Last updated on October 5th, 2019 at 09:23 pm

Research shows that it’s not the most physically attractive people who get the largest share of attention.

Rather, it’s those who point out their availability.

Flirting outplays attractiveness.

Right from the start, you must be obvious with your interest in a guy.

Everybody approaches flirting differently.

But all styles have several things in common.

Generally speaking, they transmit affection signals through either being playful, a little teasing, and a little bit flattery to get someone’s attention.

Flirting, therefore, conveys a simple message, “I like you, and I’m not hesitant to show it.”

But the key to this is confidence.

Woman flirting with a man

In this regard, you may have to learn some basic flirting techniques before advancing your interest.

Regardless of the outcome, you should enjoy the whole exercise, and at the same time, entertain yourself.

Perception is relative for most men.

Thus, giving a guy a subtle indication of interest might not always work.

If you’re shy or don’t know what to do about flirting with a guy, this article seeks to take you through proven ways of flirting.

How to Flirt With a Guy Over Text

lady flirting on text

Have you ever met a guy and there are signs of intense physical attraction, only for things to fizzle out through text?

That leaves you wondering how you should text a guy you like. Flirting via text can be quite a challenge for several reasons.

  • First, it’s challenging to gauge nuance in text.
  • Second, you lack the advantage of body language clues.

However, you can still get the information across, although it’s a lot harder than when you’re engaging face to face.

To help you navigate through the complexities, here’s how to get started:

Take it slowly, and be careful to weigh the responses and figure out if your comments are receiving the right appreciation.

Start with something playful, to begin with, and work from there depending on the feedback you get.

After, you can up the ante by dropping some mild compliments and assessing the reception.

Assuming everything so far is going in the right direction, and there’s mutual pleasure in the playfulness and compliments, then you can move up a gear to more serious flirting.

Touch on some aspect of the guy’s personality that draws you towards him.

Further, compliment his looks—stating things you believe in or have had the chance of coming across.

If you’re unsure of the message to send, remember the essence of seduction lies with differentiating oneself from the rest of the admirers.

Avoid the usual, banal messages every other person uses and stick to being playful and fun.

Choose the appropriate words and experiment with somethings like nicknames, enlist role-playing games, and teasing.

If you compile your messages in the right way, it’s possible to bring the guy closer.

With a dash of spontaneity, be funny, tell jokes, and use stories that are of interest to you to get a feel of what you share in common.

Not only is flirting about your ability to play coy but also leaves you open enough for the guy to interpret the love signs.

Many may ask, “what is infatuation?

Well, the answer may lie in getting a guy to chase you by giving him adequate reasons to wonder more about you.

Thus, you can be modest when complimented, especially when you’ve sent similar compliments. So, take the first step and send that text.

While flirting is best as a two-way traffic, one of you has to initiate it.

You might find the following pointers helpful:

1) Text him accidentally

In case you’re having a hard time waiting for the guy to text, and you’re not even sure how to get the conversation going, this could be a good tactic.

Text the guy in the context of sending the message to your best friend.

For instance; you can say something along the lines of “Yeah right! So, what plans do you have for the weekend?”  Then, give it a couple of minutes before texting a second message, “Oops, the wrong person. Sorry! Either way, how are things with you?”

Although this may make it seem like there was no intention to start a conversation, you should be happy to play along anyway.

2) Be Creative

Generally, flat text messages like “what’s up?” are pointless.

The same goes for “what’s the prediction for the weather tomorrow?”

Both statements can portray a deep sense of disinterest.

By extension, the messages may also not get you very far with your guy crush.

Try something unique and exciting that you’re confident will lure a smile from the guy.

For example; “Quickly- help me choose: cream cheese muffins or chocolate zucchini muffins?

3) Art of Leaving hanging questions

Once you’ve broken the ice and are in a text conversation, it helps not to be overly enthusiastic.

What does that mean and how does it even apply?

You don’t have to respond to everything in the previous messages.

