How to Start a Conversation With a Girl on Text (How to Start Texting Her)

How to start a conversation with a girl over text

  • So, how do you initiate text with a new cute girl?
  • What should you text a girl to start a conversation?
  • What are some fun ways to start a text conversation with a girl?

These and many more will be thoroughly answered in this comprehensive article.

So let’s get the ball rolling…

We all know that dating has changed a whole lot compared to not even such a long time again.

Back in the day, we would never have imagined that online dating would become the new way to meet people.

When you do find someone you find yourself attracted to, then texting becomes an imperative part of dating.

If you are a guy and you have met a crush with whom you want to take things further, then texting is a vital skill that you will need in order to conquer that girl and win her heart. 

Texting is a very handy tool because for some guys it’s less nerve-wracking than making a phone call, for a while at least.

Texting adds a whole new set of rules to the world of dating.

Remember that texting isn’t dating though, but it’s necessary to chat with a girl over text while trying to build something seriously out of it.

But there are important things to bear in mind so you don’t get carried away and mess up which can irritate her, and cause her to end the friendship and your chances.

So we are going to talk about things to do and to avoid when you are texting a girl so you keep the conversation going until you ask her for that all-important date!

What Will I Learn?

For a guy, there are some expectations that he needs to know when it comes to texting girls…

It’s hard enough meeting the expectations of a girl when she can see and hear you! But now, you have to try and win her over with text.

  • How on earth do you start a text conversation with a girl?
  • And how do you flirt with a girl using text? 

It can appear quite daunting to get started. But never fear, we’ve got 11 of the best tips on how to get started texting a girl.

Plus, we give you a couple of samples so that you will be A-for-Away in no time.

Because remember, doing it right can lead to more dates.

But if you do it wrong, it’s that simple … it’s not likely to lead to more dates.

Good texting skills show off your charm and personality whereas bad texting can make you appear disinterested, arrogant, boring – the list goes on.

So how do you text a girl? 

Well, you don’t have to be a poet at all, and you don’t have to download heaps of high-tech apps to get going with texting.

Basically, it’s just applying rules that we all believe in and live by and which are so important in texting.

These are being polite, having fun, and showing respect.

These three rules will make your messages clear and attractive to her and let her know you are interested in her.

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How to Start a Conversation With a Girl Through Text (11+ Best Ways)

smiling guy sending text

Step 1: Send her a text within 24 hours of meeting her

These days, girls expect a guy to contact them within 24 hours after a meeting.

It means that if you wait longer than that, a girl is likely to think you weren’t really interested in the first place.

Good texts:

  • “Hey (put her name here), it’s Ryan from this morning’s meeting!”
  • “Hi (her name), I’m glad Stella introduced us yesterday.”

They are simple and to-the-point texts to get you started and they will make sure she remembers you and knows you are interested.

Not the type of text to send:

  • “Hey, it’s Ryan from Stella’s party last week. What’s up?”

 It’s not bad or rude but she will notice that it took you a looooong time to figure out that you were interested in her.

Step 2: Know what to text her

Once you have gotten started with texting her, you will need to know what kind of texting to send that will keep conversations fresh and not boring.

She will want that and like you for holding her attention so well.

As you get to know her, you will find more stuff to talk to her about naturally.

Don’t let your texting become boring and a chore to you though; something you dread doing or are not in the mood to do anymore.

It will soon become apparent that this is the case.

Check these out:

Good texts:

  • “When was the last time you got in trouble?”
  • “What are you most attracted to in another person?”
  • “What do you think is the most disappointing thing about growing up?”

These keep the conversation going and are interesting.

Not the type of text to send:

  • “Do you like movies?”

Remember, all she can basically say to the above question is yes or no.

So the conversation won’t really go anywhere.

Choose open-ended questions so that she opens up about herself.

Another good option is to send her a good morning text to wake her up and let her know you were thinking of her first thing in the morning.

You could start a convo that could literally last the whole day!

Encouraging good morning texts is nice because they make her feel cared for and valued – a great start to the morning.

Something like this:

  • “Good luck on your exam today! You’re gonna do great!”
  • “I hope your meeting goes well this morning. Can’t wait to hear about it.”

Step 3: Use her name so she knows exactly that it’s for her!

It’s not a good idea to use a pet name straight away.

She will just think you have forgotten her real name.

She will also wonder why you are calling her pet names when the two of you have just met.

And if you don’t use her name at all, she might think you are sending texts out to other girls too!

You don’t want her thinking any of the above, so for the first time, you use text to her, use her actual name.

Here are good examples:

  • “Hey (her name)! How was the rest of your weekend?”
  • “(Her name)! Great meeting you!”

Step 4: Use good grammar and spelling

Spelling and grammar are all important because it shows respect and intelligence.

Maybe in high school, it was OK still to make spelling mistakes with the wrong use of grammar.

But if you want to appear as a mature, intelligent guy, then good grammar and correct spelling are needed because it shows interest.

Otherwise, you could also come across as too lazy to care.

Look at these good ones as examples:

  • “Hi (her name)! Nice to meet you yesterday. You made a boring work event kind of fun.” That would

Not a good idea:

  • “Heyy (her name), i had fun at the event, good 2 meet u there.”

