the toughest part can be not getting back together immediately again.
But then aren’t you going to start repeating the same mistakes over and over again?
Rather let the breakup redefine who you are.
It is through adversity that we learn to better ourselves and grow.
1) Start a to-do list of activities you need to do as your first step
The best way to get out of depression is by activity.
Then you will see good things falling in line for you.
As soon as you work through a to-do list and accomplish the things you have to do, you are taking control of the breakup, getting your momentum back to turn the situation around.
Find a physical sport you love and where you can push yourself.
6) Go out and make new friends and interact with new people
Try out new restaurants and other places of interest.
It will bring change in your life and renew certain energies.
If you are still missing her days and even months after your breakup, you probably believe you are still in love with her
So why didn’t you just get back together with her?
No, you say, it’s not that simple, she doesn’t want you back.
But it is you who controls your own destiny!
You are the one who can shape it through your actions and mindset.
As soon as you start carrying out your activities on your to-do list, connecting with family, and being physically active, you will soon discover that you are slowly but surely getting back to that person you once were, discovering that your personality and sense of humor are returning.
Oh my, what to do now? – she has hooked up with someone else already!
We know that it’s perfectly normal to miss your girlfriend even months after you have broken up.
But it gets more complicated, though, when she hooks up with someone else.
Now, what are you going to do to get her back?
Is it even possible?
But as we said, you need to focus on yourself, on your goals, and your own personal development.
Remember that whether you are looking to get back together or to move on, you will need to focus on the things that you can control; your attitude, your goals; the actions that you undertake every day.
Remember you can still get back with your ex-girlfriend even if she is in a new relationship, but it needs to be the new you, the real you, the one that bowled her off her feet at the beginning!
You need to become the man that she always wanted to be with; the guy that seduced her at the beginning of your relationship.
Because something must have changed during the course of your relationship
You need to realize that during your relationship something must have changed to change the course of your relationship.
Something about you made her realize that she was no longer happy with you.
And now someone else has come that makes her feel special and who understands her better.
You have to analyze your relationship and understand what the mistakes were to make her unhappy.
That means you will have to have a game plan.
You have to prove to her that you have changed and developed into someone who is no longer overbearing and needy.
Begging and pleading for her to take you back will never work.
The only way to get her to love you again is to inspire her and surprise her, proving to her that you can be happy and fulfilled without her
So if you are asking if she still loves you, well the answer to that is, that she may or may not still have feelings for you.
It will depend on how long ago the breakup occurred.
Maybe if she no longer loved you, then it might not be worth you getting her back again in the first place.
If she did though, you can build on that and even revive those feelings in her again, showcase the new you, and seduce her like once you did before.
You also have to accept that sometimes it is better to move on if your ex is happy in her new relationship
There will be times when it would be recommended that you move on quickly; when your ex clearly doesn’t have good intentions for the two of you – maybe she is hurtful and was even a bad influence in your life.
Maybe she really isn’t the right one for you and you know it in your heart – then it actually is better for you to move on.
Just because you are broken up about it and still have feelings doesn’t mean that it is a signal that you should try and save the relationship.
Sometimes people refuse to realize that the person they want to be in a relationship with will actually never make them happy.
Ask yourself the right questions and make sure that the ex you want back stands for the same values as you do.
So at least she is someone you can relate to and actually be happy with long-term.
Because if she accepts you back, she will also have to prove to you that she has thought long and hard about your relationship too.
And is willing to change to make you happy too!
Remember, it is always focusing on your personal transformation whether you want your ex back or not.
By being positive and not being desperate, by being prepared to put yourself out there and go the extra mile outside of your comfort zone; acting like you are in control – well, wait and see what happens.
Then you ‘kinda have something going for you again, don’t you – and it might well be your old ex or a new bae.
There’s no denying that staying positive can be tough.
Positivity can even start to wain when you are bombarded with a succession of negative failures, like what you have gone through with a breakup – it can be heartbreaking!
But you have the tools and the strength to take your life back.
Become the person that once attracted your ex to you so much – but remember…
It can be done, but it starts with You!
Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)
How do you know your ex is over you?
Good signs are they want all their stuff back. They have also unfriended you on all the social media stations. They never contact you anymore.
They have literally and explicitly told you they no longer have feelings for you anymore.
Do couples generally break up or not?
Most relationships do experience one or more breakups before finding true love. Some couples never have problems, but these are in the minority and make up only about 5% of people in relationships.
What are warning signs that a breakup could happen?
No love and warmth are reciprocated. You have different values. You no longer long to be together or have physical contact with each other.
You battle to communicate. You feel unsupported. Your partner is more difficult to get hold of – amongst others.