Last updated on November 30th, 2020 at 05:01 pm
- Did you have a hurtful breakup?
- Did your ex come back after a rebound relationship failed, what should you do?
This article will give you a detailed answer to that question…
Let’s get right into it…
What Will I Learn?
- My Ex Came Back After Rebound Failed – What’s The Right Thing to Do
- The first thing to figure out – Did your ex care about you during the rebound relationship?
- 7 Questions to ask yourself before you get back with your ex after a rebound relationship
- 1) What was the real reason for the breakup?
- 2) Did you break up with your ex or did she break up with you?
- 3) How did the rebound relationship happen?
- 4) Why did the rebound relationship didn’t work?
- 5) Did any of you cheat on the other?
- 6) Do you see a future with your ex?
- 7) Does your ex still love you?
- In Conclusion…
My Ex Came Back After Rebound Failed – What’s The Right Thing to Do
It is not uncommon to try to find happiness in a rebound relationship.
True, a sour relationship, lack of closure with an ex, and betrayal of trust are some of the most common reasons that can uproot any person’s life.
These not only question our self-esteem but also make us feel less important in their own lives.
Most people do not want to deal with this wound.
They jump into a rebound relationship even before healing from their earlier experience just to find momentary comfort or physical pleasure.
When we see an ex without another person, it’s natural to think “will my ex-girlfriend come back after a rebound?”
And most rebound relationships do not last long, because it lacks the spark.
And once it is over, we feel a longing for our true loved ones.
That is why it is not unnatural when an ex comes back after rebound relationships fail.
But should you accept your ex if they came back after a rebound relationship?
There are no hard and fast rules to make that decision. However, certain things can aid you to make the right choice for both of your happiness.
You need to know if the rebound relationship was even serious or just a flick?
There can be hints and signs which can help you understand this.
The first thing to figure out – Did your ex care about you during the rebound relationship?
Generally, rebounds tend to be short-lived.
It can be from weeks to a couple of months.
But if you were still in her mind during this time, signs can generally be observed much earlier.
1) Was your ex communicating with you when she or he was in a rebound relationship?
One of the reasons that people go into a rebound relationship is when they want their partners to think they have moved on.
A modern way of doing that is through posts on Facebook and Instagram, or frequently dropping texts or hints of communication.
It is natural after a breakup to block your ex from social media because seeing them is only more hurtful.
For instance, notice if your ex had suddenly unblocked you on social media platforms.
Is his life looking too perfect to be true?
Then, probably your ex wants you to know that he is doing well with another partner because he is trying to make you jealous or guilty for the breakup.
Find out if your ex regrets break up with you and he is hurting.
2) Is your ex complaining about her rebound relationship with his or her friends and family?
Generally, when people break up they confide into their closest friends about their true feelings.
If your partner is not happy with the rebound guy/girl, she or he will likely share those concerns with their close pals.
If you are in a common friends’ circle or have family ties, the best way to know about her true intentions is from them.
Now that you know if you were important to your ex, it’s time to find out if she is important to you.
7 Questions to ask yourself before you get back with your ex after a rebound relationship
This questionnaire will help you find a path to your answer of whether to accept an ex-girlfriend after a rebound relationship.
1) What was the real reason for the breakup?
A real breakup is messy and sad.
Strong relationships do not end unless there is a stronger reason behind it.
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- Differences of opinion
- Different career goals
- Not being on the same page
- Starting a family
- Having kids are only to name a few.
Sometimes it can even be depression, trauma from past, or a physical injury that puts us away from each other.
Even commitment phobia is one of the major causes of breakups today.
You cannot overcome these impactful obstacles with a rebound relationship.
It is a human tendency to hide our emotions and intentions from partners if that can hurt them.
We tend to give a silly reason because the truth is far worse.
- But if your ex came back after a rebound relationship, ask yourself, will you be able to strike up a balance with him or her?
- Do you guys still understand each other?
Do not run away from feelings.
You need to reflect upon the break-up, and why it happened.
Have an honest conversation with your partner and try to figure out if coming back together will make both of you happy.
Do not shy away from speaking candidly.
There is no shame in telling people what you truly want, and it is not selfish to lay out your expectations.
And no matter what you choose, choose to be happy.
2) Did you break up with your ex or did she break up with you?
Asking this question is important because the reason that your ex coming back may depend on it.
If it was not a mutual breakup then the power dynamics between people may be the root cause of problems.
If you were the one who broke up with your ex, you already know what went wrong before.
Think if, with time, those things have changed or evolved.
Do your earlier reasons seem invalid and silly now?
If yes, then it is time to reconsider your relationship with your ex.
