Last updated on October 5th, 2019 at 09:25 pm

Ending a relationship is a tricky but serious decision.

Even though your time together is coming to a climax, you would not want to hurt the other party.

But how do you go about it the right way?

That’s why you’re here!

So, if you want to know what you should or should not do when ending a relationship, keep reading.

To help you make a good decision, I’ve prepared 10 good and bad ways of ending a relationship.

So grab the good and avoid the bad.

Alright, let’s get right into it.

10 Good Ways to End a Relationship

ending relationship the right_way

Even though you want to end your romantic relationship with your partner, it does not necessarily mean that you would want him or her completely out of your life.

Of course, they might inevitably feel bad that things are ending, but if you end a relationship the right way, then you may have more chances of being friends with the person later on.

You would want to avoid looking like the bad person.

But, is it possible not to be the bad guy?

Yes, it is!

If you have experienced someone breaking up with you, it essentially feels as though someone has stomped on your heart.

But when you employ some of the better ways to end a relationship, you can avoid making the other person feel the same.

So, here are 10 solid ways to end a relationship in the right way.

1) Make sure you both are prepared

preparation

Have you ever had someone break up with you out of the blue?

Well, it can come as quite a shock, and the surprise element of it can often be devastating, especially if you have been in a long-term relationship.

Hence, it is easy to see that there are better ways to end a relationship than telling them that you love them one day, and breaking up with them the next.

When you know that you are not into the relationship anymore, the best thing to do is slowly phasing things out and prepare your minds, rather than ending them abruptly.

2) Don’t avoid your partner

couple avoiding themselves

Even though you want to ensure that your partner is prepared in case of a break-up, you should not ignore or avoid them.

When you know that you want to move on from a relationship, it can be a burden to see your partner every day, especially, when you are trying to build up the courage to end things.

To avoid an awkward conversation, people often resort to avoiding their partner.

While it does help in giving your partner inkling that something is wrong, it is not the best way to do so.

This may add to their hurt feelings later on, and over time, will make you feel horrible as well.

3) Be honest about what you are feeling

honesty

One of the better ways to end a relationship is to be truthful about what you are feeling. Unless you let them know how you are truly feeling, a break up may be confusing for them.

There will not be any closure for both parties until all of the feelings are hashed out.

Being honest about your feelings allows your partner to feel comfortable about sharing theirs.

Honesty is a major component of any relationship, and even as you are ending a romantic relationship, your honesty with the other person should not end.

By shielding the other person form your true feelings, you may leave them feeling even more hurt and confused.

4) There is no need for blame

blame game

Any relationship, whether it is romantic or not, short or long term, can teach you valuable lessons.

Most times, when it comes to ending a relationship, it may be one-sided or even through an agreement.

Hence, there is no reason to blame the other party for the end of the relationship.

While you should be honest about your feelings, you should not throw accusations, but rather help them understand what you are feeling and why blaming the other person does not solve the problem, rather, it only leads to hurt feelings.

There are better ways to end a relationship than blaming the other person, as it will only make matters worse.

Relationships that end because of blame and accusations lead to bitter feelings and ensure that the two people cannot be civil to each other ever again.

Thus, instead of blaming the other person, you both should have a calm discussion and disposition and talk things through.

5) Be clear about the cause

Being clear about why you want to end the relationship does not mean that you have to point out their faults, and the mistakes they have made.

If you still care for the other person, then you would not want to hurt their feelings.

However, this does not mean that you give them a vague reason for ending the relationship.

You should make it clear that there is a definitive cause for the end of the relationship; otherwise, there may be no closure for you both.

If you are thinking of ending your relationship, take some time off to think of the reasons why you want to end it.

6) Make sure you are certain

The feeling of wanting to end a relationship is never a good one, especially if you have been in the relationship for a long time.

It can often be confusing; you aren’t sure whether you still want the person in your life because you love them, or just because you have gotten too used to having them around.

One minute you may be feeling indifferent towards them (harsh, but it can be true sometimes) and the next, they do something sweet, and you feel affectionate.

So, before you take the big step, make sure you are certain about your decision, don’t break up with them and then a month later trying to get back together.

This experience will leave both of your feelings hurt and will end up making the other person resent you for confusing them about your feelings.

