Last updated on September 13th, 2019 at 10:09 pm

  • Is my girlfriend cheating on me?
  • How can I know if she is cheating on me?
  • Am I with a cheating girlfriend?

These and many more pop up when there is a sudden change in the behavior of your partner.

One dangerous thing that can happen to someone is to be cheated on and not being able to decipher it.

I have been in a relationship with a cheater and I will say it is heartbreaking to find out that the one you profess your undying love for, is playing you like a poker game.

When I found out, I was destabilized but picked myself up and said to myself, “we all meet for a reason“.

Being in a relationship with a cheater is not one with a good feeling, as it is better to live without the knowledge of it than knowing you are being cheated on.

But it will get to a level you will not be able to cope with the feeling anymore.

The question then arises, “how can I know if my girlfriend is cheating on me?

Several people have come up with answers to this question, but I will like to tell you that their answers differ based on individual experiences and events.

It is not a myth to say we are all prone to adultery, you may beg to differ but that is the truth.

There have been various debates about who cheats more, is it the male or the female, but that is a discussion for another day.

Why do females cheat in the first place?

Since I’m a female, I’ll like to point out why we cheat.

Most females cheat due to loss of;

  • Communication
  • Bad sex
  • Revenge
  • Self-esteem
  • Jealousy to mention a few

Try and flashback if she has been complaining about some of these points to you, and then check out the signs in this post, and if she exhibits more than 5 of them, she is definitely cheating on you.

From personal experience, the first thing that will give you notifications is your instincts.

Once your instincts are pointing out some hints to you, do not take it for granted.

However, the most efficient proof is her being caught in the act, as trying to tap into their phones, reading their messages can lead to ugly results which may boomerang if in case they (your partner) is clean of your accusations.

From experience, the easiest way to know the truth is by simply asking her.

It is a two-way thing, she may be reluctant to answer you and she may tell you the truth.

But pointing out your observations may likely lead to the truth of the matter than series of secretive spying.

So if you are still not convinced, I’ve gone ahead to list out 25 proven signs you need to watch out for.

Read and digest them carefully.

Is My Girlfriend Cheating on me? 25 Proven Ways to Tell

1) She Is Busy All Of A Sudden

girl being too busy

One of the first sign to look out for if she is cheating is she becomes busy all of a sudden.

Let’s be realistic here, you will not be considered paranoid to think your girlfriend is cheating on you when she starts to become busy all of a sudden.

As lovebirds, it is necessary to make time for each other, especially on weekends.

But if she has a sudden change in routine over the weekend and this is happening over and over without a tangible reason either from work or school, then that is an indicator that should not be ignored.

She is busy due to the fact that someone else got her attention and as we all know once a someone gets a woman’s attention, she is swept away.

2) She Suddenly Becomes More Addicted To Her Phone

lady addicted to her phone

Once a woman becomes attached to her phone, it means someone else who got her attention is texting her.

It can be very surprising especially if the lady in question is not social media savvy.

Special attention should be taken if she picks some calls by leaving your presence or even staying up late just to engage in texting.

You can simply study how she engages in her texting behavior by;

  • Noting how fast she replies
  • Her facial countenance when she sees those messages
  • And relate it to how fast she replies your messages OR even how she abandons your message for days and fail to reply them.

Ask the following questions in your heart;

  • Is she always looking at her phone?
  • Does her facial countenance and expression look suspicious when she sees those messages?
  • Does she become cheered up once such messages or calls come in?
  • Is she on the phone receiving calls for a long period of time?
  • And if you become inquisitive about her recent new found a flair, what are her reactions?

These questions and observations should be answered within you, and once you start observing some cagey movements from her especially with her phone, you do not need a soothsayer to tell you she is probably cheating with the person she is always on the phone with.

3) She Changes Her Look Suddenly

lady changing her look

For most girls, their look is an important thing.

That is why they are ready to invest in clothes and makeups just to look good.

If you are dating a girl that prefers to dress simple and not use heavy makeups but one day you discover she is on a heavy face beat and flashy clothes, something new has set in.

She may go as far as trying new outfits you personally told her you do not like, but she is ready to try it out for new secret admirer.

She may even become more interested in shopping and trying new accessories on.

It could mean that someone else is trying to let her know how beautiful those things will look on her and that person is definitely not you.

4) She Suddenly Becomes Protective Of Her Phone

lady protecting her phone

Unlike the second point, here, she starts to guide her phone carefully, and she may, in turn, become overprotective of the phone.

She starts doing things she has never done before by putting a password on her phone.

And when you ask for the password she proffers to unlock the phone and give it to you rather than tell you the password.

In this case, you need to be suspicious and very worried.

What is she trying to hide from you?

She may even start deleting some messages when you inquire to have her phone, simply because she has something to hide.

