How And What to Text a Girl You Like to Keep Her Interested in You

How to text a girl


  • How do you get a girl interested in you again through text?
  • What are some cute things to say to a girl over text?
  • How do you keep a girl interested while texting?
  • What do girls like to talk about over text?
  • How can I start a conversation with a girl over text with examples?
  • How do you make a girl like you over text?

This article provides answers to these questions and more…

So let’s right into it…

For quite some time dating sites, and apps like Tinder, Facebook, and Instagram have been the platform of communication for the GENx.

Instead of meeting someone new at a party or university, this generation prefers to meet people online.

And how do they get to know each other?

Via Text, of course. 

With our lives depending on instant messaging apps like WhatsApp, Snapchat, Viber, Line, Telegram and so many more, texting has replaced speaking over the phone.

With each passing day, the internet and the virtual world seem more natural than the real world.

Even before the Covid-19 pandemic grappled the world, meeting someone over apps and social media was the norm.

Now, with Covid-19, the virtual is the new normal. With schools and colleges taking place online, good communication via text is a new skill that everyone needs to learn. But what to text a girl you like?

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What Will I Learn?

So, what kind of a Texter are you?

Texting someone you like is different from texting a friend or a colleague.

While you have no interest in keeping your friend engaged in the text, for your crush, you don’t want to bore her with your text.

If you have no idea the kind of ‘texter’ you are, then check out the text conversations below.

This will help you understand what you have been doing wrong!

Relax, because we are here to help you out.

25 Powerful Tips on Texting a Girl: Getting Her Interested Through Text

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Using our tips, you will figure out what to text a girl to gain her interest, when to text her and what should be the tone of the conversation.

There are the golden rules when you are texting a girl and get her to like you over text…

1) Don’t bore girls with your generic texts

A girl who has just met not you would find no reason to engage in a conversation that is generic and boring.

So, avoid making your first mistake – she is not as inching to talk to you as you are to her.

Asking the following questions once as an icebreaker is okay.

But you are probably boring her if you are repeating questions like these:

  • What’s up?
  • How’s life?
  • What are you doing?
  • Do you have plans today?

Here’s what not to do –

 Boy: Hi, what’s up?

Girl: Nothing much

Boy: How’s life?

Girl: It’s good

Boy: So, everything good…

Girl: Ya

Stop, look at the number of times the boy has repeated generic questions.

Also, you appear to be non-interested in her.

Have more energy.

The rule is – ” do not ask a generic question more than once”.

Check out interesting conversation starters that can save you out!

2) Choose a common interest to start the conversation 

Even if you don’t know how to be humorous or witty, simply appear to be interested and more excited for a conversation.

Boy: Hi, what’s up?

Girl: Nothing much

Boy: I saw your post on Facebook the other day about music. I like the same music band too .

Girl: Really, I have been crazy about them. Isn’t their new song such a rad?

Boy: Totally. I used to be an old-school music lover… but this band sounds good.

After the first sentence, here you can choose an interest of hers and decide to talk about that.

This conversation not only helps you get to know her but then she realizes that you probably observe her social media activities too.

One of the things to text a girl is always a common interest between you guys.

3) Do not drag on an uninteresting topic of discussion 

How to know if the things that interest you also interest her?

Well, it’s not that difficult.

Observe her responses, if she asks a question back or gives a genuine insightful response then it’s a good topic.

But if she says things like – “Cool”, “Sure”, or just a smiley, then boy this is not what you want to talk about!

Boy: Hey, do you like Game of Thrones?

Girl: It’s okay.

Boy: Really? I love GOT. I think I am like Jon Snow

Girl: Cool

Boy: Would you rather have a dragon or wolves?

Girl: Ummm.. a dog maybe. 🙂

In this example, she is clearly not interested in the topic, and yet the boy continues to talk about it.

After a point, this conversation is likely to bore her.

4) Learn to Turn Things Around

Always remember it is important to give the other person a chance to speak about their interests.

