How to Save My Marriage Alone – 17 Tips That’ll Help You Fight For Your Marriage Alone…

So…

These and many more will be answered in this comprehensive article…

Many of us married, and even those in a long-term relationship will know only too well how stagnation, boredom, and feeling buried in a rut take a toll on our relationship.

Many of us have secretly dreamed of escaping from marriage.

Some others might be standing at the divorce courts pretty soon – others are trying to recapture the past by starting an affair, someone whom we hope will make us feel like we did years and years ago when we first got married.

Simply put, many of us are no longer in love with our partners.

Fortunately, we have some tips to help you if you feel similar to what we described above.

We have some creative ideas that might just put the spark back.

Maybe you are reading this and thinking that your marriage could never be saved.

You want it to be saved, but you can see all the signs that it’s on the rocks.

In fact, you believe it’s too late to try and save your marriage.

But let us show you some signs that it is possible that your marriage can be saved; yours as well!.

There are some signs that signal that it does still have a chance.

It is true that some marriages end because both partners are happy to get out and leave all the unhappiness behind.

But on the other hand, often in the marriage, one partner often wants to save the marriage.

That what Dr. Joe Beam, the founder of Marriage Helper, says.

Rachel Russo is another expert.

She is a New York City-based dating and relationship expert and coach and has a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.

H2: How to Save a Marriage Alone – Check Out These 17 Tips

Here are 17 ways to save your marriage alone so that you are a team again…

1) You can reignite the spark

There are many benefits and beautiful things about being in a long-term relationship.

Research shows happy couples have better health and well-being than their divorced or single peers.

In marriage, a loving partner will be there for you at all times, when you are feeling down or when you have lost your job, for example.

They are there as support and backup, ready to offer emotional support when needed.

It’s just unfortunate that some couples lose the spark – one which can be ignited again, though.

Perhaps you have allowed other interests to take the place of each other.

The experts suggest that you find your way back in again, even if you do it alone!

2) It requires a radical shift in your mindset

There is good news if you are willing to put more effort into saving your marriage.

If you want to break the cycle of an unhappy relationship, then a dynamic shift in mindset is required.

You are at a fantastic starting point when you take responsibility for your part in the conflict or dispute that has become your marriage.

Just you alone having the ability to do something can change the whole dynamic of the relationship.

Read how someone did just that, and you can too!

3) Eliminate the three ‘As’ that that could have been responsible for your marriage falling down

What are the three A-s?

They are Anger, Addiction, and Affairs.

It’s plain and simple, really – it is not necessary that you read advice from the relationship experts to understand how these three things are absolute killers of a marriage.

They are out of bounds in a healthy marriage.

If you are indulging in any of these three self-defeating destroyers of relationships, you need to let go of this habit and fast.

If your spouse is the one who falls in these three A-s, then in this instance, trying to save this type of marriage might not be in your best interests at all.

You might be making a big mistake trying to save it.

4) Sleep closer together

You will again experience that same rush of brain chemicals sleeping closer to your partner, and not just sexually.

When you sleep comfortingly next to each other, it certainly has terrific benefits.

A 2014 survey presented at the Edinburgh International Science Festival discovered that couples who slept the closest to each other reported experiencing more relationship satisfaction.

The research didn’t cover whether sleeping apart causes dissatisfaction, however.

But for you who want to try and save your marriage, try and get closer and see how your partner will probably love it too; they will notice the difference you are making.

5) Start to limit technology and give the time of day to your partner with lovely conversations

Maybe now is the time, if you want to work on your marriage from your side, to put yourself on a technology diet.

Nothing kills communication or romance faster than people whom you are trying to talk to, who have their cellphones in hand, who are only half-listening to what you say while keeping their eyes glued on their phones most of the time.

No wonder in a 2014 Brigham Young University survey of heterosexual women, 70% felt that technology like smartphones and other devices were interfering with their love lives, killing them.

For your part, it is suggested that you do away with your phone and television at mealtimes with your partner and when you enter the bedroom.

Only use technology at specific times when it does not appear as if it is the number one love of your life.

Give your spouse your full attention so they do not feel disconnected from you because you are talking to them with your cell phone in your hand.

6) Take a break

It could be that family and work obligations have made it so that your love life falls at the bottom of the queue.

But you can schedule some time off from these obligations.

A break, particularly in nature, helps you to focus on each other again.

Even just a weekend where you show a side of you that your partner might not have seen in you for a long time – can undoubtedly refresh your bonds.

It might be a good time to discuss what you will do on the holiday or the break ahead of time so you both know what to expect.

Hopefully, it will be with no pressure and just happy times of spending top quality time with each other, laughing, and talking the way old friends do!

7) Say thank you

Often when you fall into habits in a relationship, you often take for granted the nice things that a spouse does for you.

You forget to let them know how thankful you are.

Gratitude is extremely important. 

It fosters a sense of well-being and closeness with your spouse because you notice and appreciate them.

8) Compliment your spouse

Sometimes you get so used to your partner, and particularly if the marriage is not going well, a lot of focus is put on the negative stuff.

This often leads to nagging, saying hurtful things, and voicing your dissatisfaction.

It is worth your while to try and focus more on the good things that your spouse does and less on the bad.

This is a good analogy: “Water what you want to grow; don’t water the weeds.”

When you let your spouse know the things you love about them, you start to see them more positively.

They, too, will want to give back more of what you compliment them on.

It builds relationships – genuine compliments that go backward and forward between you two.

9) Add some surprise

To relieve the humdrum of marriage, particularly one that is falling apart, you can change things by adding a bit of surprise, excitement, and thoughtfulness into the mix.