But wait, if she broke up with you and is coming back it may be out of guilt or regret.
Take a few steps back, and analyze what role did you play in your relationship?
No two relationships are the same, but the roles we play tend to be similar.
a) Decision Maker
Were you the decision-maker in your relationship?
A decision-maker is someone who takes all major decisions and imposes their opinion on their partners.
It can range from deciding what food to cook to the property to buy.
Maybe it’s time to keep your dominant attitude in check, and that’s why she left!
Did you always accommodate your partner’s requests even if they did not make you happy?
Saying yes to everything is not necessary.
You need to ask for things you want but also not burden your partner with your choice.
c) Laid Backer
- Did you never involve yourself in important decisions?
- Were you lazy or ignorant to remember important events?
d) Non-Serious Guy
- Did you have a casual approach to your relationship?
- Were you serious with your ex?
Your partner may have said that she was not serious about you, but secretly hoped that you were exclusive.
Ask her about it!
Everyone loves being cared about and maybe your ex felt you did not give value to them enough.
Check if that has been a reason for the breakup.
Finding your role in a relationship would speak volumes about the breakup.
You can understand what your ex wants from you, and where you are lacking.
Take time to introspect into your relationship and sit down to have a conversation with your ex.
3) How did the rebound relationship happen?
Did it happen a week or months after the breakup?
Again, this depends on personal preference.
Many people jump into other relationships immediately and have less emotional baggage, while others may take months to move on.
Also, how did your ex met her rebound guy or girl?
If it was an old friend or someone your ex had already known, chances are that she had a soft corner for him earlier that grew into a rebound relationship.
Once she comes back, will this person not be in her life anymore?
If they still know each other, it might make things sour for both of you.
Rebound relationships are easier to dust off if it is someone new or someone your ex is unlikely to cross paths with.
That leads to the next question.
4) Why did the rebound relationship didn’t work?
Your ex was enjoying her rebound relationship until she wasn’t.
Was it because she still cared about you?
Generally, younger people break up with a rebound because it was not fun or what they were looking for.
But if your ex is looking for long-term involvement, they want to be with the right person.
Your ex may have realized that she lost you and started to repent the break-up.
Knowing why it didn’t work will give you a purview of her true intentions.
If your ex is coming back merely because he or she was bored, is it worth accepting her back into your life?
Trust and loyalty are cornerstones of any relationship.
But what if that trust is shaken?
5) Did any of you cheat on the other?
The term ‘cheating’ is very versatile.
Someone may consider a one-night stand as cheating.
Others may think it is an emotional connection with another person that is cheating.
The time and depth of involvement play a big role in determining if one person cheated on the other.
- If you cheated, think hard, why that happened?
- Trust issues can make a major difference in the long run.
- If your partner cheated on you, will you be able to trust him again?
- Aren’t sure if you were cheated?
Now, it can happen that the rebound happened almost as soon as you broke up.
In that case, you need to consider if the rebound relationship was with the same person that he or she cheated you with.
Was it a mere line-up even before the breakup?
Irrespective of how things may have played out, it would make no sense to get back with your ex if there is no future.
6) Do you see a future with your ex?
Cheating or betrayal of trust can take a long time to recover.
The only way to learn to trust your partner is to trust yourself.
The fear of losing them again can be haunting. But you must be conscious and not let suspicion impact your lives.
All of this requires emotional effort.
So, the question is, do you see a future at all?
No matter the reason for the break-up, you never really get back to the point where you left each other.
From gaining back trust to supporting your partner, you need to develop life goals with them.
It’s better to have long-term potential for your relationship if you choose to get back with your ex.
Finally, the most important of all the questions, is do you still love her and want her back?
7) Does your ex still love you?
Even before coming back into your life, your ex will show signs of concern or care.
Are you getting messages like ” I just want to check up on you”, ” Are you doing okay? ” and ” I remember the time we had …”.
These messages are a subtle sign of hinting that they care about you and are likely to come back.
If you are communicating with her often, it’s time to ask yourself, “will my she back after a rebound?” Know more about signs that your ex will eventually come back.
A person displays signs of care and concern because they still have feelings.
Whether to accept an ex-partner back or not is a complex decision, but you should respect their emotions.
Once you have figured out that your ex is not merely coming back to fill a void but truly and deeply cares about you, it’s time to ponder upon how you feel about them.
We are often wrong about people; circumstances also cause people to change. Do not let your misunderstandings cloud your judgment.
Think about what you want in life, and if your partner truly makes you happy.
Ultimately, the final decision must be a mix of logical aspects and your gut feeling.
Be willing to have hard conversations, and prioritize your dreams.