Have you ever met a guy and there are signs of intense physical attraction, only for things to fizzle out through text?
That’ll most definitely leave you wondering about the best ways to text a guy you like. Flirting via text can be quite a challenge for several reasons.
First, it’s challenging to gauge nuances in a text.
Second, you lack the advantage of body language clues.
However, you can still get the information across, although it’ll be a lot harder than a face-to-face conversation.
To help you navigate through the complexities, here’s how to get started:
Take it slowly, and be careful to weigh the responses and figure out if your comments are receiving the right attention.
Start with something playful, to begin with, and work from there depending on the feedback you get.
Then, you can up the ante by dropping some mild compliments and assessing the reception.
Assuming everything so far is going in the right direction and there’s mutual pleasure in the playfulness and compliments, then you can gear up to a more serious style of flirting.
Touch on some aspect of the guy’s personality that draws you towards him.
Further, compliment his looks —stating things you believe in or have had the chance of coming across.
If you’re unsure of the message to send, remember the essence of seduction lies in differentiating oneself from the rest of his admirers.
Avoid the usual banal messages every other person uses and stick to being playful and fun.
Choose the appropriate words and experiment with some things like nicknames, enlist role-playing games, and teasing.
If you compile your messages in the right way, it’s possible to bring the guy closer.
With a dash of spontaneity, be funny, tell jokes, and use stories that are of interest to you to get a feel of what you share in common.
Not only is flirting about your ability to play coy a good idea but it leaves you open for the guy to interpret the love signs.
While flirting is best as two-way traffic, one of you has to initiate it.
You might find the following helpful:
1) Text him accidentally
In case you’re having a hard time waiting for the guy to text, and you’re not even sure how to get the conversation going, this could be a good tactic.
Text the guy in the context of sending the message to your best friend.
For instance; you can say something along the lines of “Yeah right! So, what plans do you have for the weekend?” Then, give it a couple of minutes before texting a second message, “Oops, the wrong person. Sorry! Either way, how are things with you?”
Although this may make it seem like there was no intention to start a conversation, you should be happy to play along anyway.
2) Be Creative
Generally, flat text messages like “what’s up?” are pointless.
The same goes for “what’s the prediction for the weather tomorrow?”
Both statements can portray a deep sense of disinterest.
By extension, the messages may also not get you very far with your guy crush.
Try something unique and exciting that you’re confident will lure a smile from the guy.
For example; “Quickly help me choose: cream cheese muffins or chocolate zucchini muffins?
3) Art of Leaving hanging questions
Once you’ve broken the ice and have a text history with him, it helps not to be overly enthusiastic.
What does that mean and how does it even apply?
You don’t have to respond to everything in the previous messages.
These types of text messages tend to be confusing and can erroneously be interpreted to mean eagerness.
Hints: Respond to each text at a time but leave some messages unanswered. Create the aura of mystery and let the guy work hard to satisfy his curiosity. Second, moderate the length of your texts. Too much detail may be counterproductive at this stage.
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In case you feel awkward, or the guy ends up asking you “if you need something?” navigate around the situation by asking him a general work-related question.
For instance, you might say, “Did you get my email?”
Always smile whenever you see this guy. You can fake it, it doesn’t matter.
Flashing him a smile is the easiest way to flirt.
Wait until he looks at you and give him a wide grin or employ a sly half-smile.
A toothy grin displays the fun side of your personality, while a sly smile elicits a mysterious connotation.
Tip: Use a mirror to practice your smile, that’ll make it easier for you to flash that flirty smile the next time you see your crush.
Wink at him especially when no one else is in the precinct thus sending him a clear indication that you’re feeling flirty.
However, have a backup plan just in case the situation gets clumsy.
Wait until no one else is nearby or you’re certain no one’s looking at your direction and wink at him as you blush past each other.
Hint: A slow wink is more effective than a quick one. If you’re unsure of how he will react, a quick wink is more comfortable to explain away – something could have found its way into your eye is a great excuse.
5) Break the touch barrier
Brush against the guy and the physical contact will potentially take your flirting to the next phase.
How do you play safe?
Gently brush past him or bump into him.
Accidents do happen.
Tip: after an accidental bump somewhere in the hallway, always apologize with a deep sincere smile.
6) Touch of arms
While talking to the guy, you can always get away with touching his hands.
However, make sure the contact doesn’t linger far too long (2-3 secs).
Read the signs, and if he pulls away or appears uncomfortable, stop, and say something along the lines of “Sorry about that, my focus was on the project”.
7) Accentuate your movement
Be sensual with your walking —an easy trick to create charm in the workplace without seemingly showing it.