What about taking turns so that each weekend one of you has to surprise the other with some surprise activity or outing?

That will require no groaning and moaning about the stuff your spouse comes up with; only smiles, charm, and laughs from you accompany these outings.

See how it bonds you together with all the laughs and fun you have – like getting to know each other again!

10) Cultivate your interests

When your marriage is on the rocks, it might also be because you are complaining to your partner that he or she always leaves you over the weekend while they go off and do stuff.

But now is an excellent time to find something that you love doing – something that you can put your passion into, something that you can chat with your spouse about and let them become interested in it with you as well.

When you are not satisfied with your own life, you will criticize others more, including your spouse.

Having a full, happy, and busy life makes you much more interesting, admirable, and enjoyable to be around.

11) What are your spouse’s passions?

 Observe your partner’s passions because it’s essential that they have a passion that you can enjoy with them.

You might never share their passion for what they love doing, but you can happily navigate their passion with them, honoring their talent and watching them being in their element.

12) Go on double dates

It is not necessary to suddenly spend all your time with your spouse if you are trying to save your marriage.

The Wayne State University did a study in 2014 studying people who went on double dates.

Couples said they felt more affectionate and romantic toward their spouse watching him or her interacting with friends.

Praising and flirting with each other.

Of course, flirting can be different depending on each couple, so it might even feel a bit awkward at the beginning. 

But it can add some excitement and romance again, as long as you are comfortable and having fun.

13) Get some pillow talk

Perhaps at this stage of your marriage, you are no longer having sex – you might even be sleeping in separate rooms.

But if you put some of the above into practice, adding some romance again, it might be that something led up to you having sex.

It has been said in research from 2013 from the University of Connecticut that couples who spoke positively to each other after sex reported greater relationship satisfaction than those who didn’t.

If you have managed to indulge in sex again, spend a few extra minutes afterward snuggling and chatting.

You will see how it adds happiness and tightens bonds.

14) No more games

If your marriage is nearly over, you probably already feel distant from your partner.

If you are a woman, you might think a sexy dress or a sexier body might get his attention, and sure, it might work, but it could also backfire.

If he or she hasn’t noticed yet that you are trying to work at the marriage, it might leave you feeling silly and resentful that it didn’t go as planned.

It might be better if you were to sit down with your spouse, then tell them about what you feel, saying something like, “I don’t feel particularly connected to you right now, and I have some thoughts about what I’d like to do differently to make us feel closer.”

That way, it’s not such a test where you will either end up being successful or failing.

Instead, you are trying for both of you to make an effort.

15) Redefining your date night

Try and reschedule some regular time where you and your spouse can be by yourselves as a couple, away from home stuff and responsibilities, where just the two of you can connect.

It doesn’t mean getting all dressed up for a grand restaurant, but it could just mean a lovely casual walk with some lovely drinks afterward for the two of you to share in each other’s company.

It all depends on what you as a couple love doing together.

Stony Brook University in 2009 found that it is possible to be in a long-term relationship and still maintain feelings of romantic love for many years.

The secret, they say, is having your partner’s back and knowing that your partner has yours as well.

Adults who know they are secure in their relationships tend to have higher self-esteem. 

This correlates to more feelings of “intense, exclusive focus” on their partners.

Isn’t that awesome?

16) Adjust your expectations

If you are dissatisfied with your marriage, you still have to remember that there is no perfect relationship.

Many people and couples in today’s sexualized culture believe that something is drastically missing from their relationships if they are not having the 50 Shades of Grey type of sex.

Remember that all relationships have ups and downs; that love is expressed in many forms and different ways.

Many couples end up in therapy because of what they expect from their marriage – it’s because their expectations don’t match up with the realities of life.

Often, these very people need to change their outlook first.

17) Be kind and considerate

Most people know that good communication is key to a healthy and happy marriage.

But it’s not about voicing your needs and wants all the time, but listening to your spouse as well, in other words being a more thoughtful person.

It is not waiting to be asked but anticipating it and doing it for your spouse without any prompts.

See what a difference that makes!

Look at these fab ways to be a kinder, more considerate spouse.

Conclusion

The moral of this article is: to fight for your marriage – even though friends and family tell you not to. 

A lot of couples want their marriages to work out.

There are many who want it to work out, but they haven’t got an inkling of how to do it.

Maybe there are kids involved with many believing that by staying together, you are doing right by the kids; it’s the right thing to do.

But society today makes it so easy just to give up and move on.

The way some of your friends talk about it as well makes you question whether it’s even worth holding on to.

Some of your divorced friends might try and make the divorced life or back to the single life sound so exciting to be free again.

They say, “If you don’t like being married, just get a divorce. It’s that simple.” 

It is best to stay true to your commitment to each other years ago; don’t give up on it.

You yourself, if you are fighting for this marriage on your own, could still even meet with a professional counselor to help you through these hard times.

As you invest in your marriage, you will notice it becoming more valuable to you.

Start pursuing your spouse again, and be the person you were years ago.

Don’t criticize or judge your other half.

First, look at yourself, working on yourself first and making the changes.

Start being the person and doing things for your spouse that you want him or her to do for you.

Remember, if you want to restore your marriage, it is vital that you accept responsibility for your own mistakes rather than demanding your spouse to change.

It’s always so easy to look at the other person and see how they’ve disappointed us.

But first, try to discover the destructive patterns and habits you may have fallen into.

Everybody in life wants to grow, but very few want to change to do that – it’s because change takes energy and time.

Change starts with a decision to act and think in a new and different way.

Then you might see the magic sparks fire up again – and it will be so worth it!

‘Remember to fight for your marriage, not in it!

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