These types of text messages tend to be confusing and can erroneously be interpreted to mean you’re eager.

Hints: Respond to each text at a time but leave some messages unanswered. Create the aura of mystery and let the guy work hard to satisfy his curiosity. Second, moderate the length of your texts. Too much detail may be counterproductive at this stage.

How to Flirt With a Guy Over Snapchat or Instagram

lady flirting on Instagram

Use the Instagram follow tab to your advantage—every guy almost certainly checks it.

However, you should wait until the guy is online before starting to like his photos.

Another bold step is to slide right into his DM as soon as you start following him.

Tagging a guy with a humor meme not only indicates that you’re keen but also augers well with the fun side of your personality.

However, such a move should be with caution and is more effective when you’ve already established a chat.

For that matter, it would be a little uncomfortable if you’ve never spoken to the guy before.

What’s in a profile picture?

A flattering image on your Instagram profile says a lot about you—going a long way when flirting with a crush online.

If you already have good photos online, you should select one that highlights your strong attributes.

Besides, the picture quality should preferably be on high resolution.

Note: While flirting online, the profile picture is the only physical presence you may have, make it count.

1) Like and reshare the guy’s posts

Among the easier things you can do on Instagram is to like or share a post.

If you have an interest in a guy, a little effort that shows attention to his posts can play an important role. 

2) Enquire about his interests

One helpful feature of Instagram can be the amount of information you’re able to generate before you even get to the conversation part.

In all likelihood, you can piece together his favorite activities just by perusing through his profile.

Moreover, you can use either one of his preferences to get the conversation started.

Don’t be shy; few guys can turn away someone who has a genuine interest in them.

As an illustration, comment about something you share in common could be a movie, sport, or passion for cars.

3) Compliment him

Girl Flirting with a BoyRegardless of what you may think, most guys feel good when a direct compliment comes their way.

Much like an exploration, an online profile can equip you with an array of potential reasons to commend him.

In the same context, scheme through his most recent exciting activities and send him a message letting him know what exactly you think of the triumphs.

Also, a smiley face emoticon can add warmth to what otherwise would be an ordinary message.

Notwithstanding, you should use emoticons with moderation.

As such, emojis are a substitute when trying to achieve similar responses as you would with body language when getting your message across.

However, emoticons have their faults and will lose their appeal or effect when you fail to utilize them sparingly.

In the worst-case scenario, they can even become rather irritating when overused.

4) Enact a lighthearted and playful persona

More so, at the initial point of contact, flirtatious messages should adopt a light tone.

Conversely, you should choose conversation topics carefully and engage in relaxed interactions.

For that purpose, you can opt to discuss the ongoings of your lives, as well as common interests.

Based on that, the conversation should then take off from there and form a life of its own.

Equally, create parity between humor and compliments while incorporating both into the conversation.

5) Public comment on a guy’s post

Although wall posting can be a quick way of letting a guy know that you’re interested in him, you have to know how to do it right.

  • Avoid inappropriate comments on their photos—that will be a sure turnoff.
  • Be mindful of who else can see your message or how it may come off in an Instagram audience.

Key talking point: Anything serious or personal should be left out or sent through personal or private messaging channels.

Note: It’s difficult to undo a bad first impression precisely because of a comment you might have left on a guy’s profile.

How to Flirt With a Guy Subtly Without Being Obvious

lady subtly flirting with a guy

Being a little bit forward isn’t imperatively a bad thing.

But given flirting is often seen as an art, you might have to be skillful to send the right signals.

In this respect, subtle flirting is a good option when you want to gradually learn about a guy, without overcommitting to the relationship.

Body and spoken language combine playfully to convey attraction playfully.

Considering not everyone is adept at flirting, you may want to take things a little bit slow not to overwhelm your crush or worse still, scare them off.

The trick is to give just about enough to pique the guy’s interest, while at the same time providing him with adequate space to respond to you.