7) Make sure that you avoid cliché lines

lady not listening to sweet talk from guy

We have all heard of “Oh, it’s not you, it’s me!” or, “You’re such a great person, but…” these lines are cliché and although, clichés can sometimes be effective, in this case, it most certainly is not.

It is always the first instinct to want to protect the other person’s feelings or not to want to be the bad guy in the situation.

Human beings are social creatures, and hence, you seek a sense of affiliation with others.

So, even when you want nothing more than to end a relationship, you still want to appear friendly, so that they do not resent you, or worse, bad-mouth you to others.

However, clichéd lines do more harm than good, and it is best to stick to the facts and offer them a clear explanation of what is going on rather than going about it in circles.

8) Do it in person

couple serious serious discussion

Don’t break up with someone over the phone or worse, via a text.

It may be tempting to avoid this awkward conversation, and you do not want to do it while staring them in the eye.

But the easy way out is often the coward’s way out, and in this case, it can be quite hurtful to the other person.

They may feel as though the relationship was worthless to you as you are not even taking the effort or offering them the dignity of speaking to them in person.

Additionally, in this situation you cannot avoid being the bad guy unless you have no other option, maybe because they live somewhere else; there is no justifiable reason for you to end things virtually.

9) Establish boundaries

boundary

You may still want to be friends with your partner, or still, be in contact with him or her.

In fact, to you, it may seem like the key to ending things on a good note.

However, to end a relationship the right way, you must take some time away from each other.

No matter how hard you try, there is no way of walking away from a relationship unscathed.

It is not just about the other person, but you as well.

You both will need some time to move on from the relationship, and heal for a little while.

It is not easy to move on from a person when you both are still talking to each other every day.

You do not have to ghost them right away, but slowly phase it out, and reduce the time that you spend in contact with each other.

Reaching out to them after some time has passed is not a problem, especially if you truly want to remain friends.

But ensure that you do not leave them feeling confused about how you feel for them.

10) The final goodbye

girl leaving guy

After you have had this difficult conversation, make sure that you take some time to say goodbye to them properly.

May be things weren’t that great between you two at the end of the relationship, or might be it just fizzled out.

That does not mean that you both did not spend some good times together.

Make sure that you say goodbye to them properly, and that you ensure that they are not too hurt or bereft in the situation.

This final goodbye will allow you both to hash everything out, and it will allow you both to get your feelings out there.

10 Bad Ways to End a Relationship

ending relationship badly

Now, you may be here because you want to know what you should avoid when ending a relationship, or you want the other person never to want to see your face again.

Whatever your reason may be, we have listed some of the bad ways of ending a relationship.

If your ex is ignoring you, it may just be because you have unknowingly employed one of the following methods and they would better avoid you for the next ten years than talk to you again.

There are better ways of ending a relationship than the ones listed below, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, these can seem like the best way.

1) Ghosting them

This has become a sort of fad, especially if you have been in the relationship for only a short while.

But sometimes, even long term relationships can end this way, needless to say; there are some better ways to end a relationship than ignoring them or blocking them from getting in touch with you.

Ghosting a person leaves them without any closure.

In fact, in the long run, it may even come back to hunt you.

The closure allows the healing process to begin for the other person.

However, ghosting them only delays the closure, and hence, they are not able to move on with their lives as quickly as possible

In other words, it prolongs the heartache and can end up creating more damage than a straight-up rejection.

2) Breaking up in public

public break up

Unless you are breaking up with your partner in public for your safety; such as when you are ending a relationship with a toxic or an abusive partner, breaking up in public is not a good idea.

A break up will leave the other person hurt no matter what. None of your words can truly soften the blow.

Hence, the other person is bound to feel upset, or maybe even lost, confused and embarrassed.

Breaking up with them in public, where there are several people around will drive these emotions further.

They may be embarrassed and feel anxious about someone else overheating this difficult conversation and, in the end, it will only end with them feeling upset that you not only broke up with them but chose to do it in such a public place.

Sometimes, people try to break up with the other person in a public place to prevent them from creating a scene.

However, there are about 50-50 chances of it working or ending up in a disaster.

Hence it will benefit you if you assess the situation carefully before choosing to end your relationship in public.

3) Involving other people

Taking help from other people to know what to say, or how to go about a break up is completely fine.

After all, it is a difficult task, and you need all of the help that you can get.

However, letting someone else do the breaking up for you is not the way to go.