This does not mean that you have to like the same things as she does.

Agree to disagree. Girls are turned on by men who can appreciate their choice but without letting go of their integrity.

Here’s how the conversation can be turned around…

Boy: Hey, do you like Game of Thrones?

Girl: It’s okay.

Boy: Really? So, do you feel it’s overhyped?

Girl: Yes, I just don’t get why people are so taken with it.

Boy: Maybe because it has a great storyline. What say?

Girl: I haven’t seen a lot of seasons.

Boy: So, do you not like TV series at all or something else?

Girl: I really like FRIENDS…

Even when you disagreed or had a different taste, you let her speak her mind…and finally discovered what TV shows she liked.

5) Be smart and witty, and have a sense of humor

Being witty is a character strength, and men should not be hiding it.

Humour in a conversation is a breath of fresh air.

While you don’t want your funny stories to be too fictitious, but it helps to keep a stack of them when starting a text conversation.

Think about the stuff that you find funny and use them as one-liners.

Girl: Ahh, you found out my pet name. Not funny.

Boy: I think it’s really funny. Boy: I have been called so much worse though.

Girl: Haha, like what?

Boy: Like your boyfriend!

Cheeky, but cute. Keep it simple. If you want to impress her, be a hero without overwhelming her,  learn all about it here.

6) Be Positive and Open-Minded

It’s essential to have a positive topic for discussion when you start texting a girl. Most people enjoy positive things like interests, hobbies, culture, and ambitions.

Starting a topic that is relevant to happiness or some sort of positivity is always better than starting a negative one.

What you want to do is to bring her up not pull her down!

Starting a conversation like how exhausting your day was or how you had a hard time in the office, exudes a lot of negative vibes.

When you first start texting a girl, it takes time to build up a friendship, and till she becomes your venting pal.

Also, she too has a life and may have responsibilities to take care of.

Burdening her with your issues is the last thing you want to do.

Regardless of how your day went, try to say something funny or happy.

Like… “Hey, I had a long day, but texting you makes me afresh”.

If you are too tired to be positive, take a pause, and tell her honestly that you need some rest. Girls appreciate an honest response rather than a forceful one.

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7) Check your Grammar and Spelling

I cannot emphasize enough how girls totally judge boys on their grammar and spelling.

Gone are the days when texting things like “gr8, havn a gud tym” and random words were considered cool.

Boys who speak perfect grammar and have good vocabs appear to be smart and knowledgeable.

But this can be a double-edged sword.

If you start texting impeccable sentences and quoting Shakespeare out of the blue, you can sound uptight and geeky.

But if you abbreviate too much it appears like you are still in the last decade, or someone who is still in middle school.

Boy: hey girrrrl, how arreee ya?

Girl: Umm.. Okay. How are you?

Boy: Kewl. Let’s catch uppppppp.

That example appears needy.

Don’t use too many ‘r’ and ‘p’ when you are typing a word.

The perfect way to text is how you normally speak.

A good blend of grammar but with a couple of flaws, to make it seem real.

You don’t need a google or use ‘grammar correction’ unless you have a challenge with the language itself.

8) Play Hard to Get

Playing hard to get is a mix of doing multiple things right.

It is one of those tricks that help to get her attention.

But too much distance can make her disinterested. The trick is to push a little and pull a lot more.

Here’s how it can over a text:

When she is texting rapidly, you can say you are busy.

But ask her to wait for you a little and get back to her later. Make her feel special and worth the wait.

You share with her something personal but not the whole story.

Only tell a little and keep her curious.

Tell her that you are free on the weekend but don’t directly ask her out.

Wait for her to leave hints of interest.

You can also mention your other female friends, but make sure to say that they are just like sisters to you and mean nothing more!

9) Be Playful and Flirty

The idea of a text is not to have a deep conversation but to take a chill pill.

Keep it light-hearted, and unless you want to get friend-zoned, keep the texts fun, and avoid common replies.