Step 5: Text with the purpose of getting a date

Don’t forget that you are texting back and forth with your crush with the sole purpose of getting a date, right?

So it’s best not to just send random texts that won’t help you achieve that.

Otherwise, she might start losing interest in you and think you are just a friendly guy!

Your texting must be to compliment her, to entertain her, and then lead to asking her for a date.

Remember, too, that even complimenting her will prove useless unless you actually get around to asking her out.

You could start with a good text like “I was just thinking about you,” or “Do you have a second for me to call?”

These types of texts promise something to her and will make her feel good.

Then you can call her up in person and ask her for a date.

You wouldn’t send a text like “It’s crazy cold today, right?” or “What’s up?”

These don’t serve any purpose, they’re just for the sake of talking and won’t get you any closer to her or dating her.

Step 6: Make her wait to hear from you

Girls are looking for guys who have a job, hobbies, friends, and a life away from them.

She doesn’t want someone to ask her for a date and then cling to her and act as if he owns her, just happy to text and let his guy friends think he is ‘dating’.

Let your girl wait a while in-between texts like you have a life.

Don’t answer the minute she texts you.

Leave a few minutes between your responses.

Once you have had a date, then you can match her speed and tone when you text in the future.

But now, you can even send her pics of you enjoying your exciting hobbies, like you’re busy and active with other stuff.

Good ones in this regard are “Sorry I haven’t responded in a while, work is crazy today.”

Remember not to just send any random kind of text every five minutes to her.

And don’t answer her immediately.

She needs to see you have a great life besides talking to her

Step 7: Remember the compliments

Figuring out how to compliment a girl can be tricky. 

You want to be original and flirty but you also don’t want to come across as creepy.

The best compliments for a girl will be to make her feel unique – compliments that show that you recognize the things that make her special.

Use your compliments to demonstrate to her how observant and thoughtful you can be.

Good texts to send:

  • “I’ve never seen someone make friends so easily. You’re such a friendly, lovable person”. Or what about this? “I love the way your mind works. You’re so thoughtful and intelligent.”

These types of texts compliment her on something specific she has and shows how you appreciate her for that quality.

You are showing her you are interested in her as a complete person and not just an attractive girl.

Don’t send texts like this:

  • “You’re so funny!”
  • “You looked really hot yesterday.”

Whilst there is nothing wrong with telling a girl that she is funny or attractive, they’re texts that don’t really show that you put much thought into them.

If she knows that you were really thinking of her and being personal and specific, that will be appreciated by her.

Step 8: Feel free to joke with her, but keep away from inappropriate joking

What are inappropriate jokes, you might be asking?

Well, anything that is sexist, sexual, insulting, racist, or just plain mean.

Anybody and not just your new crush might misinterpret any of these types of jokes.

They might think you are serious, or joke about something that others consider very serious, and this might include your new babe.

You want to be a timeless, classic, classy guy, not common, crude, or insulting.

Show her that you can laugh at yourself and that you don’t need to include this type of inappropriate stuff to make an impression.

So a good text to send might be something like, “So you’ll never believe the stupid thing I just did…”

A girl will enjoy that you are someone who can laugh at himself.

It shows confidence, and that is a very sexy characteristic to have for women.

Don’t send any texts that are racist, sexual, sexist, or insulting.

If you aren’t sure, and you think it might be a bit risky to send, don’t send it.

Rather wait to meet a girl face-to-face and spend more time with her while you figure out what her sense of humor is like.

Step 9: Don’t just text her constantly back and forth when you can pick up the phone and call her

Girls can get confused when you constantly text them, but nothing else happens.

She’ll be wondering why you aren’t phoning her, particularly if she is starting to really like you.

She would naturally think that from texting if you liked her, it would automatically follow that you would phone her.

Why so?

Because as you do get closer to starting a relationship, you will find that texting does get less and less because you are spending more time on the phone, right?

It’s like moving forward, taking the next step.

A good text to send:

  • “Hey, I’m just sitting at home right now… can I call you?”

If the girl likes you and you know from her answers that she likes you, she will want to talk to you physically.

She will be wondering when you will ask her out.

This means that if you aren’t doing anything important in-between texting her, call her.

Don’t send this type of text:

  • “What’s up? I’m just chilling at home.”

Step 10: Leave sex out of your texting at the beginning

If you are wondering how to text a girl and flirt with her at the same time, it is really important, this tenth tip, to leave sex out of your texting.

Of course, you can tell a girl she is attractive, nothing wrong with that, but don’t rush in straight away with sex on your mind.

In this modern day and age, some girls do like sexual banter and some don’t. See what you think.

Check out these mistakes to learn from:

  • Don’t ask for sexy pics of her until you have actually physically seen her body.
  • Don’t describe the stuff you want to do with her until she is the one who physically lets you do it.
  • Don’t ever, ever, send her pictures of you before she asks you to.

Step 11: Flirting is fun with her over text

Flirting is your chance to show your girl that you want to be more than just friends.

Flirting with a girl in person involves body language and physical touch – things that get lost when texting.

