Last updated on August 1st, 2020 at 05:57 pm

How do you flirt with a guy? 

Research has shown that it’s not the most physically attractive people that get the largest share of attention.

Rather, it’s those who make themselves available.

Flirting almost always trumps attractiveness.

As you already know, everybody approaches flirting differently. But all styles of flirting has several things in common in that they transmit affection signals.

It could be by being playful, teasing and a mixture of some flattery to get someone’s attention.

Flirting, therefore, conveys a simple message, “I like you, and I’m not hesitant to show it.

But the key to this is confidence.

That’s why it’s important to learn some basic flirting techniques before advancing your interest.

Regardless of the outcome, enjoy the whole exercise and at the same time – entertain yourself.

So, If you’re shy or have no damn clue about how to flirt with a guy, this article will walk you through proven ways of flirting with any guy without fear of rejection or embarrassment.

So let’s get started with…

How to Flirt With a Guy Over Text

lady flirting on text

Have you ever met a guy and there are signs of intense physical attraction, only for things to fizzle out through text?

That’ll most definitely leave you wondering about the best ways to text a guy you like. Flirting via text can be quite a challenge for several reasons.

  • First, it’s challenging to gauge nuances in a text.
  • Second, you lack the advantage of body language clues.

However, you can still get the information across, although it’ll be a lot harder than a face to face conversation.

To help you navigate through the complexities, here’s how to get started:

Take it slowly, and be careful to weigh the responses and figure out if your comments are receiving the right attention.

Start with something playful, to begin with, and work from there depending on the feedback you get.

Then, you can up the ante by dropping some mild compliments and assessing the reception.

Assuming everything so far is going in the right direction and there’s mutual pleasure in the playfulness and compliments, then you can gear up to a more serious style of flirting.

Touch on some aspect of the guy’s personality that draws you towards him.

Further, compliment his looks —stating things you believe in or have had the chance of coming across.

If you’re unsure of the message to send, remember the essence of seduction lies with differentiating oneself from the rest of his admirers.

Avoid the usual banal messages every other person uses and stick to being playful and fun.

Choose the appropriate words and experiment with somethings like nicknames, enlist role-playing games, and teasing.

If you compile your messages in the right way, it’s possible to bring the guy closer.

With a dash of spontaneity, be funny, tell jokes, and use stories that are of interest to you to get a feel of what you share in common.

Not only is flirting about your ability to play coy a good idea but it leaves you open for the guy to interpret the love signs.

While flirting is best as a two-way traffic, one of you has to initiate it.

You might find the following helpful:

1) Text him accidentally

In case you’re having a hard time waiting for the guy to text, and you’re not even sure how to get the conversation going, this could be a good tactic.

Text the guy in the context of sending the message to your best friend.

For instance; you can say something along the lines of “Yeah right! So, what plans do you have for the weekend?”  Then, give it a couple of minutes before texting a second message, “Oops, the wrong person. Sorry! Either way, how are things with you?”

Although this may make it seem like there was no intention to start a conversation, you should be happy to play along anyway.

2) Be Creative

Generally, flat text messages like “what’s up?” are pointless.

The same goes for “what’s the prediction for the weather tomorrow?”

Both statements can portray a deep sense of disinterest.

By extension, the messages may also not get you very far with your guy crush.

Try something unique and exciting that you’re confident will lure a smile from the guy.

For example; “Quickly help me choose: cream cheese muffins or chocolate zucchini muffins?

3) Art of Leaving hanging questions

Once you’ve broken the ice and have text history with him, it helps not to be overly enthusiastic.

What does that mean and how does it even apply?

You don’t have to respond to everything in the previous messages.

These types of text messages tend to be confusing and can erroneously be interpreted to mean eagerness.

Hints: Respond to each text at a time but leave some messages unanswered. Create the aura of mystery and let the guy work hard to satisfy his curiosity. Second, moderate the length of your texts. Too much detail may be counterproductive at this stage.

How to Flirt With a Guy Over Snapchat or Instagram

lady flirting on Instagram

Use the Instagram follow tab to your advantage—every guy almost certainly checks it.

However, you should wait until the guy is online before you start to like his photos.

Another bold step is to slide right into his DM as soon as you start following him.

Tagging a guy with a humor meme not only indicates that you’re keen but also augers well with the fun side of your personality.