Regardless, that should come naturally, and part of it comprises being alluring-evasive.

It’s not all about timing, your eyes, and smile, but also, your ability to express the fun side of yourself when you’re around the guy of your affection.

Until you notice signs of true love, you may need to be more observant, an avid listener, and very thoughtful.

1) Find subtle ways to be in the guy’s path.

You’ll need to be around your object of affection whenever possible.

That demands a conscious effort to be in his way without seemingly being too obvious.


Example 1. Stroll past the guy’s work-desk on your way out, or take your pet to the park where he usually goes for a jog.

Nevertheless, you should be careful not to overplay this, or you’ll end up appearing like a stalker.

2) Lock eyes to draw the guy’s attention

But then look away.

Whenever he’s talking to you, try always to establish good eye contact.

Nod often in agreement and also repeat some of the phrases just to let him know you’re interested in what he has to say.

3) Always smile and laugh heartily…

…Letting the guy figure out that you’re pleased and comfy around him and love his company.

Similarly, glance at his lips severally when he’s talking, and then look back up at his eyes.

4) Compliment his dressing

On the other hand, if he’s good at something, tell him so, adding how nice you think that is.

Pick up a conversation about such an interest; he’ll be flattered that you appreciate his passions activities.

5) Body language

Serves to confirm that you have an interest in him.

Conversely, you should be aware that crossed arms/legs, and clenched fists send not-interested signals.

In this case, you need to act relaxed, and that way, he’ll be able to pick that you’re available and open to knowing more about him.

6) Physical contact

A touch other than being comforting can also be a subtle way to flirt.

Appropriately, blush shoulders with him playfully, and he’ll interpret this action to mean you’re at ease near him.

Also, you can touch his knee lightly, or brush a strand of hair from his face — all in all, the contact hints at your willingness to be close to him.

How to Flirt With a Guy at Work

lady flirting at work

Now that you see your work colleagues every day, it’s not a wonder that you might develop a particular liking for one of them.

Although flirting in the office is fun, it can be a different ball game altogether.

Despite the challenges, you can still flirt with a guy in the workplace using body language.

With the confined spaces in the job environment, what tricks should you have up your sleeve?

1) Impressions matter

Create the perfect look, and you’ll attract attention.

Show off your personality, and the guy will not fail to notice you.

Compliment him, and you’ll have set the dice rolling.

Observe the office rules, while also respecting everyone’s boundaries and you can as well keep your professional reputation intact.

2) Eye contact

Looking directly into a guy’s eyes will generate an instant connection.

Every time you get the opportunity, hold the contact for 1-3 seconds, and he’ll not fail to notice it.

Smile and look away and you’re halfway to achieving your target without pulling a muscle.


Don’t stare too long into his eyes (more than a few secs).

Else, he’ll end up feeling uncomfortable.

In case you feel awkward, or the guy ends up asking you “if you need something” navigate around the situation by asking him a general work-related question.

For instance, you might quiz, “did you get my email?”

3) Smile…

…whenever you see this guy.

Flashing him a smile is the easiest way to flirt.

Wait until he looks at you and give him a wide grin or employ a sly half-smile.

A toothy grin displays the fun side of your personality, while a sly smile elicits a mysterious connotation.

Tip: Use a mirror to practice your smile, that’ll make it easier for you to flash that flirty smile the next time you see your crush.

4) Wink…

…at him, more so when no one else is in the precinctsending him a clear indication that you’re feeling flirty.

However, have a backup plan just in case the situation becomes clumsy.

Wait until no one else is nearby or you’re certain no one’s looking and wink at the workmate as you blush past each other.

Hint: A slow wink is more effective than a quick one. Just in case you’re not sure of how he will react, a quick wink is more comfortable to explain away. For good measure, something could have found its way into your eye.

5) Break the touch barrier

Brush against the guy, and the physical contact will potentially take your flirting to the next phase.

How do you play safe?