In this case, you need to be suspicious and very worried because she is trying to hide something from you.

5) She Diverts The Conversation When A Certain Name Is Mentioned

Do you need help deciphering maybe she is seeing someone else?

One good way of finding out is how she acts when you mention a particular name.

If she becomes restless or quickly changed the subject when that name is mentioned, then something is between them.

The name could be the one you saw from her recent calls or messages that have been frequently popping up on her phone, or from the ones her friends have mentioned unconsciously.

It might also be someone she might have gushed about or even tried comparing you to.

This behavior is a sign she is seeing someone else.

6) She Suddenly Starts Having New Friends

lady with her friends

Making new friends is a good thing, but serious attention should be noted when she starts going out with a new set of friends.

Mind you, the first set of people that may tend to know about her new way of life will definitely be her friends.

Her friends may not be cool with the idea that she seeing someone else, and hence the need to have new sets of friends.

You may ask her about her friends and she may, in turn, come up with a flimsy excuse that does not even warrant her seeking a new circle of friends.

So if your woman suddenly has new sets of friends, there is definitely a brain behind it.

It could be that her newfound ground supports her new interest.

She may also not be interested in introducing you to her new group of friends.

7) She Suddenly Accuses And Becomes Jealous

lady yelling at her guy

  • Is your woman accusing you of cheating all of a sudden?
  • Does she increasingly become jealous more than ever?

These are indications she is cheating on you.

She is doing all these because she thinks you are cheating also and will want to be the victim in this scenario.

And she tries to manipulate you so she can clear her conscience.

She may casually accuse you of staring at every woman that passes by on the street, in the malls or even in the restaurant.

The accusation may rise to the extent of accusing you of cheating with every lady in your place of work, or female friends.

She may cause a tantrum by trying to know who you are texting or you are on speaking with on the phone.

She may alternatively be playful and tease you to admit you have someone else.

In any way it manifests, this sudden jealousy of hers is common for someone trying to cover up their guilty behavior.

This helps her push her away further from you.

8) She Suddenly Becomes Distracted

lady not happy

She will make it obvious to you that she is distracted by letting you know wishes she is somewhere else.

And she may be with you, but she is far away from you in her mind.

This becomes evident when what concerns you no longer move her, be it work-related issues or family-related issue, she does not have the time to worry about any of it.

Instead, she is thinking about something or someone else, which makes her no longer attached to you emotionally.

This is because she already has someone she is available for.

This is aa solid indicator that should not be overlooked in trying to know if your girlfriend is cheating.

9) She Suddenly Becomes Preoccupied With Her Privacy

lady alone

  • Has she become so busy lately?
  • What is distracting her?

And anytime you try to look into these issues, she is accusing you of being too nosy.

Well, this is another indicator that something is definitely wrong.

Out of nowhere, everything pertaining to her is personal and off-limits.

Everything now becomes a secret, and you do not have the audacity of asking.

The best way to go about it is by snapping out of your jealousy is she starts to hide things from you.

There is a popular saying “the best defense is a good offense”.

Give her some space while you evaluate yourself if you are actually too nosy or jealous.

10) She Suddenly Nags And Complain

nagging lady

Once your girlfriend starts to nag without a particular reason especially if it is not towards the improvement of the relationship, then something is fishy.

Does she alternate between picking having an argument, to constant nagging about trifling things?

Does she complain about;

  • How you look
  • Why you don’t want to try new hangout more often with her friends
  • Why she always have to go to the grocery store etc.

Simply because the new guy in question is doing all these things, she will want you to reciprocate them and you may find them odd and may turn to arguments and nagging from her.

Her complaints may be in different areas, but it all beats down to one major thing, and that is she is not happy.

It means the relationship you both share is not fulfilling to her as she has always thought it to be.

She is telling you she could overlook your faults, but now they are crystal clear to her.

And once she makes this known to you, it means she is ready to look for happiness elsewhere.

11) She Suddenly Finds It Hard Saying “I Love You”

Your relationship may be past those early romantic “I love you” days, but if she says the word “I love you” with a little disgust on her face, she definitely does not mean it.

She may also try to avoid replying the word to you by changing the subject or ignoring it completely.

You should also give special attention to the way she says the most important phrase in your relationship.

Try to discern whether there is enthusiasm or languid from her when saying those words.

12) She Suddenly Starts Dressing Up, But Not For You

Has your partner just upgraded her wardrobe?

Well, that is a good thing.

But the question should be, who is it for?

If she is trying to spoil herself that is a good thing, but once it is for a purpose which is not you, then you have to start wondering you it is for.

Try and figure out the way she dresses if you both are hanging out and check for the difference if she is going out without you but with her friends.