That’s why it’s important to know how to flirt with a girl over texting.

It’s important to keep the playful attitude you would normally have – now you are just channeling it into flirty texts.

Look at these good texts to send:

  • “Don’t work too hard today. You’re going to need some energy for when we hang out later.”
  • “I had to change your name in my contacts… I was getting way too excited every time your name popped up”.
  • “Which emoji makes you think of me?”

These messages are really great and they are a perfect blend of being both playful and suggestive at the same time.

By telling her that you are flirting with her over text shows her your good sense of humor too.

Type of texts not to send:

  • “Netflix and chill?”
  • You up?
  • Send me a sexy selfie.

These messages aren’t really flirting.

When you’re texting a girl you should be putting in the effort to write a special message to her that will make her smile and allow her to flirt back

…Like “You looked so pretty yesterday!” or “Thanks for a really great date (and awesome kiss).”

Step 12: Show her your best self

That means to remember to be yourself – keep away from fake texting, meaning don’t try and sound or be someone else over text that you are not.

Keep to stuff you are comfortable with, so that when she meets you, your text and the real you match up.

And don’t text stuff that you should rather save for when you see your babe in person.

Remember, dating is sharing your life with the girl of your choice.

Bottom line is, you need to be yourself, but don’t reveal all your secrets during texting because she will find them all out in time when you get to know each other in person.

Here’s a good type of text to send:

  • “I’m in the middle of a Star Wars marathon right now with some buddies… guess I’m a total dork.”
  • “I’ve never dated a girl as good as you.”

Type of texts not to send:

  • “One of my biggest fantasies is to make out with a girl dressed as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi.”
  • “I actually have a lot of emotional baggage since my ex left me…”

These types of texts might be true, but she doesn’t need to know this right now.

Show her your deepest secrets slowly.

Some more quick tips without going into detail:

1) Say the sweetest things to her:

We’re often taught that men should be tough and control their emotions.

Often we think that sweetness, kindness, and gentleness are feminine traits.

But girls love to hear the sweetest things from their guys because it shows they care.

2) Remember stuff she tells you about her family…

…because women want to be listened to, and they love a guy who remembers what they say.

Remembering stuff about her family shows her that you are into her.

3) Don’t count on teasing her as the only way to keep her attention: 

Girls often think guys are a bit cowardly and constantly hide their feelings behind teasing.

She wants honesty about her prettiness, smartness, etc.

She doesn’t want to realize that you tease her a lot because you are scared of showing her the real you.

4) Don’t just stop texting her:

Well, at least not without any explanation.

The entire point of texting is to get to ask a girl out on a date, the entire point of texting.

But when you have the date, don’t just stop texting.

Want to know how long you should be texting before you ask her out?

After about two days, you should ask her out.

She will be waiting for it, if she likes you and if she is keen.

Hope these tips have helped you to use texting to get that date.

And it’s important to get the date because girls do assume that men don’t have a real interest in them or dating them if you just text without ever asking them out.

So it’s best you don’t let her write you off before you even got the chance.

You need to get to the point and ask her out.

Good texts to send:

  • “Can I call you tonight after work?” (to ask her out during the call)
  • “Talking to you has really been great. We should continue this
  • conversation in person soon… do you have dinner plans on
  • Saturday?” (at the end of a day, two at most, of texting)

Not good types of text to send:

  •  “You’re so funny! But I don’t know if I agree with you about XYZ!”
  • “You’re so cute.”

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What’s the right way to convince a girl to date me over text? To get her interested?

Leave her with a smile. No boring texts. Keep your texts short and just communicate one idea at a time.

How do I ask a girl out on a date though, through text?

You can start with something just simple, like “Hey, I just wanted to confirm that we're still on for tonight!”

But how would I keep her interested in me?

Show her how you feel and show interest in her. Be trustworthy. Get romantic with her, showing your sweet side and making her feel special. Be playful too.


Texting today has become a huge part of dating today.

That’s because it’s easy, it’s convenient and it’s a good way of communicating and finding out more about a person.

But all right, lots of guys will say that if texting is so easy, why is it that the girl they hope to date isn’t texting back?

Yes, that can be pretty hurtful, especially when it is someone you particularly – you believed that texting would eventually lead you on to a date.

But if she didn’t text you back, it can be simply that she chose not to.

That’s what is called ghosting in the texting world.

It is actually a girl or a guy who rejects you, but there is no finality to it.

It’s when someone just stops answering your texts or even your calls, but they don’t give you a reason.

It can come from nowhere and can leave you feeling rejected, confused, hurt, and in some cases, even paranoid.

There is only one thing you can do about ghosting and that is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on moving – forward.

The best thing for you is not to text back if you can see things aren’t going anywhere.

If you can see a girl subtly letting you know she is not interested in you, then move on.

We have given you 11, no, and 12 tips on how to text a girl because it’s a very important skill for how to get a girlfriend.

That doesn’t mean it should be difficult.

It should be a whole lot of fun, and not stressful.

If you have found a babe that you can’t resist, now’s the time to charge your phone up and warm up your fingers, because our tips might have turned you into the expert on how to text a girl – and get that date!!