However, such a move should be made with caution and is more effective when you’ve already established a chat.

For that matter, it would be a little uncomfortable if you’ve never spoken to him before.

What’s in a profile picture?

A flattering image on your Instagram profile says a lot about you—going a long way when flirting with a crush online.

If you already have good photos online, you should select one that highlights your strong attributes.

Note: When flirting online, the profile picture is the only physical presence you may have, make it count.

1) Like and reshare the guy’s posts

Among the easier things you can do on Instagram is to like or share a post.

If you have an interest in a guy, showing just a little bit of attention to his posts can play an important role in winning him over. 

2) Enquire about his interests

One helpful feature of Instagram can be the amount of information you’re able to generate even before you get the conversation started.

If possible, you can piece together his favorite activities just by perusing through his profile.

Moreover, you can use either one of his preferences to get the conversation started.

Don’t be shy; few guys can turn away someone who has a genuine interest in them.

Tip: Comment about something you share in common – could be a movie, sport, or passion for cars.

3) Compliment him

Regardless of what you may think, most guys feel good when a direct compliment comes their way.

Much like an exploration, an online profile can equip you with an array of potential reasons to commend him.

In the same context, scheme through his most recent exciting activities and send him a message letting him know what exactly you think of his triumphs.

Also, a smiley face emoticon can add warmth to what otherwise would be an ordinary message.

But, don’t overdo it because emojis are a substitute when trying to achieve similar responses as you would with body language when getting your message across.

But as you already know, emoticons have their faults and will lose their appeal or effect when you fail to utilize them properly.

4) Enact a lighthearted and playful persona

When starting out, your flirtatious messages shouldn’t be too flirtatious. Rather, choose conversation topics carefully and engage in relaxed interactions.

You can discuss the ongoings in your lives as well as common interests.

The conversation should then take off from there and form a life of its own.

Additionally, create parity between humor and compliments while incorporating both into the conversation.

5) Public comment on a guy’s post

Although posting on a guy’s wall can be a quick way of letting him know that you’re interested in him, you have to know how to do it right.

  • Avoid inappropriate comments on his photos—that will be a sure turnoff.
  • Be mindful of who else can see your message

Key point: Anything serious or personal should be left out or sent through personal or private messaging channels.

It’s difficult to undo a bad first impression so be careful not to leave a thoughtless or over-flirtatious message on his wall.

Flirting With a Guy Subtly Without Being Obvious

lady subtly flirting with a guy

Being a little bit forward isn’t a bad thing.

But since flirting is often seen as an art, you might have to be skillful to send the right signals.

Therefore, subtle flirting is a good option when you want to gradually learn about a guy without overcommitting to the relationship.

Body and spoken language almost always convey attraction.

Having in mind not everyone responds to flirting in the same way, you may want to take things a bit slow so as not to overwhelm your crush or worse yet, scare him off.

The trick is to give just about enough to pique the guy’s interest, while at the same time providing him with adequate space to respond to you.

The goal here is not about timing your eyes and smile, but also your ability to express the fun side of yourself when you’re around him.

Until you notice signs of true love, you may need to be more observant, be an avid listener, and be very thoughtful.

1) Find subtle ways to be in the guy’s path.

You’ll need to be around your object of affection whenever possible.

That demands a conscious effort to be in his way without seemingly being too obvious.

Thus;

Example 1. Stroll past the guy’s work-desk on your way out, or take your pet to the park where he usually goes for a jog.

Nevertheless, you should be careful not to overplay this, or you’ll end up appearing like a stalker.

2) Lock eyes to draw the guy’s attention…

…But then look away.

Whenever he’s talking to you, try to always establish good eye contact.

Nod often in agreement and also repeat some of the phrases just to let him know you’re interested in what he’s saying.

3) Always smile and laugh heartily…

…Letting the guy figure out that you’re pleased and comfy around him and love his company.

Also glance at his lips when he’s talking, and then look back up at his eyes.

4) Compliment his dressing

If he has a great dressing style, mention it and also tell him why you think so.

Pick up a conversation about such an interest and he’ll be flattered that you appreciate his activities.

5) Body language

Body language serves to confirm that you have an interest in him.

Also, you have to be aware that crossed arms/legs, and clenched fists send not-interested signals.

In this case, you need to be relaxed and as time goes on, he’ll definitely be open to knowing more about you.

