Often, family members will say to a heartbroken girl after her boyfriend has dumped her, “Don’t worry, he’ll be back,” and they hope that will comfort her.
- But do they believe that that is really true?
- If it is true, for what reason does he want to come back when he was the one that did the dumping?
- Should a girl take a guy back when she was dumped?
Surely he has his reasons why he wants to come back.
What Will I Learn?
- Now it’s time for you to control the situation
- Some Reasons Why a Guy Does Try to Come Back – some of them you might not like to hear
- Good reasons why you shouldn’t take your ex back
- 1) It wasn’t an amicable breakup, in fact, it was messy
- 2) It wasn’t such a great relationship in any case
- 3) He broke up without even giving a good reason
- 4) He’s run out of options
- 5) Remember, that people don’t really change
- 6) Remember you have so many other choices waiting to be taken
- 7) You have moved on and you won’t take him back
- 8) Don’t forget, if he dumped you once, he can do it again
- 9) Taking him back you just carry more baggage
- Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)
The days that follow a breakup are actually important ones for a girl
If she is hoping that her guy will come back, she should know that there are some dos and don’ts on her part that will determine whether he will be allowed to come back.
Frankly, to answer the question, do guys come back after dumping you, the answer is yes, they do come back.
And this could be even after they have been the ones to end the relationship.
But bear in mind if you are a girl reading this, that your behavior will also be a deciding factor…
Immediately after a breakup, you can know that tensions and emotions will be running high.
It is at this time that lots of guys and girls make big mistakes that can make the breakup permanent – no hope of return.
We are going to explain to you what you should do if you are interested to get your guy back into your life.
Maybe you have come to realize that he dumped you because you were not being fair, honest, and open with him.
But that does not mean that once you acknowledge that, he is just going to come back.
It is going to require lots of patience from you as well as self-control, and perseverance.
Many people just give up and don’t fight back or try and change, but you can be in control of this situation, in control of your actions.
You can take power today and turn things around.
There might well be a legitimate reason behind your boyfriend’s decision to end his relationship with you…
Just because he dumped you doesn’t mean he suddenly has fallen out of love with you and that he will simply disappear out of your life forever.
That can happen and it is possible.
But if he does still feel something for you, then his anger and frustration will eventually cool down and he will be thinking more positive thoughts towards you again.
That’s one reason he might come back when he has gotten over his anger and feels a bit more remorseful.
He might realize he still loves you and wants you back.
But there could be a problem here – often women will feel angry because of what happened.
They allow the angry feelings to surge up so that they want to push their boyfriends away.
Some will even promise to make the necessary changes, etc. to their ‘bf’ back.
Hopefully, that is not you because you can be sure your guy will run to the hills.
If you are feeling vulnerable and hurting, that’s one thing, but still, if your guy is going to come back, it will be of his own accord.
There is not much you will be able to do at this stage to convince him to come back.
Now it’s time for you to control the situation
Now is the time for you to win back some control and control the situation.
This will increase your odds of getting him back if that’s what you want.
But you will have to be very careful that you cut out all the clingy behavior.
What should be showing your ex is that you have dignity and that you value yourself.
It can be very tempting to just lie on the couch all day watching Netflix sob stories and dwelling on your sadness.
Sometimes dumped people hit social media stations like Instagram and Facebook, wanting their exes to see that they are pining and not doing well, like in Romeo and Juliet.
But this won’t cut it with your ex.
If he does come back, it will be because you made him happy and he wants that again.
You will have to be that person again if you want him back.
You do not want him to pity you, while gradually getting further and further away from you.
What about tackling those issues that led to the breakup so they don’t happen the next time?
It’s time to become the new and improved version of yourself; that’s if you want your ex back.
Men often want to come back because they know or have found something in you that they long for; they want to get close to again.
Remember, you are in control of your life and your happiness now; no other people.
Start looking around for what you can do with your life that brings you joy
You probably have great potential to change your life around, to do things that bring you great joy – but without your boyfriend.
Start shining, allowing your true colors to shine forth!
