Last updated on October 5th, 2019 at 09:25 pm
Ending a relationship is a tricky but serious decision.
Even though your time together is coming to a climax, you would not want to hurt the other party.
But how do you go about it the right way?
That’s why you’re here!
To help you make a good decision, I’ve prepared 10 good and bad ways of ending a relationship.
So grab the good and avoid the bad.
Alright, let’s get right into it.
What Will I Learn?
- 10 Good Ways to End a Relationship
- 10 Bad Ways to End a Relationship
10 Good Ways to End a Relationship
Even though you want to end your romantic relationship with your partner, it does not necessarily mean that you would want him or her completely out of your life.
You would want to avoid looking like the bad person.
But, is it possible not to be the bad guy?
Yes, it is!
But when you employ some of the better ways to end a relationship, you can avoid making the other person feel the same.
So, here are 10 solid ways to end a relationship in the right way.
1) Make sure you both are prepared
Have you ever had someone break up with you out of the blue?
Well, it can come as quite a shock, and the surprise element of it can often be devastating, especially if you have been in a long-term relationship.
When you know that you are not into the relationship anymore, the best thing to do is slowly phasing things out and prepare your minds, rather than ending them abruptly.
2) Don’t avoid your partner
Even though you want to ensure that your partner is prepared in case of a break-up, you should not ignore or avoid them.
To avoid an awkward conversation, people often resort to avoiding their partner.
This may add to their hurt feelings later on, and over time, will make you feel horrible as well.
3) Be honest about what you are feeling
There will not be any closure for both parties until all of the feelings are hashed out.
Being honest about your feelings allows your partner to feel comfortable about sharing theirs.
By shielding the other person form your true feelings, you may leave them feeling even more hurt and confused.
4) There is no need for blame
Any relationship, whether it is romantic or not, short or long term, can teach you valuable lessons.
Most times, when it comes to ending a relationship, it may be one-sided or even through an agreement.
Hence, there is no reason to blame the other party for the end of the relationship.
There are better ways to end a relationship than blaming the other person, as it will only make matters worse.
Thus, instead of blaming the other person, you both should have a calm discussion and disposition and talk things through.
5) Be clear about the cause
If you still care for the other person, then you would not want to hurt their feelings.
However, this does not mean that you give them a vague reason for ending the relationship.
If you are thinking of ending your relationship, take some time off to think of the reasons why you want to end it.
6) Make sure you are certain
The feeling of wanting to end a relationship is never a good one, especially if you have been in the relationship for a long time.
One minute you may be feeling indifferent towards them (harsh, but it can be true sometimes) and the next, they do something sweet, and you feel affectionate.
So, before you take the big step, make sure you are certain about your decision, don’t break up with them and then a month later trying to get back together.
7) Make sure that you avoid cliché lines
It is always the first instinct to want to protect the other person’s feelings or not to want to be the bad guy in the situation.
Human beings are social creatures, and hence, you seek a sense of affiliation with others.
However, clichéd lines do more harm than good, and it is best to stick to the facts and offer them a clear explanation of what is going on rather than going about it in circles.
8) Do it in person
Don’t break up with someone over the phone or worse, via a text.
But the easy way out is often the coward’s way out, and in this case, it can be quite hurtful to the other person.
Additionally, in this situation you cannot avoid being the bad guy unless you have no other option, maybe because they live somewhere else; there is no justifiable reason for you to end things virtually.
9) Establish boundaries
You may still want to be friends with your partner, or still, be in contact with him or her.
In fact, to you, it may seem like the key to ending things on a good note.
However, to end a relationship the right way, you must take some time away from each other.
It is not just about the other person, but you as well.
You both will need some time to move on from the relationship, and heal for a little while.
It is not easy to move on from a person when you both are still talking to each other every day.
Reaching out to them after some time has passed is not a problem, especially if you truly want to remain friends.
But ensure that you do not leave them feeling confused about how you feel for them.
10) The final goodbye
After you have had this difficult conversation, make sure that you take some time to say goodbye to them properly.
That does not mean that you both did not spend some good times together.