6) Physical contact

A simple innocent touch can also be a subtle way to flirt.

Appropriately blush shoulders with him playfully and he’ll interpret this action to mean you’re at ease near him.

Also, you can touch his knee lightly, or brush a strand of hair from his face — anyways, the contact hints at your willingness to be close to him.

How to Flirt With a Guy at Work

lady flirting at work

Although flirting at one’s place of work can be fun, it can also be a different ball game altogether.

Despite the challenges, you can still flirt with a guy in the workplace using body language.

With confined spaces in the work environment, what tricks should you have up your sleeves?

1) Impressions matter

Create the perfect look and you’ll attract attention.

Show off your personality and the guy will not fail to notice you.

Compliment him and you’d have set the dice rolling.

Observe office rules and respect everyone’s boundaries. This will help keep your professional reputation intact while opening up chances to get on with your flirting game.

2) Eye contact

Looking directly into the guy’s eyes will generate an instant connection.

Every time you get the opportunity, hold the contact for 1-3 seconds, and he’ll not fail to notice it.

Smile and look away and you’re halfway to achieving your target without pulling a muscle.

However;

Don’t stare too long into his eyes (more than a few secs). Otherwise, he’ll end up feeling uncomfortable.

In case you feel awkward, or the guy ends up asking you “if you need something?” navigate around the situation by asking him a general work-related question.

For instance, you might say, “Did you get my email?

3) Smile…

Always smile whenever you see this guy. You can fake it, it doesn’t matter.

Flashing him a smile is the easiest way to flirt.

Wait until he looks at you and give him a wide grin or employ a sly half-smile.

A toothy grin displays the fun side of your personality, while a sly smile elicits a mysterious connotation.

Tip: Use a mirror to practice your smile, that’ll make it easier for you to flash that flirty smile the next time you see your crush.

4) Wink…

Wink at him especially when no one else is in the precinct thus sending him a clear indication that you’re feeling flirty.

However, have a backup plan just in case the situation gets clumsy.

Wait until no one else is nearby or you’re certain no one’s looking at your direction and wink at him as you blush past each other.

Hint: A slow wink is more effective than a quick one. If you’re unsure of how he will react, a quick wink is more comfortable to explain away – something could have found its way into your eye is a great excuse.

5) Break the touch barrier

Brush against the guy and the physical contact will potentially take your flirting to the next phase.

How do you play safe?

Gently brush past him or bump into him.

Accidents do happen.

Tip: after an accidental bump somewhere in the hallway, always apologize with a deep sincere smile.

6) Touch of arms

While talking to the guy, you can always get away with touching his hands.

However, make sure the contact doesn’t linger far too long (2-3 secs).

Read the signs, and if he pulls away or appears uncomfortable, stop, and say something along the lines of “Sorry about that, my focus was on the project”. 

7) Accentuate your movement

Be sensual with your walking —an easy trick to create charm in the workplace without seemingly showing it.

Guy’s like watching women’s body move.

So making a concerted effort to slow it down accentuates his attention.

Move slowly and directly cross his path regularly when you’re sure he’s watching.

Let him stare, and without much effort, you could be covertly flirting with him without saying a word.

8) Dress well…

Always dress well to keep the professional look.

When trying to get a guy’s attention, you have to appear at your best.

In the workplace, always maintain the dress code.

Choose the right outfits that will not only make you feel comfortable but also to impress.

9) Ask for help

Must be the oldest trick in the flirting book.

Create a situation that you would need the guy’s advice.

Such an innocent maneuver will allow you to collaborate at work. And if possible, invite him over to your place to work on a project together.

Alternatively, you can ask his opinion about a work-related issue.

His answer will provide you with a leeway to talk to him.

Example. Ask if you can jointly work on a client pitch or partner on a project.

Tip: In the event a conversation ensues, keep it going. Open-ended questions may be your best approach.

How to Flirt With a Guy in Middle School

Girl flirting with a guy at school

It doesn’t help much that sometimes you have to be discrete when flirting.

Of course, you have to try to be friends first.

One of the best ways to flirt with a guy in middle is, if possible, invite him over for a group hangout.

If things work out the way you expected, up your game by asking him if you both could go to the movies.

If you and your crush are not in the same class, then use other avenues to get in touch with him or get close to him as possible. 