Girl: So, what’s your hobby?

Boy: Hobby? I drink and I know things. Achievement unlocked. 

Keeping up a light-hearted conversation tease is a breath of fresh air.

But make sure you don’t come across as needy or creepy. Be flirty but always maintain a healthy distance.

Boy: Wanna Netflix and chill tonight? 

Girl: Sorry I’m busy. 

Boy: Damn, get ready for spoilers then!

Girl: No way! Don’t. 

Boy: It’s either spoilers or pizza

Girl: Cool, I will come over tomorrow.

Should you reply immediately?

Maybe Not! 

Replying to her immediately all the time gives her the impression that you are free or jobless.

So, give mixed replies. Sometimes reply instantly, other times takes some time gap between your replies.

Golden Rule

The golden rule is if she takes 15 mins to respond back to you, make her wait at least 30 minutes.

But do this only when you are rapidly texting each other.

This trick keeps the girl hooked, she will constantly check her phone and wonder, why you are taking so long!

10) Is it time to ask her out yet?

One of the things that boys always mess up is knowing what a girl feels about them. It’s true that girls leave behind hints that she likes you.

But men being men, most cannot pick up such hints.

Most of the time boys don’t have the slightest hint that they should ask the girl out.

The worst-case scenario happens if you are too late and the girl feels that you don’t intend to ask her out.

She may move on to a different person.

Here are a few signs that can mean that she is interested – 

  • She starts responding to you instantly
  • She waits for you to text her
  • She asks your opinion even though you are not her partner yet
  • She sends attractive images to you
  • She tries to ask if you are dating other girls
  • She tries to flirt with you and know what you feel about her

If you find any of these signs and see them repeating, it’s likely that she is interested in you.

Indeed, many times guys keep waiting for her approval and forget to ask her out altogether!

While waiting for her to text you back or tell you upfront, it’s wise to make the first move.

11) Do not flood your text with emojis

Try not to flood the conversation with emojis and punctuation.

Such emojis make your instant messages hard to understand, and the real essence of texting is lost.

Emojis are like spices in cooking; too much is distasteful while too little doesn’t bring out the flavor.

A winking emoji roll your eyes, facepalm are some fun emojis to exhibit reactions.

Using too many causes it to lose its intrigue.

Golden Rule:

The rule for emoticons is 1/2 in every 6-7 sentences.

12) Drunk Texting? Good or Bad?

Imagine getting a drunk call from your crush, girls do like it.

But what about a drunk text?

Now, this can be a double-edged sword.

You may end up saying something sweet that she cherishes, or you may end up hurting her.

Texting a girl while drunk is only a smart thought when you are slightly intoxicated but haven’t entirely lost your senses.

If you are tipsy then you may drop a text or a flirty message and enjoy the effect of the booze.

But if you are too drunk, we’re almost certain that, you’ll wind up embarrassing yourself by saying something dumb and clearly sexual.

So, too drunk?

Steer clear of humiliating yourself! 

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13) Don’t get angry or impatient if she doesn’t reply quickly

There are two reasons why people do not respond quickly:

  • They are busy or unwell, they have something on their minds
  • They are playing hard to get

First Ask her if she’s busy or she is okay.

She might be doing something else or something might be on her mind. Also, it is irrational to expect her to respond to you immediately if she is not your girlfriend.

Do not be over-possessive or demanding while texting, this appears cringy.

14) Use her name

Don’t start addressing a girl as “baby” or ” babe” unless you have developed a personal bonding. Using a pet name can be a little offensive.

When you use a pet name, here’s what she might be thinking about:

  • ” Baby? Dude, I am not his baby”!
  • ” Whoa! such a Flirt! He probably does that with everyone and forgot my name”

Either way, the impression is that you did not value the time and rushed into this pet name.

Using her name occasionally in text adds emphasis to the sentence.

Without Name: Boy: ” You look beautiful”
With Name:  Boy: ” Joy, You are so beautiful” 

See, how you can also change the sentence structure slightly to make it appear personal.