Gently brush past him or else bump into him.

Accidents do happen.

Tip: after an accidental bump somewhere in the hallway, comment about how you can’t keep meeting that way, or apologize about it.

6) Touch of arms

While talking to the guy, you can always get away with touching his hands.

However, make sure the contact doesn’t linger far too long (2-3 secs).

Read the signs, and if he pulls away or appears uncomfortable, you should stop.

Consequently, create some distance and voice, “Sorry about that, my focus is on this project.”

7) Accentuate your movement

Be sensual and stroll—an easy trick to cultivate charm in the workplace without seemingly showing it.

Guy’s like watching your body move.

Thus, making a concerted effort to slow it down accentuates his attention.

Hence, move slowly and directly cross his path regularly when you’re sure he’s watching.

Let him stare, and without much effort, you could be covertly flirting with him without saying a word.

8) Dress well…

…to keep the professional look.

When trying to get a guy’s attention, you have to appear at your best.

In a workplace, maintain the dressing code.

Choose the right outfits that will not only make you feel comfortable but also impress.

9) Ask for help

Must be the oldest trick in the flirting book.

Create a situation that you would need the guy’s advice.

Such an innocent maneuver will allow you to collaborate at work, in addition to inviting him over to work on the project together.

Alternatively, ask for the guy’s opinion about a work-related issue.

This narrative provides you with a leeway to talk to him, and at the same time, backing you up professionally.

Example. Ask if you can jointly work on a client pitch or partner on a project.
Tip: In the event, a conversation ensues, keep it going. Open-ended questions may be your best approach. Ask, “what did you do next? Else, how he’s dealing with it. Most likely, this might link the gap for him to start flirting with you as well.

How to Flirt With a Guy in Middle School

Girl flirting with a guy at school

It doesn’t help much that sometimes you have to be discrete when flirting.

Of course, you have to try to be friends first.

In middle school, you may be in better standing if you were to invite your crush for group hangouts.

After a while, maybe move up one level to a movie night.

Sometimes, not having the same classes together may end up limiting your chance encounters and by extension, your ability to flirt.

However, you can turn that to your advantage.

Through sending text messages or chats, you should learn more about him.

Ask questions and observe, especially when you have the opportunity to be in the same space.

It always helps to have some inside jokes that both of you can share, thus creating a connection.

In the aftermath, you might find that the guy is always looking forward to seeing you during the breaks.

1) Find an opening

Although this might be a little harder for you than with the guy, you have to find a way for the two of you to start flirting.

You can’t expect him to ask you out if he doesn’t have an idea that you’re into him.

So, you need an excuse to stoke the fire.

Request the guy to help you with a book because you forgot yours.

Afterward, thank him and have a side question such as “hey, cute shoes—where’d you buy them?

At this point, any question will do!

Next stage: Watch him closely and be keen on how he responds to you.

  • Read the signs—is he friendly or disinterested?
  • Does he make an effort to advance the conversation?

If the feedback is encouraging, then all you have to do is indicate your availability.

How can you get that done?

Set him up to enquire about your typical areas of interest.

If he enjoys watching a specific TV show, movie, music band, activity, you can always say something in the lines of;

“oh wow! I’ve not watched it/done that before, but have heard that it was great.”  “Maybe I’ll come across someone to watch/do that activity with.”

Opening the door for him to suggest, ‘uhh, hey, can we watch it/ do it together?”

If he’s into you, that’ll most likely work.

Hint: Most guys may pick up signals without realizing it. With some practice from your end, it’s possible to alter a guy’s perception of you without having to say much.

On the other hand, attempting to get every detail about his life can result in the guy feeling like he’s being interrogated.

2) Invite him for a dance

lady dancing with guy

You may never find a more natural way of letting a guy in middle school know that you like him without breaking a sweat.

Choose a school event or whichever other occasions you may come up with as long as you can have some one-on-one time with your guy.