When you finally get the chance to meet him,  ask questions and closely observe his body language

It always helps to have some inside jokes that both of you can share thus creating a connection.

At the end of the day, you might find that the guy is always looking forward to seeing you during the breaks.

So let’s take a birds view about the things you should do…

1) Find an opening

Although this might be a little harder for you than with the guy, you have to find a way to initiate your flirting game.

You can’t expect him to ask you out if he doesn’t have an idea that you’re into him.

So, you need an excuse to stoke the fire.

Ask him to help you with a book because you forgot yours.

Then, thank him and ask a quick question like –  “Hey, cute shoes—where did you buy them? – or any other question that comes into your mind. 

Next: Watch him closely and be keen on how he responds to you.

  • Read the signs— is he friendly or disinterested?
  • Does he make an effort to advance the conversation?

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If the feedback is encouraging, then all you have to do is indicate your availability.

How can you get that done?

Set him up to enquire about your typical areas of interest.

If he enjoys watching a specific TV show, movie, music band, activity, you can always say something in the lines of;

“oh wow! I’ve not watched it/done that before, but have heard some really cool things about it. Maybe one day you and I can (mention the activity)

What you’ve done is you instantly opened the door for him to speak his mind.

If he’s into you, Congrats! You’ve won him over…

Hint: Most guys may pick up signals without realizing it. With some practice from your end, it’s possible to alter a guy’s perception of you without having to say much.

On the other hand, attempting to get every detail about his life can result in the guy feeling like he’s being interrogated.

2) Invite him for a dance

You may never find a more natural way of letting a guy in middle school know that you like him without breaking a sweat.

Choose a school event or other suitable occasions as long as you can have some one-on-one time with him.

How should you handle yourself?

  • Step 1: Make it evident that dancing with him is your choice. Hold his hands and drive him away from the group. A willingness on his part will reflect the progress you both have made.
  • Step 2: Avoid being overly sensual — this could easily lead to an uncomfortable situation.
  • Step 3: If he’s not an astute dancer, try to accommodate the awkwardness. Even if you have to pull off some wacky dance moves yourself to make him feel at ease, so be it. Be silly and have fun. Laughing about it will make it worthwhile.
  • Step 4: Slow down the dance moves, if you can, and try to maintain steady eye contact while your arms are on his shoulders.

3) Leave him craving for more

Don’t allow the conversation to fizzle out or last too long such that he either gets bored or becomes distracted.

Instead, leave while the interest is still there and you can be sure he’ll be eager to see you again.

Also;

  • Leave the impression that there can be a ‘next time.’ As such, the following tips may be of help. “State, you have to run, but he can still get to see you around tomorrow.” That way, you’d have laid the groundwork for the next meeting and I’m sure he will get to be with you again.
  • Remember to state you had a wonderful time.

How to Flirt With a Shy Guy

Lady flirting with a shy guy

Shy guys are great to have as boyfriends or husbands.

They are very loyal and they hardly fake their love because most of them are nerds. And believe me, nerds are the sweetest set of people to have around.

If you want to flirt with a shy guy, you must make the first move!

You have to time it right and pick the perfect moment.

But most times, the first move is not always enough.  You have to make him open up and be comfortable around you.

Allow him to express himself.

The following are some of the things you can do:

First, ask him to help you with something—could be some advice on a subject you’re aware he’s good at.

Subsequently, make him comfortable around you by not coming in too firmly.

Invoke a conversation, and you’ll know his feelings for you when he shows interest in your hobbies or favorite pastimes.

Second, do something to reciprocate his help – it could mean taking him out for dinner.

At this point, easy is the keyword —even a hug could end up ruining everything and probably embarrass him

At first, shun conversations that might involve relationships or love.

Finally, choose the right approach carefully.

Sometimes, it can prove to be a masterstroke if you pick the right channel of communication. i.e., shy guys 9 out of 10 times may not be comfortable with one-on-one flirtations, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy it over texts.

So what do you do next?

1) Be creative

It helps to be bold in a subtle way.

Come up with a plan and pick an event you know he will most likely be interested in.

Then let him know that a friend gave you some extra tickets they could not use.

Subsequently, ask if he wouldn’t mind accompanying you for the event or participate in so-and-so activity with you.

Chances are, this is the moment he has been waiting for, and you will see it in his eyes.