Find the time to spend with people you love, like doing stuff with your close besties and your family.
Or what about that hobby that you started long ago?
When your boyfriend sees you, he will be gob-smacked at your sexy, stunning turnaround.
You will be the one with the power and the choice to turn him away as you eye the other guys who are lining up.
But if the gym and working out doesn’t appeal to you, try other wonderful outdoor pastimes like surfing, running, yoga, hiking, etc.
Not only does physical activity benefit the body, but it works on mental and emotional health as well!
OK, let’s look at one more tool that can do wonders for you right now. Try this…
You might be feeling kinda pessimistic right now because you were shocked at your boyfriend’s announcement that led to such heartbreak for you.
Even though you have broken up, you feel it could probably be forever.
Sometimes these feelings put you at risk of making mistakes, like begging him to come back to give you another chance.
But here is a really powerful rule and tool that will help you even though you might not believe it.
It’s the No Contact Rule.
Heard of it before?
It’s an excellent tool that consists of putting space between you and your boyfriend.
It will enable you to get back in control of your life and be able to bounce back, but at the same time getting the attention of your ex again.
This period of not being in contact can range from around 3 weeks to 3 months.
It is crucial now that in this time you don’t cave in and reach out to him before this time is up.
Your ex has been taking you for granted up till now.
Now it’s time to turn the tables
In the No Contact Rule time, you need to disappear from his life and put into action some reverse psychology on your ex!
This period of zero contact will enable you to channel all your energies into becoming a new and improved, exciting, independent version of yourself.
Your ex is going to wake up and see that you are no longer at his beck and call.
There’s a new you that he won’t be able to resist.
At this moment in time, it is likely that he will try and come back!
Remember, a heartbreak such as what you are going through can be a huge benefit in disguise for you.
It serves as the turning point for change.
Some Reasons Why a Guy Does Try to Come Back – some of them you might not like to hear
1) Maybe your boyfriend broke up a bit too impulsively with you…
…and he realized it was a bit of a rash move. He wants to come back now that his head has cleared.
2) He is lonely
Immediately after the breakup, he had to start coping with the loneliness of having lost you.
If your boyfriend was always used to having someone on his arm so to speak, then going solo is going to be a bit tough on him.
Sometimes a guy will just come back because they miss the love and the attachment they once had.
They don’t really miss you; it’s just that he is having a hard time adjusting to being single again.
3) He has plenty of pride
He tries to come back to you because he is looking for confirmation of his self-worth.
When he was seen with you, it obviously gave out the message that he had someone, that he was worthy of love, and was receiving it.
Becoming single again makes his self-worth less diminished; no one is blowing his trumpet anymore – a quick way to get away from this fear is to come back to you.
4) He idealizes the past
Maybe you and he went out for quite a long time, but now the breakup means he will have to start all over and again and open up his inner feelings and his vulnerable sides to a stranger.
If he can’t find the right person to replace all he took from you, he might want to come back for fear of the unknown.
5) He believes he did make a mistake
Maybe if you are unsure about his reasons for having dumped you, you could consider giving him another chance.
Because getting close to your ex might finally show you why you should actually be apart, or not.
Listen to what he has to say about his reasons for wanting you to get back together.
If he says he is scared of being alone, or he feels insecure, break up with him permanently.
Good reasons why you shouldn’t take your ex back
1) It wasn’t an amicable breakup, in fact, it was messy
Maybe the breakup wasn’t mutual, and you felt that you got blindsided when he ended it on the phone.
So rude he was, not even taking you somewhere private where he could express his feelings in a clear, confident way.
He just ended the relationship quickly and with no consideration for your hurt feelings. You won’t want a guy like that in your life.
2) It wasn’t such a great relationship in any case
Well, it’s obvious your relationship wasn’t perfect, or else he wouldn’t have broken up with you.
But how was it before the breakup – didn’t you see any red flags already?
Maybe he was selfish and you found yourself catering to him more than he catered to you.
And when you did have some good times, he never gave you that feeling that he was your one true love.
3) He broke up without even giving a good reason
It’s one thing if he tells you privately, and with good reason, such as he was battling with depression, or there was a family drama.