How should you handle yourself?
  • Step 1: Make it evident that dancing with him is your choice. Hold his hands and drive him away from the group. A willingness on his part will reflect the progress both of you are making.
  • Step 2: Avoid being overly sensual—this could easily lead to an uncomfortable situation.
  • Step 3: If he’s not an astute dancer, you should try to accommodate the awkwardness. Even if you have to pull off some wacky dance moves yourself to make him feel at ease—be silly and have fun while at it. Laughing about it will make it worthwhile.
  • Step 4: Slow down the dance moves, that’s if you can, and engage eye contact while your arms are on his shoulders.

3) Leave him craving for more

Don’t allow the conversation to fizzle out or last too long such that he either gets bored or becomes distracted.

Instead, leave while the interest is still there and you can be sure he’ll be eager to see you again.


  • Leave the impression that there can be a ‘next time.’ As such, the following tips may be of help. “State, you have to run, but he can still get to see you around tomorrow.” That way, you’ll have already put the notion that he will get to be with you again.
  • Remember to state you had a wonderful time.

How to Flirt With a Shy Guy

Lady flirting with a shy guy

You know he likes you!

What’s more, you could do just about anything to help him express his feelings, although you’re aware that might also scare him.

Sure, you can wait, but considering that could take some effort, you should consider making the first innocuous move.

That could be the best way to help him adjust and become comfortable.

A lot can be expected of shy guys, more so in pursuit and you end up a little bit frustrated.

However, if you approach him, you stand out from the crowd.

Indeed, you have to time it right and pick the perfect moment.

Several options you may use include:

First, ask him to help you with something—could be some advice on a subject you’re aware he has proficiency.

Subsequently, make him comfortable around you by not coming in too firmly.

Invoke a conversation, and you’ll know his feelings for you when he shows interest in your hobbies or favorite pastimes.

Second, make an arrangement that rewards his help in the first instance, something that may include you taking him out for dinner.

Take it slow with any physical contact.

At this point, easy is the keyword—even a hug could end up ruining everything and probably embarrass him.

To begin with, shun conversations that might involve relationships or love.

Finally, choose the right approach carefully.

Sometimes, it can prove to be a masterstroke if you pick the right channel of communication. i.e., shy guys may be unlikely to be comfortable flirting face to face, but that doesn’t mean he would not enjoy it over messenger.

1) Be creative

It helps to be bold in a subtle way.

Come up with a plan and pick an event you know he will most likely be interested.

Then, let him know that a friend gave you some extra tickets they could not use.

Subsequently, ask if he would mind accompanying you for the event or participate in this activity with you.

Chances are, this is the moment he has been waiting for, and you will see it in his eyes.

Then, go out and buy the tickets with consideration for the best seats for the event.

Move the conversation forward

Striking excellent communication will help escalate the situation and encourage you to flirt more openly with your crush.

Still, you have to find the right opportunity while at the same time identifying things that you share in common.

Where do you look for topics?

It could be at school, workplace, or recent events.

Further insights:
  • Open questions will indicate that you’re interested in getting to know him, more than just talking about yourself. Transition the talk to revolve around the guy. More so, about things that he’s passionate about in the present as well as his plans.
  • Avoid questions that are likely to have a “yes” or “no” answer because this could potentially be a sure way to end a conversation prematurely.
  • Frequently use of his name. People like hearing their titles in a convo, especially coming from a person they like a lot. Calling a shy guy by his name may be a quick way to developing intimacy between the two of you.

2) Pay him a compliment

Niceties go both ways, and it’s not surprising that guys enjoy compliments too.

For this reason, appreciation sends signals of interest in him, while also showing acknowledgment of what he might be doing right.