You may want to avoid this awkward conversation, you may even be scared to hurt the other person feeling because you aren’t sure how you should pick your words, but under no circumstances is it okay for you to let another person do this job for you.

It is not only disrespectful and cowardly, but it also shows the person that you cared little for them or the relationship.

The least you could do is giving them the dignity of talking to them yourself and explaining the situation.

Yes, it may be tough, but this is something that you have to do on your own.

4) Cheating and mentioning it to your partner

If you are having thoughts about cheating on your partner, or you have found someone that you are interested in, end the relationship as soon as possible.

You may be so fed up in your situation that you may think that cheating is the best option for you to end a relationship the right way.

However, needless to say, there are better ways to end a relationship.

Cheating on the person is not only disrespectful, but it hurts them more than any sort of rejection would.

It may even leave them unable to trust another person again.

If you, unfortunately, have already cheated on your partner, you do not have to rub it in their face.

You may be ready to move on with the other person but it is not ideal for you to declare that in front of your partner.

5) Trying to be the bad guy

Now, you may be thinking, “who would ever want to be the bad guy in this situation?”

Well, there are a lot of people who would prefer that.

The conversation to end a relationship is a difficult one, as we have reiterated numerous times.

This leads some people to want to avoid being the one to break up with the other person, and rather let the other person break-up with them.

They will do everything to act like a jerk, and get the other person to dump them and move on.

However, while this may allow you to avoid being the one who starts this conversation, it will ensure that you cannot remain friends with the other person.

You may think that you are the nice guy by making the other person hate you, and thus, helping them get over their feelings for you, but that is not the case.

In your desperation to get dumped, you may act in a rude and abrasive manner which will leave the other person feeling hurt and confused at your sudden change in behavior.

6) Making up lies and excuses

guy telling lies

You may think that you are sparing the feelings of the other person, but in reality, you are only adding insult to injury.

As mentioned earlier, being honest about your feelings is the key to ending a relationship in the right way.

There are better ways for you to end a relationship than lying to them.

Thus, you should always be honest, and most of all, avoid shielding them from getting hurt by using clichéd lines.

7) Blindsiding your partner

As mentioned earlier, the element of surprise can be one of the key factors of your partner feeling hurt and confused about a break-up.

Acting like everything is okay and then breaking up with the person is not a right move.

If you feel you want to end a relationship, it is best if you and your partner sit and have a long talk about your dying relationship and the niggling problems you feel the relationship has and why you want both of you to part ways.

It helps give your partner some idea that you are not feeling the best in the relationship, and hence, they will not be in for a shock when you do decide to break up with them.

8) Slowly disappearing

Because you wanna end the relationship, you may want to avoid the person for as long as possible, and you may even think that you can slowly fade out of their life.

While it is not as cruel as ghosting them, it comes quite close to it.

Just like ghosting a person, this method also delays the healing process and is equally painful.

This method only leaves your partner feeling hurt and confused about the relationship.

9) Blaming yourself

girl blaming herself

True, you do not want to make a list of all of your partner’s flaws, but you keep blaming yourself for all the bad that has happened in the relationship and that you’re the reason why the relationship is coming to a climax.

Do not put the blame entirely on yourself.

Sharing the reason why things aren’t working out will help your partner realize some things about him or herself.

There is no need to be harsh about it, but you should not completely avoid pointing out a few major flaws.

10) Keeping a hold

One of the worst ways to break up with someone is to not break up with them at all.

That’s right; sometimes, people just keep holding onto a dead relationship, where they do not feel the same love they had for each other.

While this may prevent both of you from being the bad guy, over time, your relationship will just become a chore, and may even lead to resentful feelings.

Hence, when it is time, make sure that you choose to end a relationship the right way instead of dragging it out.

In conclusion…

Relationships are tricky, whether you are trying to make it work or trying to move on.

There is no rulebook, nor is there a one size fits all solution for relationships problems.

While there are some good ways to call it quits, such as being honest and avoiding cliché lines, there are also bad ways like lying or making excuses and going for a public break-up

Every situation is different and hopefully, with the help of this article, you will be able to find a solution that best fits your relationship.

Further Reading…

21 Differences Between True Love And Infatuation

How to Handle One Sided Love Successfully

How to Stand Up For Yourself

How to Get Over Someone You Love