If there is a difference, does she have a convincing reason for that difference, and if not, she is definitely seeing someone or someone is already admiring her.

She may become excessively concerned about her looks and appearance, of which you may not be complaining about, but she is doing all these to look for her newfound fantasy.

13) She Does Not Kiss You With Passion Anymore

You do not need a soothsayer to tell you she is definitely cheating if she does not kiss you again.

But what of if she kisses you but there is no passion in the act?

Just like some points noted above and some to be listed below, this may be an indication of a problem in your relationship and may not necessarily be her cheating.

If that is the case, it is evident that she is on her way out of the relationship as there is someone already waiting at the corner.

14) She Suddenly Becomes Defensive And Avoids Questions

What more way can you point out that a girl is cheating than how she becomes defensive and starts avoiding questions.

Girls find it hard hiding their feelings.

They will simply express how they feel, so will your girl.

Girls become uncomfortable and worried about being caught cheating will devise means by acting defensive and avoid any question you ask her no matter how simple it is.

For instance, she did not show up for dinner due to work she was not able to finish.

You then asked her the following day, how her work the previous night went and she looks confused simply because there was no work anywhere but a dinner with someone else.

For her to cover her tracks and not get caught, she will simply act tired and give you a general “stressful” response.

15) She Suddenly Becomes Independent

Once your girl starts becoming independent without complaining about it to you, you need to check very well, she might be about to start seeing someone.

You may not have a girl that is not always spoiled or the one that can do most things without you, but trust me almost all girls are the same.

She always likes it when you;

  • Show up at her workplace to pick her up
  • Change the dead bulbs in the house
  • Does heavy thrashes

It has now become a thing of the past, and you have lost track of the last time you picked her up from work, and now she is used to doing everything perfectly on her own.

Trust me, independence is good sometimes.

The problem is becoming too independent and that, my friend, raises suspicions.

It may be that she may not be cheating yet, but the space created by her independence means she does not want you anymore.

16) She Seldomly Calls Or Texts

Without any doubts, this is a major indicator that she is definitely cheating.

Women are very clingy and romantic, they will keep on calling and texting you every moment just so they can hear how you are feeling.

We are never too busy for someone we love, we will find time from our tight schedule to hear from them.

A girl that loves you will find time to call or text you no matter her busy schedule.

It becomes worrisome especially if she is the type that is always texting.

It may even get worse in cases where there is no call or text for days especially if she is out of town. And it means someone else has got her attention.

You may try to initiate a phone call or text her, but she may not reply to your texts after days, or even fail to reply at all.

17) You Seldomly Get Intimate

Intimacy, as we all know, is a relationship booster.

Once the number of times you get intimate (sexual intercourse) declines with time, that is an indicator she is cheating.

If she always gives excuses as to why she cannot get intimate; may be due to stress from work or not in the mood (especially if she is sexually active) it means she is getting it from someone, not you.

Women are very secretive when cheating and she may decide to make you feel she is trying to do away with sex due to the fact that she does not enjoy sex with you.

But in the real sense of it, she is getting it from someone else.

It should be noted that this is one of the major reasons women cheat, so if she has been complaining of a boring sexual life over and over without improvement, just know she is cheating.

18) Her Friends Becomes  Strangers To You

Take it or leave it, if your woman is cheating on you, the first set of people to know about it will be her friends.

Most times, it may be due to the fact that they (her friends) initiated the infidelity move for her because every woman has a confidant they tell all their dirty secrets and also someone who advises them on the steps to take.

So if you see her friends looking at you like thrash, that’s because she told them you are thrash.

So if they start acting weird to you, it’s because your woman is having a nice time with someone else and they know about it.

Simply know something is definitely wrong.

19) She Has A Lot Of Good Looking Men On Her List

guys looking at a lady

As flimsy as this point looks, it is one of the glaring signs that she is cheating.

When a woman is cheating, her list of friends will be comprised of suitors and crushes.

As men, we love keeping a close tab on any woman we are having an intimate relationship with – even if she is with another man.

Apart from those men on her friend list, they will be liking her photos and dropping funny comments and remarks on her pages.

6 out of 10 of those men will be addressed as the guise of bros and besties.

This is where your work starts.

Always watch out for those she calls bros and besties.

They are the set of people giving you headaches and making your woman have a rethink about you.

20) She Does Not Care About The Relationship Anymore

This is very common with those in a long-distance relationship.

Once a girl stops being clingy, she stops caring about you or the relationship.

And if the relationship is a distant one, that is where the matter gets worse.

You might behave stupid, or act foolishly in public and she may not even be bothered.

It may also be that some basic dos and don’ts are no longer considered, ranging from hobbies, music playlist, favorite colors, etc.

Then at this point, it is better you count your loss and move on rather than trying to resuscitate it.