Golden Rule

Address her with her name unless you go on a date. Once you have shared some good moments it will feel natural to address her with a pet name.

15) Engage her in your Lifestyle

One of the ways to get personal with anyone is to involve her in your lifestyle. And many girls find it interesting to know what you have been up to!

So, if you play guitar or cook, or do anything worth sharing, drop a picture in the text.

Boy: Hey, I picked up this new tune today. Do u like it?
Girl: Wow, I never knew you were such a good musician. 

Instead of asking questions, you can use pictures to share your interests.

She will be excited because this feels like an inclusion like you want her to be a part of your activities.

That’s really intriguing to girls!

If you did something macho or manly, then you can also add a little humor to your texts :

Boy: * Image of manly or fun activity* Because I was getting bored!

Do not overwhelm her with these images. One image in 2 weeks is good, but more than that feels like you are showing off!

16) Remember the Dates

When you are initially starting to text and if you want to impress her, it is great to remember the dates.

The birthday or any other special day that might have meaning to both of you.

Casually mention in conversations like –

Boy: “Hey, I wonder what you are planning for your birthday!” or, “Hey, it’s almost been two months we have been talking”. 

Stating that you remember a date is no good. However, you can drop a small surprise on the day and impress her.

17) Pay Attention to the Details

Women love it when men listen to them with concentration.

Most men pretend to listen to women, but then end up forgetting the details she might have said.

Pay attention and listen to the small things – her reactions, her likes and dislikes, perceptions, and other aspects of her personality.

If you can make her assured that you are the kind of person who remembers what she told you, then you are winning the game.

This proves that she is important to you and she’ll think of you highly.

Instead of just showing that you remember things about her, send encouraging, ‘sweet’ texts (the kind that a boyfriend would send) when she mentions something big in her life.

For example:

If she has an interview or a presentation or she is excited about an event, be supportive, and wish her the best.

This shows you care enough to remember her special event.

Not a detail-oriented person?

Learn how to be!

18) Think from her Perspective

Once you get to know a girl you are likely to form an opinion about her.

You may disagree with her or feel her approach isn’t correct.

But it is essential to think from her perspective.

If she has suddenly stopped responding or is behaving differently, something might have happened.

Try to trace back the conversations you have had if there has been any hint of anger or sadness.

Instead of being angry or upset, thinking from her perspective makes you help her.

19) Reply to a conversation with a question

First, do not forget to reply. It displays good manners and courtesy. If you are busy, say that, get back to her later.

If you reply too late it shows you are not interested. So, be cautious when you are texting.

Sometimes we come to a dead-end in our conversations.

To keep it going, you can reply to the text with an ending question. This ensures that the text chat is not halted.

Drying of ideas, here are a bunch of questions to ask a girl.

20) Little Compliment, but not too much!

Complimenting a girl can be a big challenge for many boys.

You need to be unique and coy however, you don’t want to appear creepy or cringy.

The best compliments for a girl should make her feel special. They show that you perceive the things that make her stand out.

You can text sweet things to show how mindful and perceptive you can be.

Things to Write:

  • “I really appreciate how compassionate you can be. That is an adorable thing about you” 
  • “You are a beautiful person, not just to look at but also to be with” 
  • “Girl, you are one hell of a person. Sunshine with a little hurricane” 

Always highlight qualities that are not just her body or external features, but also represent her personality.

Do not write:

“You are hot”, ” How sexy you look!” 

These are very superficial.

There’s nothing wrong with telling a girl that she’s good-looking, yet these writings don’t show that you put any idea into them.

Compliments that she’ll really acknowledge should be closer to home and explicit.

21) Be a man, and show her your good traits

You are smart, witty, and funny – and these are all the traits you need to show her to impress her.

But she would not like to be told any of those things over text. It just won’t be appealing enough.

And if you brag about your traits, it is likely to put her off.

