It’s an excellent tool that consists of putting space between you and your boyfriend.
It will enable you to get back in control of your life and be able to bounce back, but at the same time getting the attention of your ex again.
This period of not being in contact can range from around 3 weeks to 3 months.
It is crucial now that in this time you don’t cave in and reach out to him before this time is up.
Your ex has been taking you for granted up till now.
Now it’s time to turn the tables
In the No Contact Rule time, you need to disappear from his life and put into action some reverse psychology on your ex!
This period of zero contact will enable you to channel all your energies into becoming a new and improved, exciting, independent version of yourself.
Your ex is going to wake up and see that you are no longer at his beck and call.
There’s a new you that he won’t be able to resist.
At this moment in time, it is likely that he will try and come back!
Remember, a heartbreak such as what you are going through can be a huge benefit in disguise for you.
It serves as the turning point for change.
Some Reasons Why a Guy Does Try to Come Back – some of them you might not like to hear
1) Maybe your boyfriend broke up a bit too impulsively with you…
…and he realized it was a bit of a rash move. He wants to come back now that his head has cleared.
2) He is lonely
Immediately after the breakup, he had to start coping with the loneliness of having lost you.
If your boyfriend was always used to having someone on his arm so to speak, then going solo is going to be a bit tough on him.
Sometimes a guy will just come back because they miss the love and the attachment they once had.
They don’t really miss you; it’s just that he is having a hard time adjusting to being single again.
3) He has plenty of pride
He tries to come back to you because he is looking for confirmation of his self-worth.
When he was seen with you, it obviously gave out the message that he had someone, that he was worthy of love, and was receiving it.
Becoming single again makes his self-worth less diminished; no one is blowing his trumpet anymore – a quick way to get away from this fear is to come back to you.
4) He idealizes the past
Maybe you and he went out for quite a long time, but now the breakup means he will have to start all over and again and open up his inner feelings and his vulnerable sides to a stranger.
If he can’t find the right person to replace all he took from you, he might want to come back for fear of the unknown.
5) He believes he did make a mistake
Maybe if you are unsure about his reasons for having dumped you, you could consider giving him another chance.
Because getting close to your ex might finally show you why you should actually be apart, or not.
Listen to what he has to say about his reasons for wanting you to get back together.
If he says he is scared of being alone, or he feels insecure, break up with him permanently.
Good reasons why you shouldn’t take your ex back
1) It wasn’t an amicable breakup, in fact, it was messy
Maybe the breakup wasn’t mutual, and you felt that you got blindsided when he ended it on the phone.
So rude he was, not even taking you somewhere private where he could express his feelings in a clear, confident way.
He just ended the relationship quickly and with no consideration for your hurt feelings. You won’t want a guy like that in your life.
2) It wasn’t such a great relationship in any case
Well, it’s obvious your relationship wasn’t perfect, or else he wouldn’t have broken up with you.
But how was it before the breakup – didn’t you see any red flags already?
Maybe he was selfish and you found yourself catering to him more than he catered to you.
And when you did have some good times, he never gave you that feeling that he was your one true love.
3) He broke up without even giving a good reason
It’s one thing if he tells you privately, and with good reason, such as he was battling with depression, or there was a family drama.
But if he broke up with you to “explore his options”, meaning he wanted to have other girlfriends and sleep with them too, always looking for something better around the corner, you are well rid of him.
Never take him back just because you are lonely and bored.
It could be that right now you are feeling unwanted, lonely, and rejected.
But don’t let your emotions force you to do something so no one sees you alone and dumped, and you visualize just emptiness ahead of you.
4) He’s run out of options
Don’t you just wonder why your ex wants to come back when he was the one to dump you in the first place?
Has he become bored and you are a safe option?
Don’t let him use you to console him and make things right at your expense while he is trying to win someone else’s heart.
5) Remember, that people don’t really change
Unless he really has undergone a transformation, he will still be the same person that broke up with you.
And you might believe that he is changed into a Prince Charming.
But be careful; the first few months when you are back together he will show you his best side.
Sooner or later he will be back to his old ways once the relationship settles down again.
6) Remember you have so many other choices waiting to be taken
There are many things you can decide to do and there are also many more single people as well out there; you just have to go out and find them.
It will be better for you to put yourself out for some new people rather than take an ex back just because you are afraid of taking risks.
7) You have moved on and you won’t take him back
You didn’t really even mourn the breakup.
Maybe you shed a few tears because your feelings got hurt but that’s it.
If the relationship was worth anything to take him back, then the breakup would have been much more emotional and sad for you.
8) Don’t forget, if he dumped you once, he can do it again
He hurt your feelings once by dumping you.
Now his feelings are hurt because he realizes he is lonely and doesn’t want to be alone.
You still even have some resentment towards him, but he is asking to come back.
If he broke up with you once, there is every reason why he would do it again.
Do you want to date someone you don’t have confidence in?
9) Taking him back you just carry more baggage
If you are used to a kind of never-ending cycle of breakups and makeups, you are eventually going to carry more baggage than you would like into a new relationship and that you won’t want!
Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)
He dumped me – but now he wants to come back. Why?
When men decide to come back, they realize that you did have something that they still need, and they want to still be part of that.
Even though things might be tough for you after the breakup, you are the one in control of your life and of your happiness.
Should I take him back after he was the one who dumped me?
He may have dumped you, which could have been a good thing for you. But now he wants you back and you don’t know what to do.
We have given you some reasons above why guys usually want to come back. You will know what to do when you feel in control of your life and happiness.
How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back but won’t admit it?
He keeps on staying in touch with you even though he doesn't have to.
He is emotional when he chats with you or is with you.
He keeps on trying to explain why he dumped you or keeps on apologizing.
He wants to share his self-improvement plans with you.
Why do some guys act like they don't care about a breakup?
A lot of women wonder about this. But guys are not as emotional as women and like to keep their feelings under wraps, not wanting anyone to know about his true feelings after the breakup.
It might be just a couple of days ago, a week, a month ago that your boyfriend told you that he was dumping you.
Maybe it was because he didn’t love you anymore or maybe it was because of things you did that drove him to dump you – he didn’t think it was fair to stay in the relationship.
He felt that with time apart from each other, you might eventually get to enjoy each other again if he ever came back.
That would have left you understandably upset, as you put 100% into the relationship, waiting until the time came that he fully appreciated you one day – you even were the one to initiate spending time together with him.
But now you have been dumped.
It has been humiliating because you had many mutual friends and you didn’t want them picking sides, etc., and making everything awkward.
And then out of the blue on a day, he phoned you up again and wanted to come back into your life.
That left you reeling again, wondering whether it was the right thing to do because after all, love doesn’t just fly out the backdoor the minute you get dumped.
We have listed reasons above why a guy does ask to come back into your life.
You probably get the gist from the article in answer to the question, “Do guys who dump a girl ever come back?’
And the answer to that is yes. But should you take him back?
If you have managed to turn the tables on him and you are the one in the pound seat now; the one controlling whether you will be the one making the decision to take him back or not.
Because do you know what?
You owe him nothing after he chose to dump you.
Yes, you will have to be honest with yourself – it might be that he dumped you because of some bad habits or ill-doings of yours.
But then it will be up to you to show him the genuine new you that has changed if you want him back.
And the best person to consult with to make the right changes and resolve the issues will be you.
You go, girl!
And good luck!
“Don’t tell me I’ve changed when in reality I just stopped living life your way”