Guy’s like watching women’s body move.
So making a concerted effort to slow it down accentuates his attention.
Move slowly and directly cross his path regularly when you’re sure he’s watching.
Let him stare, and without much effort, you could be covertly flirting with him without saying a word.
8) Dress well…
Always dress well to keep a professional look.
When trying to get a guy’s attention, you have to appear at your best.
In the workplace, always maintain the dress code.
Choose the right outfits that will not only make you feel comfortable but also impress you.
9) Ask for help
Must be the oldest trick in the flirting book.
Create a situation in which you would need the guy’s advice.
Such an innocent maneuver will allow you to collaborate at work.And if possible, invite him over to your place to work on a project together.
Alternatively, you can ask his opinion about a work-related issue.
His answer will provide you with a leeway to talk to him.
Example. Ask if you can jointly work on a client pitch or partner on a project.
Tip: In the event, a conversation ensues, keep it going. Open-ended questions may be your best approach.
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It doesn’t help much that sometimes you have to be discrete when flirting.
Of course, you have to try to be friends first.
One of the best ways to flirt with a guy in middle is, if possible, to invite him over for a group hangout.
If things work out the way you expected, up your game by asking him if you both could go to the movies.
If you and your crush are not in the same class, then use other avenues to get in touch with him or get close to him as possible.
When you finally get the chance to meet him, ask questions and closely observe his body language.
It always helps to have some inside jokes that both of you can share thus creating a connection.
At the end of the day, you might find that the guy is always looking forward to seeing you during the breaks.
So let’s take a bird’s view of the things you should do…
1) Find an opening
Although this might be a little harder for you than with the guy, you have to find a way to initiate your flirting game.
You can’t expect him to ask you out if he doesn’t have an idea that you’re into him.
So, you need an excuse to stoke the fire.
Ask him to help you with a book because you forgot yours.
Then, thank him and ask a quick question like – “Hey, cute shoes—where did you buy them? – or any other question that comes into your mind.
Next: Watch him closely and be keen on how he responds to you.
Read the signs— is he friendly or disinterested?
Does he make an effort to advance the conversation?
If the feedback is encouraging, then all you have to do is indicate your availability.
How can you get that done?
Set him up to enquire about your typical areas of interest.
If he enjoys watching a specific TV show, movie, music band, or activity, you can always say something in the lines of;
“oh wow! I’ve not watched it/done that before, but have heard some really cool things about it. Maybe one day you and I can (mention the activity)
What you’ve done is you instantly opened the door for him to speak his mind.
If he’s into you, Congrats! You’ve won him over…
Hint: Most guys may pick up signals without realizing it. With some practice from your end, it’s possible to alter a guy’s perception of you without having to say much.
On the other hand, attempting to get every detail about his life can result in the guy feeling like he’s being interrogated.
2) Invite him to a dance
You may never find a more natural way of letting a guy in middle school know that you like him without breaking a sweat.
Choose a school event or other suitable occasion as long as you can have some one-on-one time with him.
How should you handle yourself?
Step 1: Make it evident that dancing with him is your choice. Hold his hands and drive him away from the group. A willingness on his part will reflect the progress you both have made.
Step 2: Avoid being overly sensual — this could easily lead to an uncomfortable situation.
Step 3: If he’s not an astute dancer, try to accommodate the awkwardness. Even if you have to pull off some wacky dance moves yourself to make him feel at ease, so be it. Be silly and have fun. Laughing about it will make it worthwhile.
Step 4: Slow down the dance moves, if you can, and try to maintain steady eye contact while your arms are on his shoulders.
3) Leave him craving for more
Don’t allow the conversation to fizzle out or last too long such that he either gets bored or becomes distracted.
Instead, leave while the interest is still there and you can be sure he’ll be eager to see you again.
Leave the impression that there can be a ‘next time.’ As such, the following tips may be of help. “State, you have to run, but he can still get to see you around tomorrow.” That way, you’d have laid the groundwork for the next meeting and I’m sure he will get to be with you again.
Remember to state you had a wonderful time.
How to Flirt With a Shy Guy
Shy guys are great to have as boyfriends or husbands.
They are very loyal and they hardly fake their love because most of them are nerds. And believe me, nerds are the sweetest set of people to have around.
If you want to flirt with a shy guy, you must make the first move!
You have to time it right and pick the perfect moment.
But most times, the first move is not always enough. You have to make him open up and be comfortable around you.
Allow him to express himself.
The following are some of the things you can do:
First, ask him to help you with something—could be some advice on a subject you’re aware he’s good at.
Subsequently, make him comfortable around you by not coming in too firmly.