Make sure that you say goodbye to them properly, and that you ensure that they are not too hurt or bereft in the situation.
This final goodbye will allow you both to hash everything out, and it will allow you both to get your feelings out there.
10 Bad Ways to End a Relationship
Whatever your reason may be, we have listed some of the bad ways of ending a relationship.
There are better ways of ending a relationship than the ones listed below, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, these can seem like the best way.
1) Ghosting them
This has become a sort of fad, especially if you have been in the relationship for only a short while.
Ghosting a person leaves them without any closure.
In fact, in the long run, it may even come back to hunt you.
The closure allows the healing process to begin for the other person.
In other words, it prolongs the heartache and can end up creating more damage than a straight-up rejection.
2) Breaking up in public
Unless you are breaking up with your partner in public for your safety; such as when you are ending a relationship with a toxic or an abusive partner, breaking up in public is not a good idea.
A break up will leave the other person hurt no matter what. None of your words can truly soften the blow.
Hence, the other person is bound to feel upset, or maybe even lost, confused and embarrassed.
Breaking up with them in public, where there are several people around will drive these emotions further.
Sometimes, people try to break up with the other person in a public place to prevent them from creating a scene.
However, there are about 50-50 chances of it working or ending up in a disaster.
3) Involving other people
Taking help from other people to know what to say, or how to go about a break up is completely fine.
After all, it is a difficult task, and you need all of the help that you can get.
However, letting someone else do the breaking up for you is not the way to go.
It is not only disrespectful and cowardly, but it also shows the person that you cared little for them or the relationship.
The least you could do is giving them the dignity of talking to them yourself and explaining the situation.
Yes, it may be tough, but this is something that you have to do on your own.
4) Cheating and mentioning it to your partner
You may be so fed up in your situation that you may think that cheating is the best option for you to end a relationship the right way.
However, needless to say, there are better ways to end a relationship.
It may even leave them unable to trust another person again.
If you, unfortunately, have already cheated on your partner, you do not have to rub it in their face.
You may be ready to move on with the other person but it is not ideal for you to declare that in front of your partner.
5) Trying to be the bad guy
Now, you may be thinking, “who would ever want to be the bad guy in this situation?”
Well, there are a lot of people who would prefer that.
The conversation to end a relationship is a difficult one, as we have reiterated numerous times.
They will do everything to act like a jerk, and get the other person to dump them and move on.
However, while this may allow you to avoid being the one who starts this conversation, it will ensure that you cannot remain friends with the other person.
In your desperation to get dumped, you may act in a rude and abrasive manner which will leave the other person feeling hurt and confused at your sudden change in behavior.
6) Making up lies and excuses
As mentioned earlier, being honest about your feelings is the key to ending a relationship in the right way.
There are better ways for you to end a relationship than lying to them.
Thus, you should always be honest, and most of all, avoid shielding them from getting hurt by using clichéd lines.
7) Blindsiding your partner
As mentioned earlier, the element of surprise can be one of the key factors of your partner feeling hurt and confused about a break-up.
Acting like everything is okay and then breaking up with the person is not a right move.
It helps give your partner some idea that you are not feeling the best in the relationship, and hence, they will not be in for a shock when you do decide to break up with them.
8) Slowly disappearing
Because you wanna end the relationship, you may want to avoid the person for as long as possible, and you may even think that you can slowly fade out of their life.
While it is not as cruel as ghosting them, it comes quite close to it.
This method only leaves your partner feeling hurt and confused about the relationship.
9) Blaming yourself
Do not put the blame entirely on yourself.
Sharing the reason why things aren’t working out will help your partner realize some things about him or herself.
10) Keeping a hold
One of the worst ways to break up with someone is to not break up with them at all.
That’s right; sometimes, people just keep holding onto a dead relationship, where they do not feel the same love they had for each other.
Hence, when it is time, make sure that you choose to end a relationship the right way instead of dragging it out.
Relationships are tricky, whether you are trying to make it work or trying to move on.
There is no rulebook, nor is there a one size fits all solution for relationships problems.
Every situation is different and hopefully, with the help of this article, you will be able to find a solution that best fits your relationship.