21) You Have Also Cheated On Her

We will not like to start pointing fingers, but if by any chance you have ever cheated on your woman, then there is a good chance she will reciprocate the act.

There is a popular saying “hell hath no fury than a woman scorned“.

Once you cheat on a woman, she is ready to return the favor and have the last laugh.

This is not a revenge, it is just the fact.

Infidelity always causes damage to any relationship.

So if you are prone to cheating, please do not ignore it as it simply is a sign to watch out for, even though it sounds weird, it is definitely a sign.

This might make her lose commitment or even have future plans with you due to this fact.

No woman wants to be in a relationship with a cheater.

For a woman to trust you back after you have cheated on her is very hard, she tends to look elsewhere for an alternative plan and if she is carelessly caught, she defends herself by telling you, you cheated first.

22) She Begins To Keep Secrets From You

Relationship entails sharing goals and future plans and no ‘secrets’.

But when she starts keeping secrets from you and you on the other hand hardly keep secrets from her, there is a problem.

The secrets may range from office meetings to appointments which she was free to tell you about before and suddenly stops telling you about them.

That means there is a new person she is telling those things.

It may look shocking for you to call your girl and she tells you she is on a business trip which she never mentioned to you.

It may be that she actually forgot, but once it keeps re-occurring, trust me, she is keeping secrets from you.

Secrets can also include her personal savings or investments and if you find out about it, she gives a flimsy excuse, just know things have gone out of hand.

23) She Does Not Show Up For Planned Dates Or Dinners

guy expecting a lady

This is a very critical point to be examined.

If you are in a relationship with a woman, you will definitely know her busy moments and how her schedule is for the weekend.

Now we are talking of a pre-planned dinner date, but she fails to show up.

Maybe the dinner was supposed to take place at a restaurant for 7:00 pm and you were there waiting for more than 3 hours and her phone keeps ringing without a reply, only for her to show up acting weird and giving you excuses she slept off.

That’s a sign to note, she may be truly sleeping, but I bet it was with another man.

If this keeps re-occurring until she decides not to even show up again for dates; but she keeps buying dinner clothes, then know for sure that she is having a date with someone else.

24) She Suddenly Tells You She Is Unhappy

Trust me, she is already cheating for her to make that statement.

A woman that is unhappy in a relationship tends to look for happiness elsewhere.

Her unhappiness may be due to the certain difficulty be it financial, sexually, etc.

Her unhappiness may also be due to previous experiences of what she went through in her previous relationship that you are exhibiting without you knowing.

Or it could also be from peers and colleagues at school or work.

She begins to exhibit behaviors that show she has lost interest in the relationship.

Your relationship used to be a spark, coupled with a series of dinner dates, movie nights, marriage invitations, etc.

But now there is a gradual lack of communication which yields little or no physical and emotional connection between the both of you.

As strong as women are, they cannot survive where they are not happy.

25) She Does Not Have A Future Plan In The Relationship

One key question to ask your woman is what is her plan for the relationship?

If she is withdrawn or finds the question shocking or weird, that is an indicator she is cheating.

As your girl, her goal is to end up being your Mrs., but once she does not see herself being that with you, it means she bound to look another guy she is going to settle down with and unfortunately that guy is definitely not you.

Once this is evident in your woman, it means she is cheating on you and that is why she is weighing her options.

In Conclusion…

Ask yourself this question; Is she really cheating or I am just being paranoid?

The fact that you are seeking for ways to know if she is cheating on you means your relationship needs work.

It shows trust is lacking between you and your partner, as there is no relationship that can survive without trust.

If you are having this feeling simply sit her down and talk things out.

Getting to know that someone you care for dearly is cheating can be a traumatizing and painful experience, especially if you have invested so much time in the relationship.

But that is not the end of the world, you will definitely survive the ugly phase.

It should be a thing of joy that you were able to find out, as many people are being cheated without them being aware of it.

If you really care and can forgive her, talk to her and make her know you are ready to forgive her, and that you are ready to work on your flaws too.

But if she is not remorseful, it is better to end the whole relationship thing than stay put in a toxic relationship, trust me, nothing is more painful and hurting like this.

On a Brightside, moving on will surely open new opportunities for you as pertaining relationship, and in no time you will be with a new hot mature woman, who appreciates and values you.

Well, with the points above, after careful observance and scrutiny and she admits that she is cheating on you, you may be hurt but do not let that bring your world down.

Thing is, she doesn’t truly love you as she claims she does because if she did, she’d not have cheated on you in the first place, especially if you’ve never cheated on her.

Further Reading

111 Newlywed Game Questions For Friends

50 Quotes About Relationships That’ll Spice Up Your Relationship

101 Open When Ideas For Best Friends

121 Questions to Ask Your Spouse