Moreover, you can make the compliment work for you by using the following tips:

  • Being specific – The more precision in your compliment, the more personal the reception. For that purpose, you should focus on a particular attribute that you admire in him and be forthright in highlighting it.
  • Other than only applaud his achievements when in an intimate relationship, you can also go one step further and praise some of his standout traits. Given, you can use that as an excuse to get even closer to him.
  • It helps if you’re to lean in close and slightly lower your voice when paying your guy a compliment. Reason? Such an effort makes flattery seemingly more intimate and secret.
  • Establish firm eye contact and smile slightly as a sign of your sincerity and genuine attention.
  • Never overdo a compliment—in addition to lowering the impact, the guy might end up not taking you seriously.

Rule: One sincere compliment trample’s 100 fake ones.

How to Flirt With a Guy Online

Lady chatting with a guy online

In the absence of body language and verbal cues, you’d feel that online flirtation is counter-intuitive.

You may find the experience relatively different and devoid of the physicality associated with other forms of flirtation.

However, emotionally charged and playful teasing is still achievable over the internet, although the approach is somewhat unique.

How do you get him to reveal what he feels for you if all you do is video chat?

After some time, you pick up on how often he initiates the chats and the length of time you keep the conversation going.

Ultimately, if both of you are investing ample time for communication, you’ll be in a position to tell whether you enjoy each other’s company.

Nevertheless, you still have to adequately accommodate flirting—to steer the conversation in the right direction.

Depending on how comfortable you’re at any given stage of your interaction, you should be able to judge when you should inform the guy that you like him.

1) Write properly

lady typing

In most instances, unless you’re in grade school, an overreliance on shorthand texting language can create a barrier when trying to impress a guy you like.

More so, if the guy only knows you through your online presence.

That is why you should carefully craft an intelligent and mature persona.

It’s a plus to utilize proper spelling, grammar, and moderation of emoticons. 

2) Civility associated with posting

Every time you’re posting, you should consider how the post reflects on you as a person.

Though you might find room to maneuver with offensive humor and wild tales, most of the time it’s counterproductive.

In case you need to impress one guy on the web, it will not hurt for you to tone down on your online personality.

Every guy could be looking for a specific set of traits in a prospective girlfriend.

Though, a vast majority would also prefer a girl with the ability to exercise some tact.

3) Make your thoughts known

Enacting a lively online social life can similarly indicate organization on your person.

As such, this can help you connect with a guy that you might be interested in online.

4) Make your social posts an image of your thoughts and likes.

Though it’s hard to like everybody you meet online, try to be kind to everyone.

In most cases, you have little control over who sees your posts — thus, reserve personal perceptions to private messaging.

5) Public flirting should focus on one person

If you emotionally invest in one guy, it doesn’t help for him to come across your posts treating a multitude of other guys in a similar manner.

However, if your interest is in harmlessly flirting with several guys, try and keep the conversation away from the public domain.

Although you may opt to make a general hint of your interest, be careful not to establish a reputation of being a tease among the guys.

Should that happen, it will impact on your ability to nail down a guy you may be interested in online.

As a matter of principle:

  • Save the key milestones (concession of your feelings) until you meet the guy in person. Letting your feelings known can be an emotionally draining experience, and you’ll be missing out on the sensation by transmitting an online message. For all you know, the guy could be there for fun, and may not be taking you seriously.
  • In line with the above caveat, don’t give too much detail about yourself online. Every post can quickly be taken out of context or worse still land in the wrong hands. Hence, be careful with the personal information you transmit online, primarily if you’re not familiar with the guy you’re flirting with on the other end.

Almost all cases of flirting involve verbal, written, and body language.

The message transmitted from one person suggest interest in developing a relationship with the other party.

In Conclusion…

Flirting implies a mild form of intimacy that both parties try to enact in a fun and playful way.

Being terrible at flirting doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t stand a chance of ending up in a relationship.

However, being a flirt is an indicator of your availability.

Moreover, flirting is not only dependent on the character traits of the parties involved but also the surrounding environment and ultimately, the channels of communication.

Becoming a natural flirt comprises of a great deal of practice, being who you are and a little confidence.

Consequently, you can draw any guy to yourself.

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