Then, go out and buy the tickets and chose the best seats for the event.

Move the conversation forward

Striking up an interesting conversation will help escalate the situation and encourage you to flirt more openly with your crush.

Still, you have to find the right opportunity and at the same time identify things that you share in common.

Where do you look for topics?

It could be at school, workplace, or recent events.

Further insights:

  • Open questions will indicate that you’re interested in getting to know him, more than just talking about yourself. Transition the talk to revolve around the guy especially about things that he’s passionate about.
  • Avoid questions that are likely to have a “yes” or “no” answer because this could potentially be a surefire way to end a conversation prematurely.
  • Frequently mention his name. People like hearing their titles in a convo, especially if it’s coming from a person they like a lot. Calling a shy guy by his name may be a quick way to developing intimacy between the two of you.

2) Compliment Him

Niceties go both ways and it’s not surprising that guys enjoy compliments too.

You can make the compliment work for you by using the following tips…

  • Being specific – The more precise you are in your compliment, the better the reception. Focus on a particular attribute that you admire in him and be forthright in highlighting it.
  • Instead of only applauding his achievements, you can also go one step further by praising some of his standout traits.
  • It helps if you can lean in close and slightly lower your voice when complimenting him. Why? Such an effort makes flattery more intimate and sexy.
  • Establish firm eye contact and smile slightly as a sign of your sincerity and genuine attention.
  • Never overdo a compliment — Period!

One sincere compliment trumps 1000 fake ones.

Check Out: What Do Boys Want – 21 Things Boys Like in Girls

How to Flirt With a Guy Online

Lady chatting with a guy online

In the absence of body language and verbal cues, you’d feel that online flirtation is counter-intuitive.

You may find the experience relatively different and devoid of the physicality associated with other forms of flirtation.

However, emotionally charged and playful teasing is still achievable over the internet, although the approach is somewhat unique.

How do you get him to reveal what he feels for you if all you do is video chat?

After some time, observe how often he initiates the chats and the length of time you spend together.

Ultimately, if both of you are investing ample time for communication, you’ll be in a position to tell whether you enjoy each other’s company.

Nevertheless, you still have to careful and creative when flirting online to steer the conversation in the right direction.

Depending on how comfortable you’re at any given stage of your interaction, you should be able to judge when you should inform the guy that you like him.

1) Write properly

In most instances, unless you’re in grade school, an overreliance on shorthand texting language can create a barrier when trying to impress a guy you like.

That is why you should carefully craft an intelligent and mature persona.

It’s a plus to utilize proper spelling, grammar, and moderation of emoticons. 

2) Be Civil

Every time you post, you should consider how the post reflects on you as a person.

Though you might find room to make an excuse when you make an offensive or unreasonable post, most of the time, it’s counterproductive.

In case you need to impress a guy on the web, it will not hurt if you could tone down on your online personality.

Every guy, trust me, is looking for a specific set of traits in a prospective girlfriend and I’m absolutely certain that a vast majority would prefer a tactful girl.

3) Make your social posts an image of your thoughts and likes.

Although it’s hard to like everybody you meet online, try to be kind to everyone.

In most cases, you have little control over who sees your posts — thus, reserve personal perceptions to private messaging.

4) Public flirting should focus on one person

If you’re really interested in a guy, be truthful about it and don’t make it public. 

Don’t go about saying the same thing to other guys because if he eventually finds out, I don’t have to tell you what’s going to happen.

However, if your interest is in harmlessly flirting with several guys, try and keep the conversation away from the public domain.

Principles that can be of help:

  • Save the key milestones (concession of your feelings) until you meet the guy in person. Letting your feelings known can be an emotionally draining experience, and you’ll be missing out on the sensation by spewing your innermost feeling over a chat. For all you know, the guy could be there for fun and may not be taking you seriously.
  • As a follow up to the previous point, don’t give too much detail about yourself online. Your post can quickly be taken out of context or worse still, land in the wrong hands. Hence, be careful with the personal information you transmit online especially when chatting with a guy you barely even know.

In Conclusion…

Flirting could be said to be a mild form of intimacy that both parties try to enact in a fun and playful way.

Being terrible at flirting doesn’t necessarily mean the end of the world for you because you can learn and master it.

If you follow the tips and suggestions I’ve laid down on how to flirt with a guy, you can sure draw any guy to yourself.

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