So, how to go about it? Be subtle and smart!

Rather than disclosing to her straight-out how awesome you are, show by pictures, videos, or simply texts.

Use messaging to ask her on a date, where you can show her how wonderful you are, rather than boasting about yourself.

Can’t find a trait? Here are 551 hobbies to try.

Things you can write:

  • “I completed my book a week ago, do you have any suggestions?”
  • “I am a dog person. I love how honest dogs are. Sometimes I go to the dog shelter to assist them, we can go together”

In those texts, you put the emphasis on her as opposed to bragging about yourself.

Try not to send these texts:

“I don’t think someone from a community college can match my intellect, I am from Ivy League college”

Clearly, these are presumptuous and edgy and a major turn-off.

22) Don’t Overwhelm her with your texts

Even though it is just texting, it is still a conversation.

To have a good connection it is important that both of you should participate in the text.

Overwhelming her with “Good morning”, or ” Good Night” messages is a strict no-no. Do not send lame-forward messages that make no sense.

In case you’re discussing a specific subject, remain on that topic until there’s nothing to state about it any longer.

Try not to present new topics in her answer. It’s much the same as talking over her in a real discussion.

23)  Sexting? Hold your Horses!

One of the things that boys do as soon as they start texting a girl is to engage in a sexual conversation.

Do not jump the gun!

Asking for sensual images, talking naughty and all being close only works if:

  • She is your girlfriend and wants it too
  • She is looking for passing the time

If you are serious about her, try to form a connection or bonding rather than just sexting!

Here’s a bunch of topics to talk about with a girl.

24) Steer Clear of inappropriate jokes or topics

The word inappropriate is very relative but in general avoid anything sexual, misogynist, supremacist, annoying, or mean.

It’s easy for her to misunderstand these jokes and you might be appearing like a disrespectful person.

Racist comments, even being sarcastic is not cool.

Women love classy men. Be a gentleman, during the first few conversations unless you know her better. Don’t rely upon offending jokes to be entertaining.

It is better to laugh at oneself than to laugh at others.

What not to write

  • “I wonder why she is with such a person. He looks disgusting”
  • “My friend is so lame, why can’t he be the way I am”

25) Be the best version of Yourself

You can start a text chat by showing off how cool you are, but if that is not the real you, it is never going to stick.

So, the best idea is to be yourself, and be honest with your intentions.

Do not try to trick her into liking things about you that you are not.

It’s important to know the difference between a long-term relationship or a short-term flick. (Know more about true love vs. Infatuation)

If she eventually finds out that you were lying, she is likely to be upset about it.

So, after a few conversations, it’s smart to be natural and respectful towards her.

In Conclusion…

Texting a girl is not rocket science but it takes commitment, patience, self-control, and A LOT of self-confidence.

If you put into action the tips here, you can learn how to win a girl’s heart with text messages without relying on modern-day seduction tricks.

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To recap, here are the tips again.

How do you text a girl you like?

Do the following:

  • Don’t bore girls with your generic texts
  • Choose a common interest to start the conversation
  • Do not drag an uninteresting topic of discussion
  • Learn to Turn the Things Around
  • Be smart and witty, and have a sense of humor
  • Be Positive and Open-Minded
  • Check Your Grammar and Spelling
  • Play Hard to Get
  • Be Playful and Flirty
  • Don’t ask her out too early
  • Do not flood your text with emojis
  • Don’t drink and text
  • Don’t get angry or impatient if she doesn’t reply quickly
  • Use her name
  • Engage her in your Lifestyle
  • Remember the Dates
  • Pay Attention to the Details
  • Think from her Perspective
  • Reply to a conversation with a question
  • Little Compliment, but not too much!
  • Be a man, and show her your good traits
  • Don’t Overwhelm her with your texts
  • Sexting? Hold your Horses!
  • Steer Clear of inappropriate jokes or topics
  • Be the best version of Yourself

So get out there and use them!

Let me know what you think in the comment section below…

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