Invoke a conversation, and you’ll know his feelings for you when he shows interest in your hobbies or favorite pastimes.
Second, do something to reciprocate his help – it could mean taking him out for dinner.
At this point, easy is the keyword —even a hug could end up ruining everything and probably embarrass him
At first, shun conversations that might involve relationships or love.
Finally, choose the right approach carefully.
Sometimes, it can prove to be a masterstroke if you pick the right channel of communication. i.e., shy guys 9 out of 10 times may not be comfortable with one-on-one flirtations, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t enjoy it over texts.
So what do you do next?
1) Be creative
It helps to be bold in a subtle way.
Come up with a plan and pick an event you know he will most likely be interested in.
Then let him know that a friend gave you some extra tickets they could not use.
Subsequently, ask if he wouldn’t mind accompanying you to the event or participating in so-and-so activity with you.
Chances are, this is the moment he has been waiting for, and you will see it in his eyes.
Then, go out and buy the tickets and chose the best seats for the event.
Move the conversation forward
Striking up an interesting conversation will help escalate the situation and encourage you to flirt more openly with your crush.
Still, you have to find the right opportunity and at the same time identify things that you share in common.
Where do you look for topics?
It could be at school, the workplace, or at recent events.
Open questions will indicate that you’re interested in getting to know him, more than just talking about yourself. Transition the talk to revolve around the guy, especially about things that he’s passionate about.
Avoid questions that are likely to have a “yes” or “no” answer because this could potentially be a surefire way to end a conversation prematurely.
Frequently mention his name. People like hearing their titles in a convo, especially if it’s coming from a person they like a lot. Calling a shy guy by his name may be a quick way to develop intimacy between the two of you.
2) Compliment Him
Niceties go both ways and it’s not surprising that guys enjoy compliments too.
You can make the compliment work for you by using the following tips…
Being specific – The more precise you are in your compliment, the better the reception. Focus on a particular attribute that you admire in him and be forthright in highlighting it.
Instead of only applauding his achievements, you can also go one step further by praising some of his standout traits.
It helps if you can lean in close and slightly lower your voice when complimenting him. Why? Such an effort makes flattery more intimate and sexy.
Establish firm eye contact and smile slightly as a sign of your sincerity and genuine attention.
In the absence of body language and verbal cues, you’d feel that online flirtation is counter-intuitive.
You may find the experience relatively different and devoid of the physicality associated with other forms of flirtation.
However, emotionally charged and playful teasing is still achievable over the internet, although the approach is somewhat unique.
How do you get him to reveal what he feels for you if all you do is video chat?
After some time, observe how often he initiates the chats and the length of time you spend together.
Ultimately, if both of you are investing ample time in communication, you’ll be in a position to tell whether you enjoy each other’s company.
Nevertheless, you still have to be careful and creative when flirting online to steer the conversation in the right direction.
Depending on how comfortable you’re at any given stage of your interaction, you should be able to judge when you should inform the guy that you like him.
1) Write properly
In most instances, unless you’re in grade school, an overreliance on shorthand texting language can create a barrier when trying to impress a guy you like.
That is why you should carefully craft an intelligent and mature persona.
It’s a plus to utilize proper spelling, grammar, and moderation of emoticons.
2) Be Civil
Every time you post, you should consider how the post reflects on you as a person.
Though you might find room to make an excuse when you make an offensive or unreasonable post, most of the time, it’s counterproductive.
In case you need to impress a guy on the web, it will not hurt if you could tone down your online personality.
Every guy, trust me, is looking for a specific set of traits in a prospective girlfriend and I’m absolutely certain that a vast majority would prefer a tactful girl.
3) Make your social posts an image of your thoughts and likes.
Although it’s hard to like everybody you meet online, try to be kind to everyone.
In most cases, you have little control over who sees your posts — thus, reserve personal perceptions to private messaging.
4) Public flirting should focus on one person
If you’re really interested in a guy, be truthful about it, and don’t make it public.
Don’t go about saying the same thing to other guys because if he eventually finds out, I don’t have to tell you what’s going to happen.
However, if your interest is in harmlessly flirting with several guys, try and keep the conversation away from the public domain.
Principles that can be of help:
Save the key milestones (concession of your feelings) until you meet the guy in person. Letting your feelings known can be an emotionally draining experience, and you’ll be missing out on the sensation by spewing your innermost feeling over a chat. For all you know, the guy could be there for fun and may not be taking you seriously.
As a follow-up to the previous point, don’t give too much detail about yourself online. Your post can quickly be taken out of context or worse still, land in the wrong hands. Hence, be careful with the personal information you transmit online, especially when chatting with a guy you barely even know.