Never take him back just because you are lonely and bored.
It could be that right now you are feeling unwanted, lonely, and rejected.
But don’t let your emotions force you to do something so no one sees you alone and dumped, and you visualize just emptiness ahead of you.
4) He’s run out of options
- Don’t you just wonder why your ex wants to come back when he was the one to dump you in the first place?
- Has he become bored and you are a safe option?
Don’t let him use you to console him and make things right at your expense while he is trying to win someone else’s heart.
5) Remember, that people don’t really change
Unless he really has undergone a transformation, he will still be the same person that broke up with you.
And you might believe that he is changed into a Prince Charming.
But be careful; the first few months when you are back together he will show you his best side.
Sooner or later he will be back to his old ways once the relationship settles down again.
6) Remember you have so many other choices waiting to be taken
There are many things you can decide to do and there are also many more single people as well out there; you just have to go out and find them.
It will be better for you to put yourself out for some new people rather than take an ex back just because you are afraid of taking risks.
7) You have moved on and you won’t take him back
You didn’t really even mourn the breakup.
Maybe you shed a few tears because your feelings got hurt but that’s it.
If the relationship was worth anything to take him back, then the breakup would have been much more emotional and sad for you.
8) Don’t forget, if he dumped you once, he can do it again
He hurt your feelings once by dumping you.
Now his feelings are hurt because he realizes he is lonely and doesn’t want to be alone.
You still even have some resentment towards him, but he is asking to come back.
If he broke up with you once, there is every reason why he would do it again.
Do you want to date someone you don’t have confidence in?
9) Taking him back you just carry more baggage
If you are used to a kind of never-ending cycle of breakups and makeups, you are eventually going to carry more baggage than you would like into a new relationship and that you won’t want!
Frequently Asked Questions(FAQs)
He dumped me – but now he wants to come back. Why?
When men decide to come back, they realize that you did have something that they still need, and they want to still be part of that.
Even though things might be tough for you after the breakup, you are the one in control of your life and of your happiness.
Should I take him back after he was the one who dumped me?
He may have dumped you, which could have been a good thing for you. But now he wants you back and you don’t know what to do.
We have given you some reasons above why guys usually want to come back. You will know what to do when you feel in control of your life and happiness.
How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back but won’t admit it?
- He keeps on staying in touch with you even though he doesn't have to.
- He is emotional when he chats with you or is with you.
- He keeps on trying to explain why he dumped you or keeps on apologizing.
- He wants to share his self-improvement plans with you.
Why do some guys act like they don't care about a breakup?
A lot of women wonder about this. But guys are not as emotional as women and like to keep their feelings under wraps, not wanting anyone to know about his true feelings after the breakup.
It might be just a couple of days ago, a week, a month ago that your boyfriend told you that he was dumping you.
Maybe it was because he didn’t love you anymore or maybe it was because of things you did that drove him to dump you – he didn’t think it was fair to stay in the relationship.
He felt that with time apart from each other, you might eventually get to enjoy each other again if he ever came back.
But now you have been dumped.
It has been humiliating because you had many mutual friends and you didn’t want them picking sides, etc., and making everything awkward.
And then out of the blue on a day, he phoned you up again and wanted to come back into your life.
That left you reeling again, wondering whether it was the right thing to do because after all, love doesn’t just fly out the backdoor the minute you get dumped.
We have listed reasons above why a guy does ask to come back into your life.
- You probably get the gist from the article in answer to the question, “Do guys who dump a girl ever come back?’
- And the answer to that is yes. But should you take him back?
If you have managed to turn the tables on him and you are the one in the pound seat now; the one controlling whether you will be the one making the decision to take him back or not.
Because do you know what?
You owe him nothing after he chose to dump you.
Yes, you will have to be honest with yourself – it might be that he dumped you because of some bad habits or ill-doings of yours.
But then it will be up to you to show him the genuine new you that has changed if you want him back.
And the best person to consult with to make the right changes and resolve the issues will be you.
You go, girl!
And good luck!